Saturday, December 29, 2012

Helpful Holiday Advice from the Locker Room

Holiday snacks at our house

Dear George,
You get a lot of good info in the locker room that you don’t often hear elsewhere.  I think guys must level with one another more there.  The other day two chunky, white-haired men were conversing across the aisle.  Here’s how it went:

First Guy:  My doctor says I have to lose twenty pounds.  I don’t know how I’m going to do it.  I don’t think I can do it.

Second Guy:  Those doctors all say that.  Don’t listen to him.  It took you a lot of years to put those pounds on.  It would take you the rest of your life to take them off.

First Guy:  He said I need to do it for my health.

Second Guy:  I never once saw a skinny guy who was healthy.

First Guy:  I have this friend who is real skinny.  He’s very healthy.  He’s 91.  He takes long walks every day.  He doesn’t drink.  He eats lots of fruits and vegetables.  He does everything right.

Second Guy:  He might be healthy but he’s totally miserable.  He doesn’t eat anything.  He doesn’t drink.  He’s given up on everything there is.

First Guy:  His wife is in a nursing home.  I guess he doesn’t have much going for him.

Second Guy:  There are just two things worth living for.  One is eating.  The other I can’t even remember what it is, but I can’t do it any more.  So eating is -- that’s all that’s left.

First Guy (chuckling):  I know what you mean.  Well, I’m outa here.  Happy New Year to you and the Mrs.

Second Guy:  Yeah, Happy New Years to you too.  And keep away from those doctors.

First Guy:  I will.  I will. 

This has to be the most helpful conversation I’ve heard in a long time.  People I hang around with never say stuff like this.  My doctor gives me the same old story about losing weight, and it’s a relief to get a fresh point of view.  It definitely takes the pressure off during the holidays.  Happy New Year to all and be sure to eat a second piece of chocolate fudge cake.  Maybe even a third.

G-mail Comments
-Donna D (12-30): very funny :)

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