Burnet Woods on November 7, 2013

Dear George,

There’s a cartoon in today’s paper in which a wife asks her balding husband, “What’s the matter, Morris?,” and he replies, “I feel like I’m in the autumn of my life.”  Though she reassures him, that’s just how I was feeling today too.  I figure if I were to live to 90 (an optimistic projection since neither my parents nor my grandparents lived that long), as of today I’ve completed about 85% of my life.  If that were all condensed into a single year, 85% of a year would fall on November 7.  That’s today!  No wonder I’m feeling like Morris. 

In fact, our autumn life has been quite pleasurable of late.  The air’s cooler, which is especially good for the sheepdogs, and I think the air quality has improved.  I’m always in a better mood when the football season starts, particularly this year because of the Bengals’ rejuvenation to date, and now the college and pro basketball seasons are beginning as well.  I’ll go to games at the junior college down the street and am looking forward to it.  A lot of the year’s best movies come out in November and December to beat the deadline for Oscar nominations, and we’ve been enjoying some of the new fall TV lineup.  Halloween’s one of my favorite holidays of the year, and Thanksgiving is often a time when we get together with J and K and our grandkids.   Nearly all of our cultural subscriptions have started up their new seasons – chamber music, the symphony, the university music/theater series.  We’ll go to see Dracula this weekend at Covedale.  I’ve joined Katja in taking classes in the university’s “Learning in Retirement” program this fall, and that’s been interesting.  All in all, we have a busy and enjoyable schedule. 

Our nearby city park, Burnet Woods, keeps me aware of the changing seasons more than anyplace else.  It’s because it takes up two-thirds of the walk between our house and the university, and so I go through the woods several times a week.  Every season is beautiful there.  The winter because of the ice and snow, spring with the buds and wildflowers, a lush green summer, and now the colorful autumn leaves.  I stopped to take some photos on my way to the office today.  Autumn’s looking great in Burnet Woods, and life is good.

Love,

Dave

Out and About: Cincinnati Day Trips

Kentucky Horse Park, Lexington

Dear George,

Katja and I have lived in Cincinnati for almost two-thirds of our lives, so we’ve had ample opportunity to explore our surroundings in the Tri-State region.  I thought I would put together a list of day trips within two or three hours of the city.  Some of these are from our own experiences, others I obtained by schmoozing around on the Internet.  The resulting selections are just a small percent of those available and reflect my own interests and priorities.  We’ve gone to about 70% of these places over the years (those marked with an asterisk), and the rest are on our to-do list.  My all-time favorite is Mammoth Cave, an other-worldly underground experience, well worth the three-hour drive from Cincinnati. Yellow Springs, the home of our alma mater Antioch College, is the hippest destination and a relaxing place to spend a summer day, especially if you add in a hike in Glen Helen or Clifton Gorge.  Berea, KY, is another very attractive college town.  We’ve always enjoyed antiquing in Lebanon, Waynesville, and Madison, Ind.  The outdoor antique shows at Burlington KY and Lawrenceburg IN are among the Midwest’s biggest.   In my opinion, the best regional camping places are Red River Gorge in Kentucky and Hocking Hills State Park in south central Ohio.  Kings Island, closer to home, is pretty exciting with kids or grandkids.  The Lexington Horse Park is one of our favorite trips to take with visitors.  Dayton, Louisville, Lexington, Indianapolis, and Columbus are big-city destinations with multiple attractions.  Our secret guilty desire is to go to the nearby Creation Museum in Petersburg and peek at their biblical interpretation of evolution.  Probably we’ll go to the Pyramid Hill Sculpture Park in Hamilton or the Air Force Museum at Wright-Patterson first though.

