Three Halloween Poems

Dear George, 

Next to Christmas, I think Halloween is the best holiday of the year.  All those treats, kids being out on the streets at night, the funny costumes, the possibility doing of tricks.  This past week I’ve been trying to capture the spirit of Halloween in poems.  Here are some of my efforts.

Love,

Dave 

All Hallows Eve: A Villanelle

The wind turns brisk and whistles through the night

Tricksters in masks scurry here and there

All Hallows Eve, a time for thrills and fright

A pirate and a ghoul wait at the light

A witch casts her spell, wide-eyed children stare

The wind turns brisk and whistles through the night

           

Vampires hug shadows, poised to bite

While a girl screams to friends, “Bloodsuckers!  Beware!”

All Hallows Eve, a time for thrills and fright

The smallest ghost clutches his lantern bright

Fierce howls of werewolves fill the chilly air

The wind turns brisk and whistles through the night

A band of zombies lurches into sight

Incarnations from some deep nightmare

All Hallows Eve, a time for thrills and fright

Kids bring bags of treats to their porches bright

Mothers and fathers are waiting there

The wind turns brisk and whistles through the night

All Hallows Eve, a time for thrills and fright

* * *

The Legend of Jack O’ Lantern

Jack O’Malley, the village rowdy

Staggered home from the pub one night

A dark figure sat on top of the oak

Satan’s presence filled Jack with stark fright

Jack quickly pulled out his woodsman’s knife

Carved a cross on the trunk of the tree 

Satan couldn’t climb past that holy cross

Till he promised Jack’s soul would stay free

Jack lived out his life as a scoundrel and thief

When he died, St. Peter locked the gate 

Jack sought out the Prince of Darkness

“Tough luck,” Satan said, “that’s your fate”

As Jack walked away Satan threw a burning coal

And Jack stuck it in a hollowed out gourd 

He used it as a lantern to light his way

As he wandered the countryside, spurned and ignored

The history of Halloween is ancient and hoary

But one fact is clear — Jack O’ Lantern’s story 

* * * 

  John Carpenter’s Halloween: A Poetic Synopsis

Michael Myers was born a monster

At six he killed his sister with a knife

Locked up fifteen years in the asylum

He escaped to resume his warped life   

           

Michael snuck back home to his Illinois town

There he killed a mechanic just for his clothes

He began to stalk Laurie, a high school beauty    

Her friends joked this weird guy would soon propose 

Dr. Loomis, the psychiatrist, raced to Michael’s hometown

Informing the sheriff of Michael Myers’ escape

“A monster so evil,” Dr. Loomis said

“No question he’ll murder, despoil, and rape”

That night, Halloween, Laurie babysat

Her best friend Annie was right across the street  

Michael Myers had followed both of these girls

He sliced Annie’s throat as if it were meat

Laurie’s friends Bob and Lynda arrived at Annie’s

Straight up to the bedroom to fool around

Bob came down for a beer, Michael slit his throat

Strangled Lynda to death, not the tiniest sound 

Laurie came to make sure that her friends were all right

Found the corpses of Annie, then Lynda and Bob

Michael jumped out in his white hockey mask

Grabbed Laurie by the throat, set to finish the job

At that very moment Dr. Loomis burst in

Shot Michael six times with his Magnum handgun

Michael tumbled off the balcony to the ground below

But looking for a  body the survivors found none 

POSTCRIPT

I went to this movie, walked home to my house

Michael Myers was hidden behind every tree

Supposedly an adult, I feared for my life 

Four decades later I still want to flee

Autumn Nostalgia

Dear George,
For almost fifteen years Duffy, Mike, Sophie, Donna, and I took at least half a dozen hikes at Miami Whitewater Forest every autumn.  Now that Donna has moved to Nashville and the sheepdogs have gone to the great beyond, my visits there are few and far between.  However, it does have the best hiking trails in the area, and my visit this week reminded me that autumn there is still a joy.
Love,
Dave

Googling Heaven

Dear George,

When I was a kid, Skipper, Frankie, and I had many conversations about the existence of heaven.  They both were certain that heaven was up in the clouds, but I was more skeptical.  I felt sure that mosquitoes don’t go anywhere after you swat them, nor do turtles when run over by a car.  Why should things be any different for humans?  I put all questions about heaven out of my mind for the next seventy years.  However, now that I’m closer to an end-state, I find myself wondering again.  Does Heaven exist?  What is it like?  How do you get there?  Nowadays I gather almost all my factual knowledge from the internet (which I consider infallible).  Here are some questions I asked Google and the amazing answers I received.

