Wednesday, May 3, 2017

How Best to Behave on Ludlow Avenue

Dear George,
As you know, I’ve always been obsessive about collecting and ordering things.  Usually these are material objects of some sort, but recently I’ve been collecting “messages” (rules, directions, commands, suggestions, etc.) that are printed on posters, placards, signs, cards, etc., in or near Ludlow Ave., the main street of our neighborhood business district.  They’re a concrete reminder of the nonstop barrage of directive messages that we’re exposed to in our daily lives.  Here’s my report.

If you’re taking a walk on Ludlow Ave.
And aren’t sure of just what to do
Simply read all the signs that are posted
Here, from my list, are a few:            

  • Wrong Way
  • Buckle Up
  • Beware of the Dog
  • Please Have ID Ready
  • No Littering, Loitering, Panhandling or Begging
  • Prohibited: Bicycle Riding, Skateboarding, Rollerblading
  • Press down hard on the handle
  • DANGER:  Hazardous Voltage, will cause death.
  • Notice: All Backpacks and Large Purses are Subject to Search
  • Sorry -- No Dogs Allowed
  • Smoking causes lung cancer
  • We request that you remove any hats, caps, sunglasses or hoods
  • No weapons or firearms
  • Children No Longer Allowed Unless Being Serviced!
  • Don't Be A Butthead

All these rules, of course, are “Don’ts”
There are endless things one shouldn’t do
But you’ll also discover some “Do’s” on my street
Including some I never knew:

  • Puppies Welcome
  • Free Food / Free Drink
  • Go Bearcats
  • Increase mindfulness & serenity
  • Breathe
  • Fight to the Finish!  Never Give In
  • Manifest Your Exquisiteness
  • Say Hello to Happy
  • TRUST in YOUR beautiful, HOLY, Light-filled Divinity
  • Today Is Going to Be Awesome

Walking on Ludlow is no easy task
There are thousands of rules that apply
I try my hardest to be correct
Though it does take some work to comply

There clearly are many more Don’ts than Do’s
They’re invented by people who lack smiles
The Do’s seem to come from more mellow folk
Who encourage alternative lifestyles

To manifest exquisiteness, I’d say, is the hardest
For one, I’ve lost touch with this trait
If I find it, how do I manifest it?
Do I even want to be in this state?

It used to be I felt free on my walks
But, with all of these rules, now I won’t
Though I’ve found one sign that does ease my mind:
 “You Don’t Need to Believe –
“It’s Better if You Don’t”

1 comment:

  1. Puts me in mind of the Arlo Guthrie song!