Love,

Dave  

Dayton Art Museum

OHIO

Mason, OH (26 mi.): Kings Island Amusement Park*

Hamilton, OH (31 mi.): Pyramid Hill Sculpture Park

Lebanon, OH (32 mi.): antique stores and malls, shops, Golden Lamb Restaurant*

Georgetown, OH (35 mi.): U.S. Grant’s birthplace, downtown historic district*

Waynesville, OH (41 mi.): town of antiques*

Oxford, OH (41 mi.): Miami University campus, shopping district, swimming beach at Hueston Woods statepark*

Dayton, OH (56 mi.): Art Museum, Montgomery Fairgrounds antique/flea market, good thrift shops*

Yellow Springs, OH (64 mi.): shops, dining, Antioch campus, Clifton Gorge & Glen Helen*

Fairborn, OH; Wright Patterson Air Force Base (67 mi.): United States Air Force Museum

Adams County, OH, “Edge of Appalachia” (80 mi.): nature preserve, hiking trails

Greenville, OH (95 mi.): Garst Museum (national Annie Oakley Center), shops, dining

Columbus, OH (106 mi.): Ohio State University, Museum of Art, Franklin Park Conservatory, zoo, German Village, Ohio Historical Center*

Portsmouth, OH (104 mi.): antiques, historic murals, Southern Ohio Museum

Wapakoneta, OH (110 mi.): Neil Armstrong Air and Space Museum

Louden, OH; Serpent Mound and Museum (124 mi.): prehistoric earthwork

Hocking Hills State Park, Logan, OH (138 mi.): hiking, camping, rock climbing*

Red River Gorge, Kentucky

KENTUCKY

Burlington, KY (17 mi.): one of the Midwest’s largest outdoor antique shows (3rd Sundays in season)*

Petersburg, KY (26 mi.): Creation Museum (offering a biblical account of the universe’s origins)

Pleasant Hill, KY (30 mi.): Shaker village, antiques

Maysville, KY (61 mi.): antiques*

Harrison County, KY (62 mi.): Quiet Trails Nature Preserve, hiking

Lexington, KY (84 mi.): Kentucky Horse Park*

Louisville, KY (100 mi.): Louisville Slugger Museum, KY Derby Museum, antiques*

Berea, KY (120 mi.): Berea college campus, Berea Inn, antiques and shops*

Stanton, KY; Red River Gorge, KY (133 mi.): hiking, camping*

Hodgenville, KY (153 mi.):  Abraham Lincoln’s birthplace

Bardstown, KY (160 mi.): My Old Kentucky Home State Park, antiques

Mammoth Cave, KY (192 mi.); Mammoth Cave National Park, cave tour*

Downtown Madison, Indiana

INDIANA

Lawrenceburg, IN (28 mi.): monthly Tri-State outdoor antique show (first Sundays in season)*

Aurora, IN (31 mi.): antique shops, down-home eateries, historic neighborhoods*

Metamora, IN (49 mi.): antiques, kitschy gift shops*

Madison, IN (71 mi.): Clifty Falls State Park, hiking, camping, antiques*

Columbus, IN (90 mi.):  architecture and garden tours*

Indianapolis, IN (109 mi.): Art Museum, Children’s Museum, Speedway Hall of Fame Museum*

Nashville, IN (111 mi.): artist colony, art galleries, shops, antiques, camping* 

* * *

G-Mail Comments

-Linda C (11-18):  I plan to visit  Wright  Patterson in near future, my uncle died in storm at Patterson shortly after Japanese bombed pearl harbor , he was an ari l nautical engineer. Died on small plane in snowstorm  in Dayton after taking big plane to CA and coming back in snow storm in Dayton…   love grandparent in law

-Gayle C-L (11-4): David,  Awesome  Photos ::))

A Halloween Camping Tale

Duffy and Mike on the national forest trail

Dear George,

I always think of Halloween as marking the end of the camping season.  Years ago I read on the Internet that you shouldn’t take your dogs camping if the temperature falls below thirty-five degrees, and I follow that advice faithfully.  Our nighttime temperatures in November usually dip into the low thirties or below, so I store away my gear for the duration.  All those things were on my mind on a recent Halloween when I decided to take the sheepdogs on an overnight outing to the national forest campground.  We arrived just before noon.  By late October practically nobody’s there on weekdays, so we had our choice of campsites.  I picked my favorite spot which is at the end of the loop, set back from the road, spacious, and separated from other sites.  I needn’t have worried.  There were only two RVs at the campground when we arrived, and both had left by the time I’d set up my tent.  I normally prefer to have at least a few other people on the campground, but it was exciting to be by ourselves – like really being out in the wilderness.

