Letters for George: Googling Heaven

Dear George,

When I was a kid, Skipper, Frankie, and I had many conversations about the existence of heaven. They both were certain that heaven was up in the clouds, but I was more skeptical. I felt sure that mosquitoes don’t go anywhere after you swat them, nor do turtles when run over by a car. Why should things be any different for humans? I put all questions about heaven out of my mind for the next seventy years. However, now that I’m closer to an end-state, I find myself wondering again. Does Heaven exist? What is it like? How do you get there? Nowadays I gather almost all my factual knowledge from the internet (which I consider infallible). Here are some questions I asked Google and the amazing answers I received.

How many Americans believe in heaven?

Defining heaven as a place “where people who have led good lives are eternally rewarded,” the Pew Research Center (2015) found that 72% of Americans believe in heaven. This includes 88% of Evangelical Protestants, 80% of Mainline Protestants, 85% of Catholics, 95% of Mormons, 40% of Jews, and 5% of Atheists. (18) [Note: #’s in parentheses refer to sources listed at the end.]

Do Swedes believe in heaven?

In a cross-national study of 32 countries, 18% of Swedes reported believing in heaven. (14)

Does heaven actually exist?

Most of the 74 million websites addressing the question seem to conclude that heaven does exist, although Stephen Hawkins claims that heaven is a fairytale. (23) My senior citizen organization, AARP, convened a panel of 6 religious experts, and all 6 endorsed one or another version of heaven. (1)

Where is heaven located?

I had trouble finding a definitive answer. Billygraham.org assures us, however, that heaven is “a literal place that is just as real as Los Angeles, London, or Algiers!” However, the Bible doesn’t reveal exactly where it is. (5)

What does heaven look like?

Google offers many impressive views of heaven. Here are a few. (6, 8, 16)

How many people will go to heaven?

According to the Bible (Revelation 7:4), 144,000 will be resurrected to heavenly life. (Considering the history of mankind, this is not that many.) They will serve alongside Jesus as kings and priests for 1,000 years, forming a heavenly government and restoring mankind. (16)

Can non-Christians go to heaven?

Majorities of Catholics (68%) and mainline Protestants (65%) say that some non-Christian religions can lead to eternal life. Evangelical Christians (31%) are least likely to agree. (11)

Can bad people go to heaven?

According to harvest.org, it is incorrect to think that good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell. Some “good” people will not make it to heaven because heaven is for forgiven people, not good people. Likewise some “bad” people will go to heaven because they realized they were bad and asked God for forgiveness. (12)

Can serial killers go to heaven?

Yes says the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. “God can forgive anyone who truly repents and puts their faith and trust in Christ for their salvation.” (5)

How many people go to hell?

A contributor to jesus-is-savior.com has worked out the math, and about 90% of deceased people wind up going to hell. (15)

Do dogs and cats go to heaven

Just about all knowledgeable sources agree that they do. In fact, Pope Francis recently told a young boy whose dog has died that paradise is open to all of God’s creatures. (22)

Will heaven be boring?

Some people apparently worry that after ten million years of prayer and worship heaven might become boring. According to relevant websites, this is definitely not the case. Drawing from biblical quotes, amazingfacts.org gives five reasons why heaven won’t be boring. These are: we will plant and build; be surrounded by breathtaking nature; be reunited with loved ones; make millions of new friends; and visit face to face with our awesome God. (2)

What age will we be in heaven?

This is a difficult question because the Bible doesn’t directly address it. Some say we will be 33 because that was Jesus’ age at the resurrection. It is clear that we will have brand new bodies which do not die, age, or suffer. Most likely we will have no age at all. If we do have an age, it will be the last thing on our minds. (9)

Do people meet Jesus in heaven?

A YouTube video assures us that we will “sit across and face to face with Jesus.” (25)

What do people do in heaven?

