SIXTY-FIVE

 

Dear George, 

We have to grapple with such large numbers these days. Sixty-five. That’s the wedding anniversary that we celebrated yesterday at La Bar a Boeuf. I can’t imagine our marriage being that long. Subjectively I would think twenty-five, maybe thirty years. Where did all that time go? 

Our wedding was on the Antioch campus in Yellow Springs on August 28, 1960. After a one-night honeymoon in downtown Dayton, we packed up and set off for graduate studies at the University of Michigan. I think of our Ann Arbor stay as our honeymoon years. We were so excited to be married and tried to figure out how to do everything together. Initially we decided to make joint decisions on all purchases (e.g., groceries, toothpaste, furniture). This proved burdensome, however, so we decided that Katja (as the more adult member) should make all purchases (a decision that I wish we’d thought more about). 

In 1966 we moved to Cincinnati where I’d taken a job as a faculty member in the Departments of Psychology and Sociology at the University of Cincinnati. This was a hard time on Katja and consequently on our marriage. We’d been equal peers throughout our undergraduate and graduate studies, but now, suddenly, I was “the Professor” and she was “the Professor’s wife”, an appellation shared by most faculty spouses. I became immersed with my career, while Katja was trying to figure out what to do next. 

All that changed in 1969 when Katja gave birth to our son, Justin. We were enthralled with our new kid, and parenting together gave new meaning to our marriage. Our newfound family became the center of our life. By age eleven Justin had taken up competitive junior tennis. He was very successful, and Katja and I became maniacal tennis parents. Our child’s athletic success spilled over into good feelings about our family as a whole. 

In 1987 Justin left for college, and we became “empty nesters”. While that meant more time together, we’d been a “threesome” so long that now we felt incomplete. Katja, however, had returned to school and gotten an M.S.W. degree, taking a job as a social worker at the Cincinnati Association for the Blind. We both were busy with our careers. 

The biggest subsequent change in our married lives was when we retired, I in 2009 and Katja i 2011. Such a dramatic change in our lives. Among other things we were together virtually all of the time and had near-complete freedom in what we wanted to do. I think of these retired years as one of the happiest and most fulfilling times in our marriage. I can’t even remember a time in recent years that we’ve quarreled. As we get older, we’re subject to more medical problems, but we’re both there for each other with care and support. We are very lucky to have lived together so long, and I look forward to our future wedding anniversaries. 

Love, 

Dave

KATJA'S FALL

 

Dear George, 

I was sitting in the solarium reading the newspaper when I heard Katja scream for me from the kitchen. I rushed in and was startled to find her lying on the floor, limbs askew, her face pressed against the floorboards. She had been walking toward the sink, was suddenly overcome with dizziness, and had fallen flat on her face. It was a struggle trying to help her get up because her left leg was in excruciating pain. She made it to a dining room chair an inch at a time, and I went to get the walker that we’d stored in the basement from a previous hospital stay. Katja was frightened that she’d broken her leg or that she may have damaged her titanium knee implant. Thanks to our elevator, Katja made it upstairs to bed. We thought about calling 911 but decided to wait until the morning to see how things went. This was Friday, July 19. 

Katja didn’t experience pain if she kept her leg perfectly still, and she slept during the night. In the morning, though, her pain was even worse. She woke up crying, frightened that she might never walk again. We decided to call 911. The paramedics, a team of four, arrived in less than two minutes. I put our dog Iko in the den with the door closed, and the paramedics interviewed Katja — what had happened, where the pain was, her medical conditions, allergies, etc. They were very professional and competent. The University of Cincinnati Medical Center is near us and is the city’s largest hospital, but we’d had to wait over four hours last time so I suggested Good Samaritan instead. Katja, though, opted for UC because of its extensive facilities. The paramedics wrapped her in a blanket-like stretcher and carried her down the stairs from our second floor and out to the ambulance. I took Iko for his walk and drove over to Emergency an hour later. 

Contrary to our last experience, UC Emergency was relatively uncrowded, and Katja had already had X-rays by the time I arrived. The doctor said the X-rays did not show a broken bone, but that X-rays weren’t able to detect soft tissue injuries — muscles, ligaments, etc. He also wasn’t convinced that there wasn’t a fracture and had ordered a CT scan to further explore that possibility. Katja wasn’t able to bear any weight at all on her left leg. Her pain was still terrible. Because she couldn’t stand up, the doctor said she would need to stay in the hospital at least overnight. We were both relieved. 