Mike, Duffy, and I enjoyed a relaxing afternoon.  We went for a hike, and I took some photos of the autumn foliage.  The dogs napped in their playpen while I turned on the radio and listened to country music.  I wrote a couple of drafts for my blog and read some chapters from a Lewis Grizzard book that I’d bought at the library used book sale.  For dinner I had cheeseburgers and spinach and topped it off with two glasses of Charles Shaw merlot.  It gets dark very early, of course.  I’d just barely washed the dishes as the sun finished setting.  I made a rousing campfire in the fire pit.  The damp pine branches spit off lots of sparks.  The minute it gets dark Mike and Duffy are eager to go in the tent, and so after half an hour I took a sleeping pill and we retired.  I’d brought along a queen-sized air mattress for the dogs, and I got into my own down sleeping bag.  I put on a wool knit cap to help keep warm in the chilly night air.

It took a while to get to sleep, but I finally managed. It must have been about midnight when I was wakened by a loud roaring noise that seemed to be getting closer to us.  At first it sounded like jet airplanes, but then I realized it was motorcycle engines.  I slipped on my shoes, got out of the tent, and zipped the door shut with the dogs inside.  There were three guys on Harley Davidsons, apparently out cruising around on Halloween night.  They’d gotten off their cycles right in front of my campsite.  They wore black leather jackets and had long greasy hair and beards.  One sported an ugly tattoo on his neck.  They’d definitely been drinking.  The most heavyset guy, who I took to be the leader, said something in a surly voice, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying.  “What?” I asked.  He stepped forward and shoved me in the chest.  It dawned on me that they wanted money.  My wallet was in the tent, and frankly I was scared out of my wits for the dogs and for myself.  I told the guy I would get my wallet.

Just as I was going back to the tent, I saw out of the corner of my eye a cluster of blurry figures walking slowly toward us on the road.  The motorcycle guys saw them too, and, as the figures got closer, it became clear that it was a group of women.  They were all dressed in identical black ankle-length costumes of some sort.  One of the women, taller than the others, said something to the motorcycle gang leader.  I couldn’t hear what she said, but the motorcycle guy looked intimidated.  He beckoned to his companions, and, within seconds, they’d gotten back on their bikes and were heading out of the campground.

I didn’t know it at that moment, but it turns out that a coven of witches from the surrounding rural area hold their annual sacred rites in the national forest every Halloween eve.  They’d just completed a ritual in which they’d used ancient incantations to call forth dead corpses from the old cemetery outside the park.  A troop of zombies and ghouls had been following them on the campground road, and now this horde of monsters had caught up with the witches at my campsite.  Dozens and dozens.  They were dressed in tattered, bedraggled clothing, with flesh hanging off their faces and limbs and their tongues hanging out the sides of their mouths.  The zombies were awkwardly shuffling along in unison, holding their arms out in front of them.  The ones in front were looking straight at me.  It dawned on me that they were searching for flesh to eat, probably human flesh, maybe humans and dogs.  The first zombies were only yards away when I got a sudden, desperate idea.  I took a few steps to my campground table and flicked on my radio.  Reba McEntire was singing “The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia.”  I stared the zombies in the eye, then launched into my best Electric Slide line dance routine.   It was just intuition on my part, but it turned out to be inspired.  In no time at all, the zombies started following my lead and doing the Electric Slide.  They did it perfectly.  I don’t know whether they’d learned it during their previous human lives, or whether it’s just something that comes naturally to zombies.  After the Electric Slide, we went on and on. We did Swamp Thang, the Watermelon Crawl,  Cajun Cross, Tush Push, the Mambo Shuffle, Booty Call, Cotton Eyed Joe, and a host of other dances.  The witches joined in too, and everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives.  The hours passed quickly until the first glimmer of sunrise appeared on the horizon.  All of the zombies abruptly turned around and began shuffling back to the cemetery.  We’d made it through the long dark night. 

