It's a Dog's Life

“It’s a dog’s life,” I said to my wife

“I’d love to do something like that”

My wife thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie

Although later she gave me a pat

The next day at dawn I was working like a dog

Digging holes and burying my bones

Who said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks

A dog’s life, so full of unknowns

By day’s end I’d gotten dog tired

The dog house was out in the back

I went in, lay down, and slept like a dog

I dreamt I was out with my pack

“I’d like to run with the big dogs,” I said 

So I went for a jaunt down the street

I was happy as a dog with two tails

Who’d been given a beef jerky treat

I met a cute Yorkie down by the lake

Her puppy dog eyes caused me to sweat

We jumped off the dock, did the doggie paddle

There’s life in the old dog yet

 These were truly the dog days of summer

A respite from the dog eats dog world

Every dog has their day, I would have to say

I stretched out with my tail unfurled

But then a Pit Bull started hounding me

He was meaner than a junk yard dog

“You’re barking up the wrong tree,” I said

I turned tail and left for a jog

I trotted back home to my family

Who were fighting like cats and dogs

I gave them my dog and pony show

Then I barked a few dog monologues

Hot diggity dog, I was glad to be home

“Dogs”, my mom noted, “are man’s best friend”

This, of course, was a shaggy dog story

Though mom’s love is best in the end

Upset with my absence, my wife got quite crabby

She said now I was in her doghouse

She added, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you”

I’m rarely top dog with my spouse

So that is the story of my life as a dog

Each day I just roam about town

For years it appeared I was going to the dogs

But they can’t keep a good dog down

A Morality Tale About Two Patients

Dear George,

There is an oldish couple who live on Ludlow Ave.  The husband has been bothered by sore leg muscles for a year or so.  It makes his walking unpleasant, and consequently he does about 90% less exercise than he normally does.  This has resulted in weight gain, heightened a1C scores, and overall melancholy.  His wife suggested numerous times that he see the doctor.  His friends have encouraged him to see the doctor.  Even casual acquaintances have urged him to do so.  However, it makes the husband nervous to see the doctor.  He feels he can take care of this problem by himself.  So he’s stretched his legs, used a heating pad, taken Ibuprofen, meditated, elevated his legs, searched the Internet, watched a lot of Netflix.  All to no avail.  He recently mentioned his problem to his pharmacist who suggested that his cholesterol medication may be causing the problem.  At the pharmacist’s recommendation, the husband made an appointment with his doctor.  The doctor recommended stopping the cholesterol medication for a while.  That was two days ago.  The husband’s legs are already feeling better.  The husband wonders why he put up with pain and limping for a year when this could have been resolved a long time ago.  

His wife, meanwhile, went in for a gastroenterological procedure.  When she came home she felt terrible.  Fever, cold chills, a severe cough, sick sick sick.  The husband thought this was a normal reaction and was just a matter of needing some bed rest.  The wife instead called the doctor’s office.  The nurse suggested she go to the emergency room.  The husband thought this was ill-considered and unnecessary.  The wife insisted on speaking to the doctor, and, when the doctor called back. he suggested she go right away to the emergency room.  She went, was examined, was given an antibiotic for pneumonia, and was admitted to the hospital overnight for monitoring.  The doctor said it had been very important that she called and had stayed overnight in the hospital.  She’s, of course, doing much better and seems back to normal. 

These are different ways of being a patient.  The husband is to be admired for his self-sufficiency and confidence.  Unfortunately he is also stupid and dysfunctional.  The wife, more assertive, knows what she is doing and takes action.  Hopefully the husband will learn from her example (though he hasn’t seemed to do so in some sixty years).

