What Are Your Innermost Thoughts About the President?

Sara Huckabee Sanders, Press Secretary

What have I gotten myself into?

Defending my boss to the press 

He changes his mind every second

Sean warned me that this is a mess 

Rick Perry, Secretary of Energy

The Trumpster and I, we are good old boys

We’re true backers of oil and coal

We’ll soon be rid of wind and of solar 

To make the rich richer — our goal 

Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House

Like Tillerson said, he’s a moron

But this could be great for the House 

It means we can set the agenda 

That’s why I must act like a mouse 

Rudy Giuliani, Personal lawyer

The Donald and I are like peas in a pod

New Yorkers, we like to spout off

So many felonies I’m trying to hide

To his credit, he has a good coiffe

Sean Hannity, Political commentator

Thanks to the president, Fox News is now king

We’re so blessed he has no information 

He tunes in all day to our talk show hosts

So it’s Fox that is running the nation 

Betsy DeVos, Secretary of Education

We billionaires stick together

That’s why I’m in charge of the schools

My aim is to serve the religious right

Most teachers are nothing but fools 

Michel Cohen, Personal lawyer

I know more than Mueller about goings-on

Many facts that I’ll never reveal

It’s true that we’re antsy about Russia

But the Stormy thing, that is surreal

Mike Pence, Vice-President

It’s true that our president is morally depraved 

But so far I’ve played my cards right 

I just keep quiet, put on a bland smile

With impeachment, I’ll win the whole fight  

David Dukes, Louisiana politician, white supremacist, anti-Semite

These are the best times we’ve ever had

White nationalism has risen from its grave

Trump will get rid of the immigrants

It’s us white racist Christians he’ll save

Barack Obama, former President

I try to avoid foul obscenities

But this guy is clearly a (blank) 

He’s cancelling everything good we achieved

And, trust me, I’m not being a crank 

Vladimir Putin, President of Russia

Trump is much better than we ever had hoped

So good we made him man of the hour

The more pacts he breaks, the stronger we get

Putin Russia, a new super-power

James Comey, ex-FBI director

I released all that stuff about Hilary

But kept silent about Russian collusion

I never foresaw what a nightmare we’d have

Democracy, it’s now an illusion

Hilary Clinton, Presidential candidate

This is the worst scandal ever

I was eighty times more qualified

Trump was elected by deplorables

I went to the forest and cried

Kim Jong Un, Supreme Leader of North Korea

This strange person calls me Rocket-Man

But look at the attention I get

He’ll help me take over South Korea

He’s the most clueless president yet 

John McCain, Republican senator 

A terrible time to be gravely ill

I want to stand up to this tyrant

He’s dragged our party down the sewer 

I’ve begged Mitch to be more defiant

Rachel Maddow, MSNBC commentator

In the boring old days no one tuned me in 

But now I’ve got three million viewers 

There’s crazy Trump news every single day 

I love doing in the wrongdoers 

Donald Trump, President

I didn’t even want to be President

But so huge that I won over Hilary 

The greatest comeback in history

Now I get to ravage and pillory