Zombies doing the Electric Slide

By then the witches and I were on a first name basis.  My impression is they’d had their most enjoyable satanic get-together of the new millenium.  In fact, they invited me to be an honorary member and line-dancing captain in their coven.  I said I was honored and that I would be back again next Halloween. Then the witches melted away into the forest.  I went back to the tent.  Mike and Duffy had slept through everything.  I didn’t mention anything about the night’s events.  I made some breakfast, packed up our gear, and we headed back for the city.  I couldn’t wait to tell Katja about our amazing Halloween adventure.  She would be happy that we’d gotten back safely. 

Love,

Dave

P.S.  You might be wondering if this is a true story.  It’s definitely true in some number of the details, and I found that, in the process of revising it, it got truer and truer as I went along.  What I know for sure is that it’s also what popped into mind when I thought about taking the dogs camping by myself this very Halloween night.  

Cincinnati Election Endorsements

Mayoral candidates John Cranley and Roxanne Qualls debate

Dear George,

This is an important election year in Cincinnati.  The city is picking a new mayor at the end of Mark Mallory’s eight years in office.  All of the nine City Council seats are up for grabs, and this year council terms are changing from two years to four years, so the election has more enduring consequences than usual.  Also there are important local issues.

For the first time that I can remember there isn’t any Republican candidate running for mayor.  Instead two Democrats are running against one another: Roxanne Qualls and John Cranley.  Both have long records of public service in Cincinnati, and both have served on City Council in the past.  Additionally, Roxanne Qualls was mayor of Cincinnati from 1993 to 1999.  Their past voting records are very similar.  This year, however, they have taken opposite positions on two issues: building a downtown streetcar and leasing city parking to a private firm.  Qualls supports both; Cranley opposes both.  By and large, Qualls tends to be seen as a more liberal Democrat; Cranley as a more conservative Democrat.  It appears to be a very close race.  Cranley has a lead in fund raising by about $300,000.  In past elections both have received very similar numbers of votes.  Cranley won this year’s mayoral primary handily, though only 6% of the electorate voted.

In picking among candidates I pay lots of attention to endorsements.  Below are the two mayoral candidates, with occupation and party affiliation given in parentheses, followed by endorsements, mainly as reported by the League of Women Voters (www.smartvote.com).   Cincinnati Enquirer endorsements (www.cincinnati.com) are from the city’s major, Republican-oriented newspaper, while City Beat (www.citybeat.com) is a more progressive, alternative weekly paper.  A candidate’s total number of endorsements is reported at the end of their list in parentheses.  In calculating totals here and below I’ve assigned a single point for one or more labor union endorsements, one point for one or more women’s group endorsements, and one for one or more gay rights group endorsements.        

Candidates for the Mayor of Cincinnati:

• Roxanne Qualls (Vice Mayor and realtor; Democrat): City Beat, Sierra Club, Equality Ohio (gay rights organization), Cincinnati Women's Political Caucus, NOW Cincinnati, Emily's List (supports pro-choice Democratic women), 5 labor unions, and 4 former NAACP Presidents  (6)
• John Cranley (attorney; Democrat): Cincinnati Enquirer, Cincinnati Area Board of Realtors; former Mayor Charlie Luken; State Representative Alicia Reese, COAST (anti-tax, anti-spending group)  (5)

Cincinnati City Council

When we moved to Cincinnati, it seemed like there was often a Republican majority on the nine-member City Council.  That’s changed dramatically over the decades, and for the last two years there’s only been a single Republican councilman. Cincinnati politics are also interesting because of the presence of the Charter Party, a minority third party which began as a reform movement in the 1920’s.  The Charterites are usually allied with liberal Democrats.  The Charter Party reached its peak in the 1950s, but has had only one or two members on Council over the last couple of decades.  This year there are ten Council candidates endorsed by the Democrats, four by Republicans, two by the Charter Party (as well as their endorsement of two Democrats), and four running as independents.  The council candidates are listed below by party and ordered within each party by number of endorsements.   

