Excerpts From My Camping Diary (Sept. 18-20, 2019)

Dear George, 

We only had a little time left before the start of Autumn quarter classes and still hadn’t taken a summer vacation.  I suggested to Katja that my favorite choices were a Florida beach or a camping road trip up the Lake Michigan coast.  Florida was an unlikely choice because of hurricane rumblings in the Caribbean, and Katja reminded me for the fifth or sixth time that she doesn’t do camping any more.  I thought about going camping by myself but had mixed feelings.  Katja suggested gently that maybe it was time for me to give up the camping part of my life.  That seemed to trigger a decision.  Twenty minutes later I was lugging my gear up from the basement, getting ready for a trip to my favorite Southwestern Ohio park.  Here are a few anecdotes from my camping diary.

Fiscal Awakenings

What?  $35 a night?   For a campsite?  That’s more than we used to pay at the Red Roof Inn. 

Setting Up

It was hot at the campground.  Close to ninety.  I’d brought my six-person Gander Mountain tent ($2.50 at the thrift store) and my 10x12 foot screen house ($6 at CVS at their 90% off summer clearance sale).  There’s a lot of unaccustomed physical labor to putting up a tent.  Bending, lifting, pushing, pulling, pounding.   After 45 minutes I was sweating profusely but my stalwart tent was finally up and looking good.  Unfortunately the screen house proved even more troublesome.  Every time I put up a pole at one corner, all the rest of it fell down.  After five or six collapses, I managed to arrange a network of bungee cords that held the whole thing together.  Experienced campers, as you know, are scornful of screen houses, but I wanted to get a return on my investment.  I turned it into my personal den where I solved Suduko puzzles, read chapters from E.B. White, drank Merlot wine, wrote in my camping diary, and contemplated the vagaries of nature.

Working Out in the Forest

Our park has the best forest trails.  Since I was last there they have added a series of Par Cours exercise stations so that hikers can combine a workout with their hike.  The first station was called “Hand Walking”.  There were two five-foot-long parallel bars, about chest-high.  The challenge is to step up on a platform at one end, grip the bars with both hands, let your body hang down toward the ground, and then “walk” with your hands to the opposite end.  Something like gymnasts might do at the Olympics.  I stepped up, gripped the bars, let my body hang down, and immediately plummeted to the ground.  That was it for hand walking for me.  I think it’s meant for stringy youth who weigh eighty pounds or less.  Forests aren’t gyms anyway. 

Cuisine

All my meals were full of surprises.  At home my specialty is microwaving Lean Cuisines, so camp cooking expands my repertoire.  Breakfast was my forte: French toast — burnt black on one side, soggy on the other; char-fried Indiana bulk bacon; canned fruit cocktail; instant coffee; and a cup of nutrition-free Sunkist Diet Orange Drink (a tasty orange juice substitute). 

 Beasts in the Night

Campfires are the perfect way to end to the day.   When it turned dark at 8 p.m., I lit my fire and settled back in my camp chair.  After an hour I called Katja on my cell phone.  I told her it was kind of scary.  The campground was deserted and it was pitch black except for my fire.  Just as I said that I heard a growling noise.  I looked to my right, and there were two raccoons staring at me, about thirty feet away.  Startled, I screamed, “Get out of here!  Get out of here!”  They did scurry off.  Katja, nervous on the other end of the line,  said raccoons can be rabid and that I should get in the car immediately and lock the doors.  Just then another raccoon appeared from behind my picnic table.  “Get away!  Get away!” I screamed.  Shortly afterward I retreated to my tent, leaving the campfire and my worldly possessions to the raccoons.  

Plenty of Sleep

I have five or six air mattresses stored in our attic.  I brought along the one that has a handwritten tag on it that says, “Best available but goes flat.”  That proved to be an accurate description.   Since I lay motionless in my sleeping bag from nine p.m. to nine a.m., I did get at least six hours of sleep per night.    

Exit Encounter

On the last morning I got up late, had a leisurely breakfast, and began breaking camp and packing up my gear.  Checkout time was twelve noon, and it soon became clear I wasn’t going to make the deadline.  It made my nervous because I knew from past trips that park rangers make their rounds shortly after noon.  I worried about being late and maybe even charged for an extra day.  I finally had everything in the car at 12:50 p.m., but just as I started to pull out of my campsite the park ranger’s car drove up.  I stopped, hoping he would go by,  but he stopped too and got out of his car.  This is how our conversation went:

            Ranger: Just arriving, are you?