How many Americans believe in heaven?  

Defining heaven as a place “where people who have led good lives are eternally rewarded,” the Pew Research Center (2015) found that 72% of Americans believe in heaven.  This includes 88% of Evangelical Protestants, 80% of Mainline Protestants, 85% of Catholics, 95% of Mormons, 40% of Jews, and 5% of Atheists.  (18)  [Note: #’s in parentheses refer to sources listed at the end.] 

Do Swedes believe in heaven?

In a cross-national study of 32 countries, 18% of Swedes reported believing in heaven.  (14) 

Does heaven actually exist?

Most of the 74 million websites addressing the question seem to conclude that heaven does exist, although Stephen Hawkins claims that heaven is a fairytale.  (23)  My senior citizen organization, AARP, convened a panel of 6 religious experts, and all 6 endorsed one or another version of heaven.  (1) 

Where is heaven located? 

I had trouble finding a definitive answer.  Billygraham.org  assures us, however, that heaven is “a literal place that is just as real as Los Angeles, London, or Algiers!”  However, the Bible doesn’t reveal exactly where it is.  (5) 

What does heaven look like?

Google offers many impressive views of heaven.  Here are a few.  (6, 8, 16)

How many people will go to heaven?

According to the Bible (Revelation 7:4), 144,000 will be resurrected to heavenly life.  (Considering the history of mankind, this is not that many.)  They will serve alongside Jesus as kings and priests for 1,000 years, forming a heavenly government and restoring mankind.  (16)

Can non-Christians go to heaven?

Majorities of Catholics (68%) and mainline Protestants (65%) say that some non-Christian religions can lead to eternal life.  Evangelical Christians (31%) are least likely to agree.  (11) 

Can bad people go to heaven?

According to harvest.org, it is incorrect to think that good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell.  Some “good” people will not make it to heaven because heaven is for forgiven people, not good people.  Likewise some “bad” people will go to heaven because they realized they were bad and asked God for forgiveness.  (12) 

Can serial killers go to heaven? 

Yes says the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association.  “God can forgive anyone who truly repents and puts their faith and trust in Christ for their salvation.”  (5) 

How many people go to hell? 

A contributor to jesus-is-savior.com has worked out the math, and about 90% of deceased people wind up going to hell.  (15) 

Do dogs and cats go to heaven 

Just about all knowledgeable sources agree that they do.  In fact, Pope Francis recently told a young boy whose dog has died that paradise is open to all of God’s creatures.  (22) 

Will heaven be boring? 

Some people apparently worry that after ten million years of prayer and worship heaven might become boring.  According to relevant websites, this is definitely not the case.  Drawing from biblical quotes, amazingfacts.org gives five reasons why heaven won’t be boring.  These are: we will plant and build; be surrounded by breathtaking nature; be reunited with loved ones; make millions of new friends; and visit face to face with our awesome God.  (2) 

What age will we be in heaven?

This is a difficult question because the Bible doesn’t directly address it.  Some say we will be 33 because that was Jesus’ age at the resurrection.  It is clear that we will have brand new bodies which do not die, age, or suffer.  Most likely we will have no age at all.  If we do have an age, it will be the last thing on our minds.  (9) 

Do people meet Jesus in heaven?

A YouTube video assures us that we will “sit across and face to face with Jesus.”  (25)

What do people do in heaven? 

Heaven, according to biblesprout.com, is a very active place — not just angels sitting around on clouds with harps and singing in choirs.  The top seven things to do in heaven are: learning; singing; worship; serving; leading; fellowship with others; and eating.  (4)  

What can people NOT do in heaven? 