Candidates for City Council (9 to be elected)

Democrats

• Chris Seelbach (Council incumbent; president, financial services org.): Dem. Party, City Beat, Equality Cincinnati & Equality Ohio, David Crowley Legacy Fund, Sierra Club, Cinc. Federation of Teachers, AFL-CIO, 10 other unions  (7)
• Michelle Dillingham (previous legislative aide): Dem. Party, City Beat, Nat. Assoc. of Social Workers, Cinc. Fed. of Teachers, AFL-CIO, 11 other unions, Cinc. Women's Political Caucus, Equality Cincinnati & Equality Ohio  (7)
• P.G. Sittenfeld (incumbent; Asst. Dir., Community Learning Center Institute): Dem. Party, Cinc. Enquirer, City Beat, Sierra Club, Cinc. Fed. of Teachers, Equality Cincinnati (6)
• Greg Landsman (executive director of educational consortium): Dem. Party, Charter Party, Cinc. Enquirer, City Beat, Cinc. Fed. of Teachers, Equality Cincinnati & Equality Ohio (6)
• Wendell Young (incumbent; police officer): Dem. Party, Cinc. Enquirer, City Beat, Cinc. Fed. of Teachers,  AFL-CIO, Equality Cincinnati (6)
• Laure Quinlivan (incumbent; former news reporter): Dem. Party, Cinc. Enquirer, City Beat, Sierra Club, Equality PAC  (5) 
• Pam Thomas(incumbent; previous court bailiff, manager, school ombudsman): Dem. Party, Cinc. Women's Political Caucus, Sierra Club, Cinc. Fed. of Teachers, AFL-CIO, 8 other unions (5)
• David Mann (lawyer; prior mayor, congressman): Dem. Party, Cinc. Enquirer, Cinc. Fed. of Teachers,  AFL-CIO, 9 other unions, Equality Cincinnati  (5)
• Yvette Simpson (incumbent; lawyer): Dem. Party, Cinc. Enquirer, City Beat, Cinc. Fed. of Teachers  (4)
• Shawn Butler (director of community affairs, Cincy): Dem. Party  (1)

Charter Party

• Kevin Flynn (real estate attorney and law professor): Charter Party, Cinc. Enquirer, Cinc. Board of Realtors, Home Builders Assoc., Cinc. Firefighters, Cinc. Police (6)
• Vanessa White (Cinc. Board of Education): Charter Party, Cinc. Enquirer, Cincinnati Women's Political Caucus, Sierra Club (4)

Republicans

• Charlie Winburn (incumbent: government and business management): Rep. Party, Fraternal Order of Police, Cinc. Fire Fighters, Cinc. Area Board of Realtors, COAST (5)
• Amy Murray (former Council member, small business owner): Rep. Party, Cinc. Enquirer, COAST (3)
• Sam Malone (former Council member, President of Urban Strategies and Solutions): Rep. Party
• Melissa Wegman (businesswoman): Rep. Party

Independents

• Chris Smitherman (independent) (incumbent; NAACP President): Fraternal Order of Police, IBEW Local 212, Hamilton County Green Party, COAST (4)
• Mike Moroski (independent) (school administration): City Beat, 2 unions, Equality Cincinnati (3)
• Angela Beamon (independent) (financial adviser): no endorsements located
• Tim Dornbusch (independent) (head of plumbing and electrical co.): no endorsements located
• Kevin Johnson (independent) (cleaning co. owner): no endorsements located

Member of the Cincinnati Board of Education (4 to be elected)

The Cincinnati school board election is important this year because there are four positions open on the nine-member board, and only one incumbent (Melanie Bates) is running for re-election.  Most of the candidates are Democrats or Charterites, and I didn't run across anybody identified as a Republican.  One observer notes that this is a particularly well-qualified slate, and, contrary to other recent elections, nobody running is an opponent of the public schools.   The candidates here are listed in order by number of endorsements. 