            Me:  Oh no.  No, I’m just leaving.

            Ranger: Just leaving?  Are you o.k. then?

            Me: Oh yes, I’m o.k.  I’m just really hot from packing up my gear.

            Ranger: (inaudible)

            Me:  I’m sorry, I don’t hear well.

            Ranger (repeating himself): Did you have a tent then?

            Me: Oh yes, I had a tent.  I just took it down.

            Ranger:  Oh.  And you’re sure you’re o.k.?

            Me: Oh, yes.  I’m just fine.  I know I’m late getting out.  I’m sorry for that.  I overslept.

            Ranger:  Oh, that’s all right.  I just wanted to make sure you were o.k.

            Me:  I appreciate that.  I am definitely o.k.  Thank you, sir.

            Ranger:  And you have a good weekend then.

            Me:  Thank you.  You too.

I was relieved to escape without any further interrogation, but the whole encounter was unnerving.  Perhaps the ranger was suspicious because of my nervousness.  Or maybe he is not used to seeing elderly husbands camping by themselves.  He might have thought I was one of those old guys that are listed as “Missing Adults” on the digital billboards over the expressway.  I’d been planning to stop for a Dairy Queen sundae, but instead I made my way back to home and civilization.   

Postscript

Overall, I had a good time.   Not everything went perfectly, but that’s why they call it “roughing it”.   It’s such a dramatic change from my everyday urban world.  Trees and flowers and squirrels instead of restaurants and baby carriages and fire engines.  I grew up in the woods, and I’m always nostalgic about returning.  When I was twelve years old camping offered a sturdy sense of independence, self-sufficiency, and mastery.  The same holds true nowadays.

Love,

Dave 

Good Camping Recipes

Dear George,

Aside from microwaving Lean Cuisines and tossing salads with iceberg lettuce, I don’t do much cooking at home.  When I go camping though, I carefully pick and prepare a menu from the many dozens of camping recipes that I’ve accumulated over the years.  As a contribution to the public well-being, I describe a few of my favorites here.

Love,

Dave

BREAKFAST

Breakfast Hash (serves 4)

Ingredients:

3-4 medium potatoes, diced

1 package sausage links, diced 

1 medium onion, chopped 

1 cup sliced mushrooms

1 cup diced red, green, yellow pepper 

8 eggs, beaten 

1 1/2 - 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

How to prepare:

Cook the potatoes in a buttered skillet for about ten minutes.  Then add the sausage, Onion, mushroom, and pepper.  Cook until the potatoes are cooked through.  Pour in the beaten eggs, and cook until the eggs are done.  Top with shredded cheese, and let it melt.  (Note: the various vegetables are optional.  Crumbled fried bacon can be substituted for sausage links.)  

Cheeseburger Breakfast (serves 2)

Ingredients: 

2 Hamburger patties 

6 eggs 

Shredded cheese

Salt and pepper 

How to Prepare: 

Fry the hamburger patties, and then set them aside.  Scramble the eggs in the hamburger grease.  While the eggs are cooking, cut the burger patties into bite sized pieces.  When the eggs are done, remove from heat, add the burger pieces and cheese, and let sit for a minute or two till the cheese is melted.  Add salt and pepper.  

Grilled Breakfast Sandwich (serves two)

Ingredients: 

4  eggs 

1/4 cup milk 

2 - 4  slices of Black Forest Ham 

2 - 4  slices of cheddar or American cheese 

4 - 6  slices of white bread 

Maple syrup 

How to Prepare: 

Beat the eggs, pour in milk, and mix together.  Dip bread in the mixture and cook both sides until golden.  Add one slice of cheese and one slice of ham between two slices of the cooked bread.  Serve with maple syrup.  

LUNCH OR SUPPER

Ground Beef Stroganoff  (serves 4)

Ingredients: 

1 pound ground beef 

1 small onion, finely chopped 

1 can cream of mushroom soup 

1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce 

black pepper, to taste 

granulated garlic, to taste 

cooked noodles 

How to Prepare:  

Brown meat in saute pan. Discard fat. Add chopped onions and cook until transparent. Add cream of mushroom soup (but no water), Worcestershire sauce, black pepper, and garlic. Simmer. Serve over cooked noodles.  (Note: can substitute sliced chicken breasts for ground beef.)     

