What I've Learned From The Pandemic

DEAR GEORGE, Our lives have been significantly altered for over a year because of the coronavirus pandemic. With growing hope that we might return to normal in the foreseeable future, I find myself trying to figure out what it has all meant to me. Here are my thoughts so far. LOVE, DAVE.

(1) The pandemic is like prison. The pandemic means different things to different people. One of my acquaintances loves working at home and dreads returning to the office. Another is mourning the loss of both of his parents to the virus. For Katja and myself it’s been mostly a matter of home imprisonment — confined to the house, cut off from contact with friends, most of our normal world inaccessible. Life’s pleasures typically involve going places and doing things, and fourteen months of restrictiveness have resulted in a felt loss of control and bouts of boredom and hopelessness. (2) My wife is a pretty good cell-mate. Despite divorce filings rising 34% during the pandemic, I’d say that we fellow prisoners have actually been more mutually supportive than we normally are. Together in the same boat, we’ve managed to share a few laughs every day. (3) The pandemic is a major test. In the most dire circumstances the pandemic has meant coping with the death of loved ones, job losses, business failures, neighborhood decay. In my own case it’s been more a question of resourcefulness — how to restructure my life in meaningful ways, given the loss of so many options. (4) My grade is a C-. A year ago I made a list of things I could do more of. Start a new home exercise program, read more books, do an art project, study Spanish, write more poetry. As with my New Year’s resolutions, I failed at all of these. Personal change is difficult to bring about. My only significant adjustment has been to watch more TV. That’s o.k. — I enjoy watching TV and it’s entertaining. But it’s also lazy and nonproductive. (5) Others are alien beings (and so are we). Out on the street most of us wear masks, concealing our faces, smiles, and nonverbal expressions. When passing on the sidewalk people move as far apart as possible, sometimes stepping into the gutter or onto an adjacent lawn. We now live in a world where everyone else is a potential threat to one’s well-being (and we ourselves are threats to others). How alienated can the populace be? (6) The pandemic is politicized. One might think the pandemic to be a public health matter, but, thanks to an unnamed former president, it’s a political monstrosity as well. Half the country (the other half) is the enemy. I feel angry when I see people in indoor spaces who refuse to wear masks; resent the millions who choose not to be vaccinated; and, with the exception of Gov. Dewine, am generally disgusted with the actions of red-state governors. It’s amazing that we can’t find more common ground since everyone faces the same global disaster. (7) Social isolation isn’t all bad. Some people have prospered during the pandemic. The takeout restaurant down the street is doing a whopping business. For myself I find that my faulty hearing has been largely “cured” during the pandemic (thanks to TV closed captions and lack of conversations). I also suffer much less from social anxiety (given minimal social contact). Much of the time I feel more at peace than I did before the pandemic. (8) One solution is a sense of mission. After months of stagnation, I rediscovered a major task that I’d put off for years and years. We have an upstairs room that I regard as my “junk room”. It’s filled with stuff that I’ve accumulated over forty plus years — treasures from yard sales, antique stores, flea markets, etc. The piles of stuff grew out of control a decade or two ago, and I’ve long been thinking about cleaning it up. With so much new free time, it seemed like my chance had come. The job took about a month, but I was totally engrossed and managed to create order out of chaos. This was my most satisfying accomplishment during the past year. (9) Family is the bulwark. We would have had a much harder time, were it not for the support of our sweet family in New Orleans. J, K, and the kids flew up last month, and, with all of the adults vaccinated, we did a lot of activities that we’d foregone for a year: the zoo, out to eat at a fancy restaurant, multiple thrift shops, Findlay Market and Jungle Jim’s, three-ways at Skyline Chili. They gave us concrete hope that our lives were changing for the better. (10) Dogs help too. Dogs don’t worry at all about the pandemic. If anything, they appreciate getting petted and walked more. My son J. drove up from New Orleans in March 2020 on his way to California and left their miniature schnauzer, Iko, with us. Having this furry bundle of energy in the house has made our lives much more lively and enjoyable. (11) Returning to “normal” is a challenge. With the exception of our recent family visit, Katja and I continue to pretty much shelter in place. Keeping isolated seems to have become our fixed pattern, and sometimes I worry it will go on forever. We need to take some more baby steps to break free.