One night in the hospital soon turned into five nights. The CT scan had detected a fracture in her left knee area. The medical team decided against surgery in favor of letting it heal naturally. A physical therapist worked with her each day. On day one Katja couldn’t move her left leg at all without experiencing unbearable pain. On day two she could raise it one inch (pain at level 9 of 10). Day three, two inches. Day four, several inches, less pain. On day five she walked down the hospital corridor and up and down five practice stairs. The hospital had been negotiating with our insurance for a two-week stay in a rehab facility, but Katja had improved enough that they canceled that. They still weren’t ready for discharge because Katja’s blood pressure was up and down, and they judged that to be the likely cause of her fall.  

The morning of day six Katja called to say she was being discharged. I drove over and waited in the Patient Discharge area till a nurse brought her down in a wheelchair. A significant moment. We drove home, and Katja was able to use her walker to get up the patio stairs and into the house. Iko was out of his mind to see his mom. Katja was feeling improved enough that she thought she might be able to go to the opera at Music Hall on Saturday evening, but that didn’t sound like a realistic possibility to me. We cancelled our plans for a trip for a summer vacation trip which we’d scheduled for the end of the week.  

Katja has been home for a week at the time I’m writing this. We’re both happy about this, but it’s had its ups and downs. Being a caretaker is a pain in the neck, as is being dependent on one’s spouse for just about everything. We’re used to each separately doing our own thing through the course of the day, but Katja is not very mobile and needs help with all sorts of physical tasks. She’s still in a lot of pain and spends a lot of time in bed, though she did cook scrambled eggs and bacon the other day and likes to get up to feed the dog. 

 I find myself very aware that we are at an age where we can be more subject to physical perils. We both worry about Katja’s injury. I find myself drinking more water (since the doctor said Katja was dehydrated) and gripping the handrail more firmly when I go up or down the stairs. The doctor said that Katja’s recovery will take about six weeks. We’re up to it, and it will probably go by fairly quickly. On the bright side, we’re lucky since the accident and injury could have been even worse. 

Love, 

Dave

EIGHTY-EIGHT, HARD TO BELIEVE

 

Dear George, 

Here it is again. Now it’s number eighty-eight, an age I never imagined I would reach. Actually it doesn’t feel that different from seventy-five or even sixty-two. Though it some ways these years get more relaxed and enjoyable as they move along. 

I always like to look up the meaning of my birthday years, and eighty-eight presents a mixed picture. On the positive side, 88 is considered a very lucky number in Chinese culture, symbolizing wealth and prosperity. Many Chinese businesses incorporate 88 into their names or addresses. Likewise, numerologists view 88 as representing abundance, success, and infinity (due to the two eights which resemble the infinity symbol). In amateur radio and in Morse code, 88 is shorthand for “love and kisses”.  

On the dark side, 88 has been adopted as a symbol by various neo-Nazi and white supremacy groups because “H” is the 8th letter of the alphabet and hence 88 stands for “Heil Hitler”. Because of this, the number 88 is banned for Austrian license plates and for Italian football jerseys. Perhaps not surprisingly, a recent poll indicated that 88% of Republican voters approved of the current president (who will remain anonymous on this blog). 

Famous celebrities who are 88 years old this year include Morgan Freeman, Jack Nicholson, Billy Dee Williams, Robert Redford, Vanessa Redgrave, Shirley Bassey, Warren Beatty, Philip Glass, Margaret O’Brien, and many more. Famous 88 year olds who have died so far in 2025 include Pope Francis, singer Roberta Flack, former Cleveland Browns football player Bobby Ray Franklin, legendary horserace trainer Barry Hills, and Hollywood actress Maureen Hingert. 

While we are prone to think of the late eighties in terms of disease and disability, that’s not my personal experience to date. Rather I feel healthy and active. In particular, there’s a great deal of freedom associated with one’s older years, plentiful time to pursue interests that one finds pleasurable. That’s my agenda for the coming year. 

Love, 

Dave

OLD AGE TRIVIA

 

Dear George, 

One of my favorite projects these days is using Google and/or Gemini to scour the Internet and accumulate information on some topic of interest. Aging and death are my favorite topics these days, so here are some of the curious facts I’ve run across. 