Heaven, according to biblesprout.com, is a very active place — not just angels sitting around on clouds with harps and singing in choirs. The top seven things to do in heaven are: learning; singing; worship; serving; leading; fellowship with others; and eating. (4)

What can people NOT do in heaven?

A contributor named John Pleasnick scoured the Bible and discovered ten things that people can not do in heaven. These are: evangelize; rebel against God; grieve; get married; have kids; be ignorant; hunt and kill stuff; die; be distracted in worship; and get bored. (17)

Will we be angels when we go to heaven?

Definitely not, says Inspiration MInistries. Angels and humans are completely different creatures. Just like Jesus after his resurrection, we will have physical bodies that are able to talk, eat, walk, and be touched. (13)

Will people be sick in heaven?

Absolutely not, according to billygraham.org. In heaven we will have new and perfect bodies — bodies that will never become weak or die. (5)

Are there old people in heaven?

No old people. According to House to House/Heart to Heart, people in heaven never age. Even after ten thousand years, people are just as youthful as on day one. (5)

Do people get angry in heaven?

Billygraham.org reports that we will experience emotions like joy and love in heaven. However, anger, bitterness, and jealousy come from our old self-centered nature, and this will be eliminated in heaven. Likewise, we’ll be completely safe in heaven and thus won’t experience emotions like fear, worry, or anxiety. (5)

Is there TV in heaven?

Most responders to Yahoo Answers say yes, but there’s not complete consensus. Anon. says that only spiritual things are in heaven, thus no TV. Evins says you can see anything you want in heaven including baseball games broadcast in Hebrew. Martin S. points out that television wasn’t invented when the Bible was written, so there’s no clear answer. (3)

Do people have sex in heaven?

Most experts agree wholeheartedly that there is sex in heaven. According to the Christian Religious Institute, “there will be sexuality in heaven because heaven will personify enjoyment.” (10)

Is there beer in heaven?

According to the Catholic Herald in Milwaukee, “I’m sure if we asked, a cold mug would be provided for us now and then.” (7)

Will there be roller coasters in heaven?

There is nothing sinful about rollercoasters so it’s not like they couldn’t be in heaven. However we don’t need amusement park thrills in heaven. The thrill of seeing God the Father far outweighs one’s first ride on Millennium Force at Cedar Point, Ohio. (21)

Did Richard Nixon go to heaven?

Unfortunately the internet doesn’t offer a clear answer to this question, However, in a related matter, President Gerald Ford told an associate, “I know I will go to hell, because I pardoned Richard Nixon.” (20)

Will Donald Trump go to heaven?

Few experts have addressed this pressing question, although the mayor of Philadelphia has recently stated, “If Donald Trump ever has to go back where he came from, he’s going to have to go to hell.” (24)

Will I go to heaven?

I thought Google might be squishy on this one, but ProProfs.com offers an 8-item quiz that gives a definite answer. What I got: “Just continue on doing good deeds then for sure, you will go to heaven.” All right! (19)

Overall, here is what I got from my research: Americans are certain that heaven exists, that it’s a physical place, and that it offers everything one could hope for for. Swedes don’t agree with this at all (though they do believe in Valhalla). As a Swedish-American, this leaves me in a quandary.

Love,

Dave

SOURCES:

(1) aarp.org, “Does Heaven Exist?”, July 20, 2011;

(2) amazingfacts.org, “5 reasons heaven won’t be boring,” nd;

(3) answers.yahoo.com, “Is there T.V. in heaven?”, nd;

(4) biblesprout.com, “What is there to do in heaven?”, nd;

(5) billygraham.org, “”Answers”, May 11, 2005; Nov. 1, 2010; Feb. 27, 2011; Oct. 23;

(6) calebtrimble.com, “Heaven is painful”, June 20, 2014;

(7) catholicherald.org, “No beer in heaven — or is there? Nov. 11, 2016;

(8) christiscoming777.com, “Heaven”, nd;

(9) compellingtruth.org, “In heaven, what age will everyone be?”, nd;