A contributor named John Pleasnick scoured the Bible and discovered ten things that people can not do in heaven.  These are: evangelize; rebel against God; grieve; get married; have kids; be ignorant; hunt and kill stuff; die; be distracted in worship; and get bored.  (17) 

Will we be angels when we go to heaven?

Definitely not, says Inspiration MInistries.  Angels and humans are completely different creatures.  Just like Jesus after his resurrection, we will have physical bodies that are able to talk, eat, walk, and be touched.  (13) 

Will people be sick in heaven? 

Absolutely not, according to billygraham.org.  In heaven we will have new and perfect bodies — bodies that will never become weak or die.  (5) 

Are there old people in heaven?

No old people.  According to House to House/Heart to Heart, people in heaven never age.  Even after ten thousand years, people are just as youthful as on day one.  (5)

Do people get angry in heaven?

Billygraham.org reports that we will experience emotions like joy and love in heaven.  However, anger, bitterness, and jealousy come from our old self-centered nature, and this will be eliminated in heaven.  Likewise, we’ll be completely safe in heaven and thus won’t experience emotions like fear, worry, or anxiety.  (5)   

Is there TV in heaven? 

Most responders to Yahoo Answers say yes, but there’s not complete consensus.  Anon. says that only spiritual things are in heaven, thus no TV.  Evins says you can see anything you want in heaven including baseball games broadcast in Hebrew.  Martin S. points out that television wasn’t invented when the Bible was written, so there’s no clear answer.  (3) 

Do people have sex in heaven? 

Most experts agree wholeheartedly that there is sex in heaven.  According to the Christian Religious Institute, “there will be sexuality in heaven because heaven will personify enjoyment.”  (10) 

Is there beer in heaven?

According to the Catholic Herald in Milwaukee, “I’m sure if we asked, a cold mug would be provided for us now and then.”  (7)

Will there be roller coasters in heaven?

There is nothing sinful about rollercoasters so it’s not like they couldn’t be in heaven.  However we don’t need amusement park thrills in heaven.  The thrill of seeing God the Father far outweighs one’s first ride on Millennium Force at Cedar Point, Ohio.  (21) 

Did Richard Nixon go to heaven?

Unfortunately the internet doesn’t offer a clear answer to this question,  However, in a related matter, President Gerald Ford told an associate, “I know I will go to hell, because I pardoned Richard Nixon.”  (20)  

Will Donald Trump go to heaven?

Few experts have addressed this pressing question, although the mayor of Philadelphia has recently stated, “If Donald Trump ever has to go back where he came from, he’s going to have to go to hell.”  (24)

Will I go to heaven?

I thought Google might be squishy on this one, but ProProfs.com offers an 8-item quiz that gives a definite answer.  What I got: “Just continue on doing good deeds then for sure, you will go to heaven.”  All right! (19) 

Overall, here is what I got from my research:  Americans are certain that heaven exists, that it’s a physical place, and that it offers everything one could hope for for.  Swedes don’t agree with this at all (though they do believe in Valhalla).  As a Swedish-American, this leaves me in a quandary.

Love,

Dave

SOURCES:

(1) aarp.org, “Does Heaven Exist?”, July 20, 2011; 

(2) amazingfacts.org, “5 reasons heaven won’t be boring,” nd; 

(3) answers.yahoo.com, “Is there T.V. in heaven?”, nd; 

(4) biblesprout.com, “What is there to do in heaven?”, nd;   

(5) billygraham.org, “”Answers”, May 11, 2005; Nov. 1, 2010; Feb. 27, 2011; Oct. 23;  

(6) calebtrimble.com, “Heaven is painful”, June 20, 2014; 

(7) catholicherald.org, “No beer in heaven — or is there? Nov. 11, 2016; 

(8) christiscoming777.com, “Heaven”, nd; 

(9) compellingtruth.org, “In heaven, what age will everyone be?”, nd; 

(10) equip.org, “Will there be sex in heaven?”  Feb. 10, 2011; 

(11) factgsandtrends.net, “When we all get to heaven?  Apr. 25, 2018; 

(12) harvest.org, “Heaven Isn’t for ‘GoodWill Never Do in Heaven”, nd;   

(13) inspiration.org, “14 Questions and Answers About Heaven,” nd.  

