Vic L. (standing at right) with his family (photo by Peter L., 1972)
Dear George,
Today’s a day to celebrate
fathers, and I’m always happy to do that.
Our family is full of good fathers. My brothers Steve and Peter and brother-in-law George were
loving fathers who took huge delight and pride in their kids and actively
contributed to their development and well-being. In turn, their sons and sons-in-laws are great fathers too:
Jason, Wynn, Jacob, Tim. I’m
thrilled to see our son J in his loving and playful role as father to our
grandkids, and I feel proud and happy about having been (and continuing to be)
J’s dad as well.
I often think of my own father,
Vic L., as larger than life. That
probably has to do in part with having been a kid in awe of the grownups who
were so significant to one’s life.
However our dad was a unique and exceptional person. Looking back, he had enormous
influences on my three siblings and myself. I look at our various life directions as powerfully shaped
by our father’s values and priorities.
In some ways each of us came to pattern ourselves after different values
and aspirations important to our father.
I think of Vic as epitomizing four major domains of values: (a) law; (b)
business/finance; (c) education; and (d) art. As a lawyer, he was deeply devoted to the law. He was also professionally engaged in
the business community and became very involved in the stock market and matters
of finance in later years. He had
great respect for education, stressed the importance of intellectual pursuits,
and was active in facilitating teachers’ work in the local public schools. And he had substantial lifelong
interests in the arts (painting, literature, music, photography, theater). Each of his children, as we developed,
made life choices which reflected different parts of my father’s values. We’ve all been Vic’s offspring, but
each of us responded to different themes.
Vic and Dave (circa 1939)
For myself, my father always
placed great emphasis on the importance of education and of my performance in
school. My parents scrimped and
saved to pay my way through Antioch College. Successful and rewarded in my various student roles, I wound
up selecting a career in academia, devoting forty-three years to work as a
university professor. When my dad
came to town and visited my social psychology lecture class, he was amazed to
see his quiet son pontificate about this and that for fifty minutes in a
row.
Vic and Steve (circa 1943)
If I reflected the
academic/intellectual side of my father’s values, my brother Steve pursued the
legal side. After a freshman year
of fraternity escapades at the University of Michigan, Steve transferred to
Northern Michigan where he became a serious student, then did Law School at
Wayne State where he edited the law review. Steve spent his career at a major law firm in Seattle, much
to the delight and respect of our dad, and they shared many professional
interests.
Peter’s birthday party (1950)
Peter had the most memorable
undergraduate career in our family, attending five or six colleges before he
graduated with a fine arts degree from Michigan State, reflecting another of
our dad’s major values. When art
didn’t offer the career opportunities that Peter desired, he underwent further
training for certification as a financial analyst. Peter had an outstanding career in finance, winding up as a
Senior Vice-President for Smith-Barney in New Jersey. Our father was enormously pleased and proud (and cultivated
Peter as a financial consultant).
Vicki with Doris (circa 1955)
My sister was the youngest,
and both my parents were thrilled to finally have a girl in the family. While my dad had lots of influence on
Vicki’s academic accomplishments, artistic activities, and a certain bohemian
temperament, I think she identified most strongly with our mother and adopted a
role more complementary to our father’s.
Thus, Vicki wound up, not only as a devoted mother herself, but as a
marriage and family therapist with professional interests centered on enhancing
families.
All of us kids are obviously
separate from and different from our father. However, if you put us all together collectively, it’s like we
form a combined portrait of our dad.
That’s sort of weird. While
my take on it may be a stretch, it is a reminder of the enormous influence that
fathers have on our lives. I wish
my dad were around today so I could talk about it with him.
Love,
Dave
G-mail Comments
-Gayle C-L
(6-16): David, HAPPY FATHERS DAY!
HOPE U HAD A GREAT DAY!!
LOVE. G
-Linda C
(6-16): And thank you for raising super dad in J***!
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