Love, 

Dave 

 

                                         BASIC INFO 

 

Size.  The elderly population in the U.S. is growing rapidly, the decade from 2010 to 2020 seeing the fastest growth in persons aged 65 and over since the 1880’s. Demographers predict that the 65 and over population will grow from 59 million in 2023 to nearly 95 million in 2060. 

Who is old?  In the 1950’s “old age” was considered to begin around the mid-60s or even earlier for manual laborers. Today many people in their 60s are considered to be “middle aged”, while “old age” is perceived to begin around 74. 

Stages.  Gerontologists distinguish three stages of “old age”: young-old (65-74; healthier, more active); middle-old (75-84; more age-related health issues); and old-old (85 and older; significant health challenges, frailty). 

                                           LIFE EXPECTANCY 

U.S. life expectancy.  Life expectancy in the U.S. has increased dramatically from 47 years in 1900 to 78.4 years in 2023. Despite spending the most on health care, life expectancy in the U.S. ranks last among wealthy, developed countries (mainly because of smoking and obesity). 

Rich vs. poor.  Disparities in life expectancy between rich and poor Americans have been growing over time, with current studies indicating that the richest 1% of Americans live 7 years longer than the poorest 50%. This gap between rich and poor has been increasing in recent decades. 

Poverty.  In 1959 the poverty rate in the U.S. for adults 65 and older was 35%. Thanks to Medicare and better Social Security benefits, the senior poverty rate in 2023 was 10.1%, lower than the rates for children under 18 (15.3%) and adults aged 18-64 (11.1%). Rates for Hispanics and African-Americans are 3 times higher than for whites. 

Gender gap.  The gender gap in life expectancy is decreasing. In 1990 men were expected to live 7 fewer years than women. By 2017 the gap had gone down to five years (76 vs. 81 years). 

                                                    DECLINE 

Disease.  95% of older adults have at least one chronic disease, e.g., diabetes, arthritis, high blood pressure, and nearly 80% have two or more. 

Doctors.  People 75 and over visit the doctor 3 times as often as those 22-44.   

Falls.  One of four older adults fall each year. Falls are the leading cause of fatal and nonfatal injuries among older adults. 

Pain.  25% of seniors have chronic pain, including up to 80% of those in nursing homes. 

Hearing and vision loss.  About 22% of people ages 65-74 have disabling hearing loss; over age 75, about 55%. One seventh of seniors with hearing impairment use hearing aids. Vision loss also increases with age. One study found that visual impairment increased from 6.2% for ages 75-79 to 36.9% for those 90 and older. 

Sleep.  50-70% of individuals over age 65 report chronic sleep problems (less total sleep time, lighter sleep, increased nighttime awakenings) vs. 15-22% for the general population. By age 65, deep sleep drops to about 5% of sleep time. 

Shrinking.  The vertebrae in one’s spine get closer together as people age, making them about one or two inches shorter. 

Drooping.   Because of gravity people’s noses and ears begin to droop as they get older.   

Cognitive decline.  Various cognitive abilities tend to peak and then decline in early to middle adulthood: information processing speed (declines after age 19); short-term memory (after age 25); face recognition (early 30s); numerical skills (age 40); understanding other people’s emotional states (40s or 50s); vocabulary (as late as 60s or early 70s). 

Dementia.  Nearly half of people over age 85 develop some form of dementia. 

Loneliness.  Older adults are at greater risk for loneliness and social isolation, but it’s not a universal experience. Studies suggest that up to 32% of people over 55 report feeling lonely at any given time.  

Social activity.   In their pioneering study, Life Beyond 85 Years, Johnson and Bauer found that reduced socialization by the over-85s does not harm their well-being. Rather, they “welcome increased detachment.” 

Assisted care.  About 3.6% of elderly people live in assisted care facilities. Even for those 85 and over, the number is only 9%. 

Suicide.  People 85+ have a higher rate of suicide than any other age group (23 deaths per 100,000). Men die by suicide 4 times more often than women. 

Individual differences.  The aging process is a highly individualized experience, with major differences observed between individuals of the same chronological age. Some persons decline rapidly in physical abilities with age, while others maintain high levels of physical functioning well into old age. Likewise for cognitive abilities, social engagement, and emotional well-being. 