(14) ipsos.com, “Perils of Perception 2017: Heaven, Hell, and God”, 2017; 

(15)  jesus-is-savior.com, “Billions of people are going to hell”, May 2003;  

(16) jw.org, “Who Go to Heaven?”, nd; 

(17) medium.com, “The Things You Can’t Do In Heaven,” May 10, 2018; 

(18) pewresearch.org, “Most Americans believe in heaven … and hell” Nov. 10, 2015; 

(19) proprofs.com, “Will I Go To Heaven?”, July 15, 2016; 

(20) rationalwiki.org, “Gerald Ford”, nd; 

(21) reasonhope.com, “Will there be rollercoasters in heaven?”, nd; 

(22) theconversation.com, “All dogs go to heaven”, May 29, 2017; 

(23) theguardian.com, “Stephen Hawking: ‘There is no heaven’, May 15, 2011; 

(24) thehill.com, “Philadelphia mayor: Trump would ‘got to hell’…” July 16, 2019; 

(25) youtube.com, “7 surprising things we will do in heaven that might shock you”, Mar. 13, 2018; 

50 Word Horror Stories

Dear George,

I was browsing around the internet when I ran across the 50 word horror story contest on everywritersresource.com.  That peaked my curiosity.  Entries have to be original, scary, exactly 50 words in length, and include a title (not counted in the 50 words).  You can enter as many times as you want.  First prize is $500, and the deadline is Oct. 25, 2019 (six days before Halloween).  Here are the stories I’ve been working on.

Love,

Dave

The Coven 

Madelyn was convinced that her new neighbors were witches.  Her husband Rex said that was poppycock.  When Madelyn got visibly upset by a late night gathering, Rex decided to  investigate.  He returned, announcing it was nothing.  Madelyn fainted.  His head had been shrunk to the size of a golf ball. 

Bathtub Games 

Robby played happily in the tub with his armada of toy boats, battling the perky alligator that frolicked below the surface.  His mother came in and gave him a smile.  She lifted Robby out, then screamed.  Blood was gushing out.  The bottom half of Robby’s torso  had been eaten away. 

A Mind Of Its Own

Mort was thrilled to own the first million dollar self-driving car in L.A.  “Vallejo,” he said on his maiden voyage.  When he realized the car misunderstood, he repeated “Vallejo, Vallejo!”  However they’d already entered Death Valley.   The temperature was one hundred sixty eight.  The vultures began circling overhead.  

Deep in the Heartland 

Randy arrived at the rural Indiana flea market.  “Look”, a red-haired boy shouted, “a Hillary Clinton button!”  Randy was immediately surrounded by farmhands wielding pitchforks and axe handles.  They wore dirty coveralls and MAGA caps.  “This is for The Great One,” they screamed.  “No, please,” were Randy’s last words. 

   

Sweet Dreams

Jackson begged the doctor for an Ambien refill.  In truth, he mostly liked the drug for the fantastic  hallucinations it produced.  Jackson popped the pill, and the sleep monster arrived in minutes.  Jackson marched into its cavernous jaws.  He apparently slept like the dead — no one ever located Jackson’s corpse. 

Mass Murder Gone Amuck 

The two teens snuck into the elementary school and retrieved their rifles from a closet.  Picking a third-grade classroom at random, they pushed open the door and screamed “Die!”.  The well-trained children calmly reached into their desks, pulled out their Smith & Wessons, and riddled the intruders with bullets.

Our Early Summer Trip to the Big Apple

Dear George,

Katja booked our Delta flight to New York City by phone because it was the first time that we ever tried to use our Frequent Flyer miles.  It seems we’ve been accumulating points for half a century or more since the agent said we had 245,000 miles, enough to fly around the world several times.  My fare was free, though we did pay for Katja’s.

Air travel, as usual, was a headache.  When I forgot to take my shoes off in the security aisle, a TSA agent asked me my age, then determined I could leave them on.  The line was backed up, and another agent motioned Katja to come over to the lane he was in.  He checked her ID. looked into her handbag, and then said, “Push that box aside and go back to the other lane.”  Katja misheard him and started pushing the box over to the other lane.  The TSA agent there looked perplexed and wondered why she was pushing the box.  Katja told me later that she’d thought they were doing some sort of cognitive impairment test. 