• Melanie Bates (incumbent; hospital development liaison): Dem. Party, Charter Committee, Cincinnati Enquirer, Cinc. Federation of Teachers, Cinc. AFL-CIO, Equality Cincinnati (6)
• Betsy Shank (retired teacher): Dem. Party, City Beat, Cinc. Federation of Teachers, Cinc. AFL-CIO, Cinc. Women’s Political Caucus, Equality Cincinnati (6)
• Marcial A. Futel (financial services professional): Dem. Party, Cincinnati Enquirer, Cinc. Federation of Teachers, Cinc. AFL-CIO (4)
• Daniel Minera (Pastor, Amigo Ministries): Dem. Party, Cinc. Federation of Teachers, Cinc. AFL-CIO, Cinc. Federation of Office Professionals (4)
• Elisa Hoffman (Director, education nonprofit; recruiter, Teach for America): Charter Committee, Cincinnati Enquirer, Equality Cincinnati  (3)
• Martha Good (attorney and adjunct law professor): City Beat, Cinc. Women’s Political Caucus, Progressive Majority (national PAC that supports progressive politicians)  (3)
• Ericka Copeland-Dansby (Development Director for Boys and Girls Clubs of Cinc.): Charter Committee, Cincinnati Enquirer, Equality Cincinnati (3)
• Sally O’Callaghan (former teacher): Charter Committee, City Beat  (2)
• Victoria Straughn (clinical studies assistant, UC): no endorsements located

Local Issues

There are three local issues of import for the city of Cincinnati.  Seemingly almost all media sources, political groups, and public figures endorse Issues 1 and 2, renewal of levies for the public library and the Cincinnati Zoo respectively (neither of which would result in a tax increase).  Conversely, most parties call for a NO vote on Issue 4 (described below):

• Issue 1: Renewal of a ten-year levy for the Cincinnati and Hamlton County Library
• Issue 2: Renewal of a five-year levy for the Cincinati Zoo
• Issue 4: "Pension reform"

Issue 4 proposes a city charter amendment that would semi-privatize Cincinnati's pension system.  It's backed by Tea Party groups, and their campaign is funded almost entirely by groups outside the Cincinnati metro area and occasionally outside the state.  Despite a troubled pension system, all of the credible source that I've run across, including Republican, Democratic, Charter, and independent City Council candidates, urge voting AGAINST issue 4, saying that it would result in massive service cuts in the city and/or significant tax increases.

When we first came to Cincinnati, almost nobody we voted for would ever get elected.  Now I anticipate that most candidates I vote for will get elected.  I guess that means either that I’ve changed or the city has changed.  I think it’s the latter.  That’s pleasing to me.

Love,

Dave 

Dancing Ups and Downs*

Dear George,

I’m just crazy about line dancing.  This week is the four-year anniversary of my joining my Tuesday night class at the fitness center.  Only one other person, Evelyn, has been there that long.  Katja and our friend Donna started out with me.  However, Katja discontinued to have knee surgery, and Donna, who’s an excellent dancer, decided line dancing was too repetitive and stopped going too.  I myself, though, become more infatuated with line dancing every week.  The music is really good, from country to boogie woogie to hip hop.  We’ve learned over a hundred different dance numbers since the class began.  While each routine is distinctive, they tend to be different combinations of the same basic set of steps.  So, while learning new dances is always demanding mentally, you can become proficient in a short time.  When things are going well I find myself “in the zone”, merging with the music without having to think about the dance steps at all.  That’s the best.  

Recently I signed up for a second line dancing class that’s held on Monday nights at a school out in the suburbs.  With sixty or seventy students, it’s about four times as large as my Tuesday night class.  About 90% of the participants are women.   I don’t know why line dancing draws more women than men, but it seems to do so.  Maybe women like dancing by themselves in a group situation more.  Sometimes I feel a little odd about being a token male.  Last week I was the only man there for the first ten minutes.  Finally one other guy arrived, and I relaxed.  I do like this big class a lot.  There’s so many people that you can get lost in the crowd, and you feel like you’re part of a big, anonymous, cohesive conglomeration.

