Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Spring is for Poems

Dear George,
Today our Poetry Writing Workshop came to an end.  That makes me sad, though, of course, one doesn’t need a workshop to write a few poems.  Here are some of my products from the Spring quarter.

Bigfoot Lives

Last month I went on a U.P. trip
I found a motel near Birch Creek
I hadn’t been home for years and years
The land still retained its mystique

I hiked for miles in the wilds of the forest
Woods teeming with cedar and pine            
The snow on the ground made walking a struggle
Dead deer were an ominous sign

I found large tracks heading off to the north
Two feet long and nearly as wide
It couldn’t have been a bear or a cougar
It had moved with a gigantic stride

I followed those tracks to the heart of the woods
A loud wail burst forth from the trees
At a distance I saw a blurry shape
I felt myself flinch and then freeze

The creature started to move toward me
I couldn’t believe my own eyes
He must have stood over eight feet tall
And he bellowed great howls and cries
I started to run as fast as I could
But the beast was much faster than me
He knocked me to the ground with a piercing blow
Then he pinned down my chest with his knee

He had blazing red eyes and horns on his head
He was covered with matted black fur
I kicked and struggled and tried to break free
But his foul breath made my eyes blur

The monster pummeled my head with his arms
He was snorting like a bull through his snout
My heart was pounding like a battery of drums
It was then that I must have passed out

When I finally came to, the beast was gone
I’m amazed I survived my ordeal
Some people still wonder if Bigfoot exists
This poem surely proves he is real

What They Thought About Humpty


All the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again

What the King’s men thought

This King has drunk too many kegs
He forgets we’re the palace guards
What do we know of broken eggs?
That Humpty is nothing but shards 

What the King’s horses thought

We are horses, for God’s sake
We don’t even have any hands
We’re ever so sad to see Humpty break
But the King should rethink his commands

What the King thought

These are the world’s worst horses
And I’ll need to replace all my men
Next week I’ll have better resources
We’ll put Humpty together again

What the Queen thought

My husband the king is a schnook
He didn’t even put me in the rhyme
I’ll bring this smashed egg to our cook
She’ll whip up an omelet sublime

What Humpty thought

I should never have sat on that wall
I’ve always been wobbly and tippy
Now I’m broken into pieces so small
And my innards are disgustingly drippy

What Humpty’s mother thought

How could you do this, cruel Humpty?
Fate has played us a terrible joke
It’s painful just to be a Dumpty
We’ve nothing of Humpty but yolk

What Humpty’s wife thought

I fear that's the end for my Humpty
He was always a fragile sort
We planned for a baby Dumpty
But now I am free to cavort

Death Sends Warm Regards

A while ago I had a chat with Death
She scared me and I tried to get away
Her pale white visage took away my breath
 “Relax,” she said, “I’ll come another day”

Then Death returned as she had vowed to do
She said the time had come for us to leave
We held each other’s hands and off we flew
I hoped my chums would find some time to grieve

I met St. Peter at the Pearly Gate
He handed me a long form to fill out
I couldn’t think of anything that great
I drank too much and acted like a lout

So that was the end of my days on Earth
I haven’t any stories left to tell
I’d like to say that everything’s been mirth
Except that it is quite hot here in Hell

An Ode to the Green Bay Packers

The Packers of Green Bay are America’s team
They’re the only group owned by their fans
They first got started in nineteen nineteen
Their field didn’t have any stands

They beat Menominee in their very first game
The score was fifty-three versus zero
They had guys named Biggy and Hexbert and Sam
Captain Curly Lambeau was their hero

When I was a kid Don Hutson was the star
An offensive force, he played defense too
The greatest receiver in league history by far
Three NFL titles were his due

Coach Lombardi arrived in fall fifty-nine
He brought fame and glory to Green Bay
They won the first Super Bowl in sixty-five
Then Super Bowl Two went their way
Brett Favre joined the Pack in ninety-two
He stepped in when Magic got hurt
Seventy thousand yards is what Brett finally threw
Two Super Bowls in that Packer spurt

So that’s how it’s been for us Green Bay codgers
Our moods are altered by the Packers’ fate
Right now all our hopes are with Aaron Rodgers
We’re sure he’ll be nothing but great

No comments:

Post a Comment