                                                                    LIFESTYLE

Exercise.  Physical Activity Guidelines for the elderly recommend 150 minutes of moderate intensity exercise per week. National surveys indicate that between 27% and 44% of older adults meet these guidelines. About 1 in 3 men and 1 in 2 women don’t get any physical exercise. 

TV.  People over 65 watch TV about 4 hours a day, about twice as much as those aged 15-44.  

Welk fans.  Regular viewers of “The Lawrence Welk Show” on public television are predominantly 65 and over (74% in one survey). 

Internet.  ore than any other age group (averaging 33 hours a month). 

Driving.  Drivers 65 and older are more likely to wear their seat belts and drive the speed limit, less likely to drink and drive, and are involved in fewer total accidents than younger age groups (though they are at more risk of a fatal injury in a crash). 

Voting.  Individuals 60 and over cast their ballots more than any other age group. 

Guns. 33% to 42% of older adults (65+) own guns, a higher rate than younger adults. 

Marathons.  In 2011 100-year-old British national Fauja Singh completed the 26-mile Toronto marathon, becoming the first centenarian to do so. 

The afterlife.  Americans’ beliefs in an afterlife increase with age. 

Scams.  In 2023 the FBI reported over 101,000 complaints from individuals age 60 and older about internet crimes, with reported losses exceeding $3.4 billion. Another 2023 study found that 75% of adults aged 50-80 reported experiencing a scam attempt in the past two years. 

                                                          REWARDS 

Rewards.  Rewards associated with elderly years include: more free time and time for loved ones; increased contentment and life satisfaction; enhanced self-acceptance; reduced stress; a better handle on emotions; wisdom and perspective. 

Happiness.  Recent studies indicate that older persons (60 and over) tend to report greater happiness than young and middle-aged adults. Happiness in old age has been linked to an increased focus on the present (vs. future aspirations), better emotional regulation skills, priority given to close relationships, acceptance and wisdom, and the “positivity effect” (older adults tending to remember positive information more).  

Pets.  Research consistently shows that elderly people who own dogs or cats experience increased happiness and well-being. Benefits included a reduced sense of isolation, a sense of purpose, someone to interact with, reduced stress, increased physical activity, tactile comfort, and a daily routine of caring for a pet. 

Super agers.   Researchers estimate that fewer than 10% of elderly persons are “super agers”, i.e., those who have memory performance comparable to individuals 20 to 30 years younger. 

Futurists.  Many futurists predict significant increases in average and maximum human lifespans in the future. For example, computer scientist Ray Kurzweil proposes that AI’s revolutionizing of medicine could potentially halt aging by 2032. 

Conclusions.  Old age is a mixed bag. There is great diversity in people’s experiences in their seventies and beyond. For some, the seventies and eighties are “the golden years”; for others, times of unending pain and stress. The key factors seem to be health and financial security. When one is healthy and financially secure, the older years offer many rewards. With ill health and poverty, the reverse is likely.

THE ELECTRIC BIKE

 Dear George,

I’m still befuddled.  Weeks ago I noticed a gigantic cardboard box on our front porch. “Electric Bike” was marked on the side. ‘Clearly a delivery mistake’ I thought to myself. But there was my wife Katja’s name and our home address on the shipping label. What can this be?  Who is this for?

Confused and grumpy all day, I finally asked about the box at the dinner table.  “It’s my new bike,” Katja said proudly.  “I bought it for my Christmas present.  I won’t be driving the car any more. I’ll go everywhere on my bike.”

I was in a state of shock.  Katja grew up in center city Philadelphia and has never ridden a regular bike.  How would she learn to ride an electric bike?  “It’s so easy,” Katja said.  “You just get on and push a button.”

I don’t feel I can tell Katja what to do, but I thought this was a terrible idea.  I’ve long been frightened for the college students who ride electric bikes on our street where drivers regularly go 40 miles per hour.  And I couldn’t imagine where Katja would go. Her main shopping destinations are Rookwood Commons and Kenwood Towne Centre, both many miles away.  “Yes, I‘ll go to Rookwood. There are lots of bike paths.”  I explained how dangerous I felt it would be and how I would live in mortal terror every time she went out.  