Skillet Scramble (serves 4)

Ingredients: 

1 lb ground beef (or ground sausage, ground turkey, etc.)

1 medium bell pepper 

1 medium red pepper 

1 medium onion 

3 medium tomatoes 

6 large eggs 

1/2 cup shredded cheese (or 4 slices work) 

Salsa

Salt, pepper 

How to Prepare: 

Brown meat, onion, pepper, tomatoes, and seasonings. Drain.  Add eggs and scramble all together until eggs are done. Take off heat and add cheese on top to melt.  Serve with salsa on the side (optional).  

Fried Fish Fillets with Lemon Mustard Butter  (serves 4) 

Ingredients: 

4 medium sized fish fillets (e.g., trout)

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/3 cup milk

1/2 cup flour

3 tablespoons oil

5 tablespoons butter

2 1/2 teaspoons French style mustard

1 teaspoon parsley flakes

2 tablespoons lemon juice 

How to Prepare: 

 Mix the salt and milk together. Dip each fillet in the mixture, then roll in flour. Heat the oil and 3 tablespoons of the butter in a large skillet or pan. Fry the fish until they are tender and crispy. Remove fish from the pan and keep warm.  Quickly stir the mustard, the remaining butter, and the parsley flakes into the butter in the pan. Add the lemon juice, bring to a boil, and pour the hot lemon-mustard butter over the fish.

Quick & Easy Chicken Stir Fry (serves 2) 

Ingredients: 

Rice (or noodles, pasta)

Chicken (or sausage, bacon, etc.) 

Assorted vegetables (e.g., peppers, onions, mushrooms, beans, carrots, broccoli)

Pasta sauce (or curry sauce, Chinese sauce, etc.)  

How to Prepare: 

Cut up the meat and put it in a heated pan with a little oil.  Once the meat has browned,  add the chopped vegetables.  Stir fry, then add 

a jar of pasta sauce.  Serve with rice or noodles.

2016: Year's End (A Bit Belated)

Dear George,

Aside from various national and international catastrophes, we had an up and down year in 2016 in our household.  The most memorable event occurred in early April when a pipe burst in our second-floor bathroom while we were out for the day and flooded our kitchen, dining room, and half of our basement.  Fortunately our insurance covered the $40 thousand restoration costs, but it took a full six months from start to finish and was thoroughly stressful.  We emptied the first floor of our house and lived like captives on the second floor.  We have been back to normal for several months, but it left us with an unpleasant feeling of vulnerability.  

This also was the first year that we’ve been without our beloved sheepdogs, Mike and Duffy.  I’d say we’ve gotten past the grieving stage, but the loss of the dogs has left a big hole in our lives.  They were a great source of pleasure and affection, and they were an important emotional focus that Katja and I shared with one another.  When the vet’s office called to offer us a pair of labradoodles, our hearts skipped a beat, but then we thought better of it.   

One of the year’s highlights was our early August trip to a family get-together at my parents’ Farm in Birch Creek (just north of Menominee).  Our son J, daughter-in-law K, and grandkids L and V had flown up from New Orleans, and our niece Jessica had brought her one-year-old twins, Maya and Peter, up from Detroit.  The Seattle contingent included Greg, who manages Farm, and Jennifer and Win and their sweet kids, Vincent (13) and Ingrid (9).  Our cousins, Ann and John B., who live in the Twin Cities, also joined us several times.  Katja and I stayed at Bob and Lois A.’s wonderful house on the Green Bay shore.  As always, our visit to Menominee had a comfortable, nostalgic feeling.  We enjoyed meals at Schloegels, Jozwiak’s, The Waterfront, the Rail House, Culver’s, and the Wild North Tavern, as well as an enjoyable visit to the DeYoung Family Zoo in nearby Wallace.  

Much to my surprise, Katja said she’d like to take a camping trip through the Upper Peninsula after our Menominee visit, and we headed up for Munising where we enjoyed the Pictured Rocks sunset cruise (highly recommended).  We followed that up with a boat trip through the Soo Locks at Sault Ste. Marie.  After a stint in St. Ignace and a trip across the Mackinac Bridge, we drove down the Lake Michigan — Petoskey, Charlevoix, Traverse City, Manistee, Muskegon, and others.  We’ve done that trip several times in recent years, and it’s always a treat.  Katja was a hardy camper, even though her air mattress kept going flat.  