We took a cab from LaGuardia to my sister- and brother-in-law Ami and Bruce’s condo on the Upper West Side.  Ami and Bruce, as always, were a delight to be with.  They have had German Shepherds their entire married lives and all of their previous dogs — Gabrielle, Annabelle, Pippin, Parker — have been a little wary of people and avoidant.  Their new dog, Taylor, however, was very well adjusted and liked nothing more than giving visitors a kiss on the cheek.

In a sense, this was an art vacation.  We spent a lot of time at the city’s museums and galleries.   As always, the Met impressed me with its vastness and astonishing quality.  Katja was drawn to an exhibition of musical instruments previously owned by rock and roll performers (e.g., the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, Prince).  It was huge, and, while I enjoyed it, it began to feel redundant after the first sixty guitars.  The next day we spent several hours at the Guggenheim.  The main exhibits were by Swedish mystic Hilam af Klint and photographer Robert Mapplethorpe.  Despite my Swedish heritage, the Theosophic meanings of Klint’s abstract pieces were beyond me.  We’d last gone to a Mapplethorpe show in Cincinnati in 1990 when the local museum director was arrested on obscenity charges by the authorities.   Mapplethorpe’s photos still had some shock value though that’s diminished over the years.  We also went to the Whitney and MOMA, both incredible.  The MOMA was free after 4 p.m. that day, and the crowds surged in, with what seemed like a hundred or more people in every gallery.   

We went down to Chelsea to the Whitney Museum to see the Andy Warhol show, but it had just left.  However, their permanent collection, with Rothko’s, Hoppers, Pollocks, etc., is well worth the trip, and its outdoor terraces offer great city views.  Ami also took us to the Museum of the City of New York which had current exhibits on political activism, cycling in the city, Jackie Robinson, and graphic illustrator Don Freeman.  On our last day Katja was under the weather, and I went by myself to the AKC Museum of the Dog.   Featuring one of the largest collections of dog art in the world (paintings, drawings, sculptures), this is a must-see for dog lovers.  My only complaint is that Old English Sheepdogs were under-represented.

We went to see Don Giovanni at the Met, Katja springing for fancy first balcony seats.  She is the opera connoisseur, but even I was overwhelmed by the quality of the production.   When the opera ended with the Don burning in Hell, I didn’t expect to see anything left but ashes on the stage.  Ami then treated us to an off-Broadway production of Fiddler on the Roof in Yiddish (with English surcaps).  I haven’t been that teary-eyed in quite a while.  Katja went by herself to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, a two-part production which was scheduled at 2 p.m. and again at 7:30 p.m.  She loved it.  We met up in between and had dinner at the Mercury Bar on Ninth Avenue. 

Eating out was a delight.  We had reservations for Eléa on 85^th Street for the four of us, but Ami came down with a nasty bug, so Katja and I went by ourselves.  Delicious, good ambience, great service.  We also had the best pizza of our lives at Di Eataly in the Oculus at the new World Trade Center.)  Being at the World Trade Center site was emotion-arousing.  The Oculus, a huge contemporary structure suggesting huge soaring wings, is remarkable, and the two vast memorial pools whose borders list the names of 911 casualties are fitting memorials.  On one of our theater nights we ate at the West Bank Cafe, Ami’s favorite on 42^nd Street.   On my one meal on my own I had two plain slices of pizza and a bottle of water for a total of $2.75 at a hole in the wall near Columbus Circle.  (This is a clue about the difference between my and Katja’s dining habits.)

I’ve been back a couple of weeks at the time of writing this, and I’m still feeling a sense of loss.  There is something about the city that is so invigorating.  The giganticness of everything, people everywhere, intense sensory stimulation, and the endless array of things to do and places to go.  We could easily have done a couple more weeks.  As a young adult, New York was the only place I ever wanted to be.  That’s moderated some over the years, but the city still remains a thrill.

 Love,

Dave