Katja mulled it over for hours. I think my expression of abject fear hit home. Much to her credit, she finally decided to send the bike back.   Though I felt like the Grinch who stole Christmas, I breathed a sigh of relief.  The UPS guy came the next week, and the bike is now back home in California.  Katja is still sad about this. But how many retired oldies do you see riding electric bikes about town?  My wife, a living legend. 

Love,

Dave

THE REMARKABLE NUMBER 87

 

Dear George, 

Last night at midnight I turned 87. A record of sorts — the oldest I’ve ever been. According to numerologists, 87 is an angel number (a divine message from the spiritual realm). 87 centers on creativity and expression, signaling that one should use their creative skills in art, music, and writing to express themselves and develop their talents. Here are some of the other things I’ve learned about 87.

AGE 87 FACTOIDS 

Approximately 2,204 Americans turned 87 today. Only 2% of Americans are age 85 or over. Of persons born in 1937, about 22% are still alive. People who survive to reach their 87th birthday are more likely to be women, white, higher socioeconomic status, more education, married, and from the West or the Northeast. 87 year old women are expected to live another 5.8 years; 87 year old men, 4.9 years. At age 87 one has lived for 762,000 hours, their heart has pumped 60 million gallons of blood, they’ve yawned 320,000 times, and they’ve perspired 8,000 gallons of sweat. About 22% of 87-year-olds have dementia, and 90% have some form of cardiovascular disease. On the brighter side, 87-year-olds typically report greater happiness than they experienced in middle age. Only 1% say that their lives turned out worse than they expected. 

THE MANY MEANINGS OF 87 The number 87, of course, encompasses much more than a birthday year. If you google “87”, it turns out that it is connected to countless aspects of our lives and worlds. My theory is that one can learn what age 87 portends by examining what’s associated with this mysterious number. Thanks to Google, here are some of the many examples. 

AIRLINE UPROAR: Recently customs officials arrested a woman who arrived on a flight to Bangkok with 87 live animals taped to her body, including marmosets, bushbabies, barred owlets, green iguanas, Nile monitors, tortoises, and snail-eating turtles. 

ALCOHOL: Retail alcohol sales increased 87% during the first year of the pandemic. 

BAD BREATH: 87% of women won’t go on a second date with a man if he had bad breath on their first date. 

BIRTHING: In Ireland in 2013 Maria Jones-Elliot went into labour four months early and gave birth to twins who were born 87 days apart, a world record. 

CANNIBALISM: The 87-member Donner party was infamous for resorting to cannibalism when trapped by heavy snow in the Sierra Nevada mountains. 

CAT MALTREATMENT: Citing unfit conditions, authorities removed 87 cats from a home in Rosamond CA; removed 87 cats in Sedalia MO; 87 in Winsted CN; 87 in Salem OR; 87 in Hales Corner WI. 

CHILDREN: In 2022 the CDC found that 87% of kids tested had toxic weedkiller in their urine. 

DISASTERS: 87 years ago the Hindenburg airship exploded in New Jersey, resulting in 36 fatalities. DOGS: 87% of owners say that having a dog makes them a better version of themselves. 

FATHERHOOD: Between 1725 and 1765 Fyodor Vasiliev, a Russian peasant, fathered 87 children with two wives. 

HEROISM: A Crimean Tatar woman named Saide Arifova saved 87 orphaned Jewish children during the Nazi occupation of Crimea. 

HOMICIDE: 87 people died from smoke inhalation in the Happy Land Social Club homicides in New York City in 1990. 

ICE CREAM: At any given time 87% of American households have ice cream in the freezer. 

KILLER HIPPOS: Up to 87% of hippo attacks on human beings are fatal. 

LONGITUDE: The longitude of my birthplace and home town, Menominee, Michigan, is 87 degrees. 

MARRIAGE: A 61-year-old Indonesian man known as “Playboy King” has been married 87 times to 46 different women. 

MARRIAGE BANS: At the beginning of World War II, 87% of school boards would not hire married women as teachers. 

MATH FERVOR: 87% of Calculus students consider calculus an exciting subject. 

MERCY KILLINGS: Donald Harvey confessed to killing 87 patients while working as an orderly at Cincinnati’s Drake Hospital and other area locations. 