I had bought a pair of hearing aids at the big box store just before leaving for Menominee, and, just my luck, I lost one in the forest on our first day of camping.  Because the store guaranteed one free replacement, it wasn’t a complete disaster, but it left me feeling nervous and guilty.  I’m not a completely enthusiastic user.  According to available research, they correct about 25% of hearing loss (but that leaves an annoying 75% to struggle with).  Katja had nagged me for several years to get hearing aids, and one of their best benefits is that they reduce about 80% of spousal complaining.  

Katja and I have reached an age where hearing losses are among the more manageable health disasters possible.  Two of my friends from work died in 2016, as did several of my high school classmates, and too many of our friends and acquaintances have struggled with dire, distressing health problems.  We have been fortunate to date, but I keep my fingers crossed and spend more time at the fitness center than I otherwise would.

For me, the worst part of 2016 was Trump’s nomination, election, and post-election actions.  We’d followed the primary season closely, and I was initially pleased with Trump’s selection since it seemed to guarantee a Hillary Clinton victory.  That, of course, didn’t work out.  My personal (admittedly subjective) opinion is that Trump has irretrievably damaged America’s standing in the world in his first two weeks, and it’s difficult to project how much more destruction he’ll cause.  My worst fantasy is that I’ll spend the remainder of my life in complete misery from a Trump presidency.  

On a cheerier note, we celebrated Xmas with our friends the Minkarahs and then flew down to New Orleans to join our family.  Our grandchildren turned eight in September and are wonderful kids, bright and spirited.  I can’t think of a happier way to wind up the year.  

Katja and I did a number of OLLI classes in 2016, my favorite being poetry writing.  We celebrated birthday dinners at the Chart House and Jean Robert’s Table.  We’ve taken in lots of music (symphony, opera, chamber music, musical theater) and art exhibits (Cincy Art Museum, Taft).  Though we’re not sophisticated fans, we watched lots of Bengals and Packers games, as well as all the Grand Slam tennis tournaments.  I do line dancing on Tuesday nights, Dayton flea markets throughout the year, lots of TV offerings (e.g., Ray Donovan, Homeland), and Katja, Donna, and I regularly go to Friday night movies.  All in all, our lives are punctuated by various pleasures, major and minor.  I hope 2017 will be still better for us all. 

Love,

Dave     

On the Road in Water Wonderland

At the Menominee Marina

Dear George,

Michigan is such a great state.  Along with the thousands of highway miles through untouched pine and cedar forests, residents and visitors continually find themselves next-door to  sizeable, gorgeous bodies of water.  In addition to 2,400 miles of shoreline on four of the five Great Lakes (Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie), the state has over 11,000 inland lakes and 300 rivers.  Katja and I were reminded of this once again on our recent trip to a family gathering in Menominee, followed by camping across the U.P. and then several days down the Lake Michigan coast. 

We left Cincinnati on Tuesday, Aug. 9, drove up through Chicago, and stopped for a visit at the Packer Hall of Fame at Green Bay.  Katja and I got married just a few months before the Packers won their first NFL Championship under Vince Lombardi, and my parents took us to several games at Lambeau Field during the Packer's early Super Bowl years.  Being surrounded by all that legendary history brought tears to our eyes.  

Panorama in the Packers Hall of Fame

We arrived in Menominee on Wednesday afternoon and went directly to our family Farm in Birch Creek where our New Orleans, Seattle, and Detroit-based  group had already arrived (J & K, L, V; Greg; Jennifer & Win, Vincent, Ingrid; Jessica & her twin babes, Peter & Maya; as well as my cousins Ann and John who live in the twin cities).  After an evening of revelry, we joined our long-time friends, Bob and Lois A., at their wonderful house on the Green Bay shore where we would be staying.  Bob and Lois are gracious hosts, and we relished the opportunity to spend time with them. 

Farm was looking its best

V with a frog on her nose

Green Bay from the A's front yard

Menominee, as always, was a treat.  We visited Henes Park, the marina, the First Street historical district, the library and historical museum, all the local thrift shops, Friday-Saturday yard sales, and various shops and restaurants in the twin cities.  I abandoned my diet and enjoyed various delicacies at Berg's Landing (whitefish), Schloegel's (still more whitefish), Jozwiak's (two Wabashes), the Rail House Restaurant (Friday night fish fry), Culvers (repeat visits), the Downtown Ice Cream and Sandwich Shop, and The Wild North in Birch Creek ($1.25 cheeseburgers).  The highlight of our Menominee stay was a family trip to the DeYoung Family Zoo at Wallace in Menominee County, home to the largest number of big cats of any zoo in the Midwest.  