Love,

Dave 

TV's Weirdly Gendered World

Dear George, 

Katja and my TV watching has been creeping upward since we retired.  That’s not surprising since we do have a lot more time on our hands.  And, between cable and Netflix, there are many more viewing possibilities than there used to be.  Americans watch a lot of TV — about 35 hours a week for the average adult (1).  Adults 65 and over watch more than any other age group, approximately 48 hours a week (2).  What has struck me for a long time is that the content of TV shows is more about gender than any other topic.  Recently I’ve been collecting brief plot summary statements from tvguide.com to illustrate some of these themes.  Here’s a sampling of  storylines from TV Guide, subdivided by “women”, “men”, and “women and men together”. 

Women

Piper has an epiphany 

Allison has to lose weight 

Peggy suffers from a migraine 

Mary Lou takes French lessons

Charlotte volunteers for the blind

Violet provides comfort to a friend 

Elena serves tilapia for Thanksgiving

Samantha is uneasy about holding hands

Bride Bridgette needs a dress to say yes in

Cindy uncovers a family secret — her adoption 

Stefanie sells makeup at school as a side business

An unflattering photo of Jade is posted on the internet 

Men 

Josh and his team search the Brazilian jungle for a giant anaconda

Jim sees a monster holding the lifeless body of his foster mother 

“Pharma Bro” jacks up the price of a life-saving drug 5000%

A guy asks a friend to shoot him because “I like the scars”

Mike and his poker pals bond during colonoscopy prep 

Chase and Jacoby struggle for command of the boat

A cross-dressing professor goes on a killing spree

Eli finds farming more than it’s cracked to be 

Alfie leads a lonely life hidden in a cave

Frenchy and Gee battle a cannibal

Hoyt is moved from death row 

Michael severs all family ties 

Women and Men Together 

A small-town beauty queen is terrorized by a wealthy would-be suitor

Katie’s ex hides video cameras and microphones in her home

A young woman’s ideal man has the heart of a monster

Christine feels intellectually inferior to Max’s friends

Sammy Jo is ready to wash Jeff out of her hair 

Diana learns the truth about Richard 

George gets a girlfriend (and a rash) 

A distracted Jeremy forgets Tasha’s birthday 

Hank butchers his marriage proposal to Karen

Bella and Will struggle to enjoy one another’s hobbies

Cooper confesses to Angela that he’s married with children 

An escapee from a mental institution aims to avenge a ruined romance 

Because it’s all familiar the examples may not be too surprising, but they do remind us how stereotypic, often sexist portrayals of women and men dominate the media.  Women are generally depicted as emotional, caring, concerned about beauty, worried about finding men, and engaged in domestic pursuits.  Men, meanwhile, are off in adventurous and dangerous pursuits, striving for power, and engaging in violence.  When women’s and men’s relationships or transactions are portrayed, they are often conflictful and on the verge of collapse, usually because of men being ne’er-do-wells. 

The examples I’ve given here, of course, haven’t been randomly selected and represent only a tiny percentage of the plot summaries of currently available TV shows.  Extensive social science research, however, paints a very similar picture.  UNC communications researcher Julia Wood (nyu) describes findings from empirical studies of TV and film content:   “Men are presented as hard, tough, independent, sexually aggressive, unafraid, violent, totally in control of all emotions, and-above all-in no way feminine…Women are portrayed as significantly younger and thinner than women in the population as a whole, and most are depicted as passive, dependent on men, and enmeshed in relationships or housework.”  (3)

Browsing in TV Guide is food for thought.  I doubt if we’ll stop watching TV.  However, it’s helpful to be conscious of what it is we’re watching.  Rather than reflecting reality, all this stuff creates a fantasy world which serves to reinforce traditional sex role expectations.   The viewer should beware.   (Actually I thought we had moved beyond this in the seventies.)

Love,

Dave

Sources:

(1) www.businessinsider.com, “The average American watches so much TV it’s almost a full-time job” 

(2) www.marketingcharts.com, “The State of Traditional TV: Updated with Q2 2017 Data” 

(3)  www.nyu.edu, Julia T. Wood.  (Dept. Communication, UNC)  “Gendered Media: The Influence of Media on Views of Gender.”