Dear George,
A friend of mine occasionally
claims I’m a master of the art of denial.
That’s so untrue.
Like everybody else, I do reject most ideas when they don’t fit my preconceptions. However, I’m in crystal clear contact
with reality the rest of the time.
A good example is the topic
of aging. Fifteen years ago (as I
was turning sixty) I remarked to one of my psychology colleagues that I was
starting to show some signs of middle age. He looked at me sort of funny and said that it had been a
long time since I’d seen middle age.
That was a new (and troubling) idea, and I gave the matter some serious
thought. Eventually I concluded
that my colleague was confused.
Life stages are slippery, and it’s not simply a matter of some objective
number of years. The difference
between one life stage and the next, e.g., middle age and old age, has less to
do with how long you’ve lived, more to do with qualitative changes in mind,
body, and behavior. As they say,
you’re only as old as you’d like to be.
To get a better handle on
exactly where I am in the life course, I designed an objective test which
measures whether one has entered “old age”. The ten items (with a yes-no response format) are as
follows:
·
Do you have more trouble
climbing the stairs?
·
Do you usually wear
Depends when going out for pizza?
·
Do your children subtly
hint that you should move to a nursing home?
·
Do you have a pacemaker?
·
Do you wear a hearing aid
(or two)?
·
Do you regularly lose
your car keys, credit cards, and toothbrush?
·
Are you too creaky to get
out of bed on Tuesdays and Wednesdays?
·
Are you afraid to leave
the house because of your fear of germs on doorknobs?
·
Do you forget family
members’ telephone numbers (and/or their names)?
·
Do strangers on the
street stop you and ask if you’re all right?
Assigning a 1 for “Yes” and a
0 for “No”, I figure that a score of 3 means you’re on the cusp of old age, and
a 7 confirms it. For myself, I
wound up with a score of zero.
That was exactly the same score as if I’d taken the test 40 years
ago. The implication seems
obvious. I’m functioning at the
same level now as when I was 35 (e.g., mildly confused then; mildly confused
now). After several years of
working out at the gym, my muscle tone seems about the same. And I don’t seem to be any more subject
to illnesses or physical maladies than I used to be. So I guess not only are we living longer these days, but
middle age apparently lasts two or three times as long as it used to.
Just like everything else, it
makes sense to think of one’s life as having a beginning, a middle, and an
end. The beginning lasts up to
somewhere around early adolescence, about the time that males start to get the
first signs of fuzz on their cheeks.
The end stage varies dramatically, depending on whether one has begun
the process of ending or not. And
all the rest of it is the middle.
Sometimes the middle can go on practically forever. For myself, I’d have
to conclude (as my objective test results prove) that I’m still in the midst of
middle-age. Maybe it’s best to
think of it as late middle age, but it’s middle age nonetheless. This also seems to be true for most of
my relatives and friends.
I’m going to explain this to my friend who has the mistaken impression
that I’m prone to denial. I think
my careful reasoning will demonstrate that I’m in excellent touch with the
facts.
Love,
Dave
G-mail Comments
-Linda C (1-20): David.
Mine was 0 also, when I told a doctor ( not the ones we know) that I did not
take the revived up super flu vaccine he asked me why I didn't chose
it. I said no need since I don't
feel like I am immune depressed.
He suggested, nicely , that next year I should take super dose because
even tho I felt good I was with out a doubt on my way to being immune suppressed
because of age, I call it immune depressed.I was not happy with his accusations
that I was immune suppressed. Did my research and sent immune depressing
article to you. I sent it to K and
J also but bet 50$ neither bother to read it. Have sent it to my friends my age and they are much more
interested. If you didn't get it
let me know. I am finding a
gerontologist In Ann arbor next week.
I think I need T cell assessment.
Hello to all love linda
-Donna D (1-20): Oh master
this is very interesting and factual. Your friend's reference however was
not one about age but other topics such as relationships, communication,
functioning. Enjoy late middle age! For you it is going to last a
long time. :)
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