Zookeeper Carrie cuddles with a lion

V helps zookeeper Bud drive while L enjoys being a passenger

After sad goodbyes on Monday, we drove north to Munising, got a campground site along the Lake Superior shore, and enjoyed the Pictured Rocks sunset boat cruise.  The Pictured Rocks are among the U.P.'s most splendid tourist attractions.   There are fifteen miles of sandstone cliffs along the Lake Superior shore, up to 200 feet high and dating back 500 million years.  The cliff's elaborate multi-color designs result from iron, manganese, copper, and other minerals in the groundwater creating streaks down the face of the stone.  

Indian Head, Pictured Rocks

One of the cliff's many caves

On Tuesday we travelled to St. Ignace, got a two-night camping spot at the woodsy Straits State Park campground, and took a 3-hour boatride through the Soo Locks at Sault Ste. Marie.  Years ago we watched the locks traffic from an observation platform, but we'd never actually gone through them ourselves.  The locks, originally constructed in 1855, were built at the St. Mary River rapids which result from a 21-foot drop between Lake Superior and Lake Huron.  Ten thousand ships pass through the locks each year, and the 1,200-foot Poe Lock accommodates ocean-going super-freighters.    

On the dock for the Soo Boat Tour

Heading into the westbound lock

Thursday we crossed the Mackinac Bridge to the Lower Peninsula.  Five miles long, the Mackinac is the longest suspension bridge in the Western Hemisphere and the third longest in the world.  The bridge cost about $2 billion in today's dollars, five workmen died in its construction, 150 million vehicles had crossed the bridge by September 2009, high winds can cause it to sway up to 35 feet from its resting position, and it takes seven years to paint the bridge (as soon as it’s finished, they begin all over again).  The Straits are 250 feet deep at the bridge's center, and its towers rise 552 feet above water level.  We get nervous and excited each time we cross.

The Mackinac Bridge from our campground at St. Ignace

Lower Peninsula resort towns along the Lake Michigan coast are more fancy and upscale than the U.P.’s.  On Thursday we drove through Traverse City, then stopped in Petoskey (visiting the harbor and the historical museum) and Charlevoix (downtown sidewalk sales where I bought a Charlevoix hoodie for $7), before camping at Manistee and seeing "Captain Fantastic" at the old-timey Vogue Theater.  Friday we continued down the coast -- Ludington (the Lake Michigan dunes), Pentwater (antiques and art galleries), Muskegon (the Muskegon Art Museum, a small gem), and Grand Haven (art galleries and more sidewalk sales).  At Grand Haven we camped among the Norway pines at P.J. Hoffmeister State Park.  

The harbor at Petoskey

The waterway to Lake Michigan at Charlevoix 

The Grand River, Manistee 

The Lake Michigan shoreline, Ludington

Katja relaxes at P.J. Hoffmeister State Park, Grand Haven 

We'd planned to head east toward Ann Arbor on Saturday, but a severe weather forecast shortened our trip, and we headed directly south toward Cincinnati.  Heavy winds and rains, as well as tornado warnings, made driving hazardous in Indiana, and we settled for a motel room north of Indianapolis.  Katja was happy with our newfound luxury, and I enjoyed getting a good night's sleep too.  Before we knew it, we were back home, just in time to watch Andy Murray vs. Marin Cilic in the Western & Southern Open men’s final.  

Here are some things that I take away from our two weeks on the road: 

·       We are lucky to still have a U.P. family property for annual gatherings (and my parents would be pleased and proud).

·       The little children make one optimistic about life and the future. 

·       Home towns arouse more memories than one can possibly assimilate. 

·       The air is much clearer in the Northland. 

·       Culver's has the best soft serve sundaes in the world (and good butter burgers too). 

·       The forest lowers one’s blood pressure.

·       I'm proud of Katja for being a good camper. 

·       It's possible to survive without immediate access to TV and the computer. 

·       I'm happy that I could still drive 2000 miles, annoyed that I took wrong turns a couple of times.

·       I wish we would see our family members (spread across the continent) more often than we do.

     

Love,

Dave