Daffy Horoscopes

Dear George,

I have been thinking about going back to work as a horoscope writer.  As you know, I’ve been taking lots of poetry classes, and recently I discovered that horoscopes are known as the “poetry of astrology”.   I would have to learn some astrology, of course, since horoscopes are based on the positions of the sun, moon, and stars.  But poetic talents also enter in, since the best horoscopes are mysterious and titillating.  Our local newspaper, like most, publishes horoscopes every day, and I’ve been keeping track of my favorites for a while.  Here are some of the horoscopes I find most inspiring.

Love,

Dave 

ARIES (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19):  Your life tears off from the form, circling back to offer you a choice.   

TAURUS (Apr. 20 - May 20):  You may find yourself keeping an eye on things that don’t even exist.    

GEMINI (May 21 - June 21): There are many ways to capture in your heart the life inside of life.     

CANCER (June 22 - July 22):  The universe is expanding at a rate that few agree on.  

LEO (July 23 - Aug. 22):  The answer is no to 100% of the questions that are never asked. 

VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): Your love is not a bubble that will pop when it smacks upon a sharp reality. 

LIBRA (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23):  The stumbling, bumbling, dropping and spilling — that’s the way of the living. 

SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21):  Something inter dimensional is occurring within. 

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Wherever the stuff was, there’s usually more there. 

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19):  If you mapped out all you saw, it would be but a tiny dot next to the map of all you never saw.  

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18):  Facts don’t get to be facts just by showing up factually.  

PISCES (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20): A systematic approach may discount the intelligence in you that doesn’t speak to logic.