Thinking I should expand my repertoire, I suggested to Katja that we enroll in a ballroom dance class that a local dance studio was advertising.  We’d taken lessons there once before and enjoyed them, so she readily agreed.  Two male students (a guy named Rex and myself) and fifteen women showed up for the first class, not an ideal gender balance for couple dancing. The head instructor, Jean Ann, took the male role in dancing with female class members, and her assistant Richard also participated.  Nonetheless, ten of the women dropped out by the time of the second class, so we were down to more balanced numbers.

I was doing o.k. until we began learning the rumba in session two.  The class operates by switching partners every few minutes.  Shortly into the class period I got paired with a petite, red-haired woman named Arlene.  I’d already decided Arlene was the best dancer in the class, especially on the rumba.  We’d danced for about ten seconds when she told me in a stern voice that I wasn’t holding her hand firmly enough.  I think I’d been being timid, trying to avoid contact with female strangers.  I tried to correct my grip but she admonished me again and said she was going to push hard on my hand if I couldn’t push on hers.  She did push hard, and then it was time to change partners.  Fifteen minutes later Arlene and I were about to be paired up again.  However, she turned to the woman next to her and said, “I don’t want to dance with him.  You dance with him.”  The other woman, Sally, gave her a strange look but did join me.  Sally smiled throughout and I thought we were doing better.  Near the end of class Arlene and I got paired together one more time.  When the song reached its conclusion, I said, “That was good.”  Arlene looked me dead in the eye and said, “That was not good.  There wasn’t a single thing about that that was good.”  Taken aback, I thanked Arlene and moved away.  Jean Ann came up and said that sometimes men can have trouble with rhythm.  She asked me two times if I was able to hear the music.  I said I heard it all right, though, given my less than perfect hearing, I was suddenly not so sure.   Jean Ann danced with me for a minute or two, repeating “Slow quick-quick, slow quick-quick” until I finally started moving to the beat.  Even though Katja told me as we left that I was doing fine, I felt terrible all the way home.  My new dancer self-image was wobbly, to say the least.   

At the beginning of the next week’s class Arlene went out of her way to be pleasant, apparently trying to make up for her prior abruptness.  I, on the other hand, responded by groveling.  I said that I was a beginner, I’d never danced before, and I didn’t know anything.  I said that I would appreciate any tips Arlene might have and that I would try to do my best.  Arlene commented that Rex, the other male student, was taking the class for the fourth time, implying that I shouldn’t feel bad about being so much worse than him.  Jean Ann began teaching us some still more complicated rumba steps, and, flustered and self-conscious from the outset, I struggled the whole time.  At the end of the class Jean Ann asked how we all were doing, and I said, “I got a C minus at best.” Jean Ann said, “Oh no, you are definitely improving.”  However, we both knew that wasn’t true. 

Despite my fantasies and dreams, it looks like I’m not cut out for a professional dance career.  When Donna discontinued line dancing, she said ballroom dancing is a lot more fun because coordinating with a partner is more challenging.  I believe the challenging part, for sure.  Katja and I will stick with our ballroom dancing class for another month, but now I’m clear where my heart lies.  In line dancing you can be as awkward as you like, and nobody every criticizes anybody.  I don’t think anybody even notices.  That seems like an ideal arrangement.  I’m eager for Monday night to roll around.

Love,

Dave

 

*Pseudonyms used in this story.  

G-mail Comments

-Phyllis S-S (10-27):  Wow!  Arlene is taking this way too seriously.  Hey Arlene, try to have some fun.

-JML (10-25):  K*** says: tell your dad that it doesn't matter that Arlene tried to make it up to you. She is a b....h and if I ever meet her I'm gonna kick her ass.  I have nothing to add to this except that I really enjoyed this blog