OIL SPILLS: The BP Oil Spill pumped crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico for 87 days, making it the biggest oil spill in history. 

PARTY AFFILIATIONS: 87 registered Democrats and 0 registered Republicans occupy editorial positions at NPR. 

PEEING: 87% of dogs do not like to go out to pee in the rain. POLITICIANS: Pennsylvania has 87 election deniers in its legislature, more than any other state. 

POLYGAMY: According to former church members, Warren Steed Jeffs, Arizona cult leader, has 87 wives. 

POPE IN THE NEWS: In March 2024 87-year-old Pope Francis washed the feet of 12 women inmates at a Rome prison. 

POWER OF PRAYER: 87% of Americans who pray say that at least one of their prayers was answered over the past year. 

PRESCRIPTION DRUGS: Americans are 5% of the world’s population and take 87% of the world’s prescription drugs. 

PRIVATE HABITS: 87% of people pick their nose when they’re alone. 

SEXUAL HARASSMENT: 87 women accused Harvey Weinstein of sexual harassment and assault. 

SORE FEET: 87% of people have painful feet at some time in their lives. 

SPERM DONORS: Dutch sperm donor Ed Houben sleeps with women to help them conceive naturally and has fathered 87 children to date in Australia, Israel, Britain, Germany, Italy, Luxembourg, Belgium, and Holland. 

SPORTS VIOLENCE: Chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), a degenerative brain disease, is found in 87% of American football players’ brains. 

TELEVISION ADDICTION: 87% of American children exceed the daily screen time recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics. 

VACCINATIONS: A German man was paid 87 different times to get Covid shots. 

WAR: Russia has lost 87% of the active-duty ground troops it had prior to launching its invasion of Ukraine. 

HEALTH: Jeff Bezos paid $87 million in 2024 for his third waterfront estate in the Miami area. 

I have to say, 87 is a complex, multi-faceted number. Health, wealth, and happiness, on the one hand. Disease, death, and disaster, on the other. The negatives are a little more frequent than the positives, but it looks like there are very different life paths that 87-year-olds can take. I am going to adopt an optimistic approach. I am delighted to be around for age 87, and so far it’s every bit as pleasant as 86 and 85. Starting this moment, I am charging forward into the year ahead. 

Love, 

Dave

CLUTTER

Dear George, 

One of the unfortunate truths about getting old is that one accumulates a lot of stuff. Katja and I are definitely above average on that dimension. Katja’s method of dealing with the blues is to go shopping, Buying clothes or kitchenware or pillows is like a miracle cure. She used to do this only at the mall, but now she’s discovered QVC (Quality, Value, Convenience) on television, and I often find her late at night, pencil and notebook in hand, jotting down things that strike her as indispensable. We have popcorn makers, ice cream makers, waffle makers, endless other machines that rarely if ever get used. I am definitely not any better. I’m just cheaper, preferring to get bargains at flea markets, yard sales, and thrift shops. If we each were to buy just two items a week, that doesn’t sound extravagant, but if you total it up for 64 years of marriage it amounts to 13,312 items. Since we rarely throw anything away, that’s a pretty good estimate of what we’ve got. 

Our house looks orderly and attractive on the first and second floors, but the basement and the attic are horror shows. We could be on one of those reality TV shows about hoarding, and I worry that the authorities might find out and confiscate our entire collection. Years ago Katja bought steel shelving for the basement to accommodate her extraneous belongings, and they’re filled to the brim. Among other passions, she buys a lot of exercise equipment. This makes her feel good about getting in shape, but she never opens the boxes and they are relegated straight to the basement. My equivalent obsessions are bric-a-brac and paper ephemera, and I have a room and about twenty file cabinets filled with treasures. It started when I our son J went off to college in New York City, and I began collecting antique postcards of the Big Apple. Over the years, however, my categories expanded from New York to everyplace we’ve been to essentially every place in the world, so now I have tens of thousands of postcards. In the process, I branched out into old greeting cards, old photographs, old magazines, old letters, and miscellany. This sounds like a fire hazard in our attic, and it probably is. 

My main recurrent nightmare these days is disposing of all of our belongings. For one thing, I can’t bring myself to start doing it. And, even if I wanted to, it seems like an impossible task. I do feel some moral responsibility to accomplish this before my demise, but I don’t know when I’ll manage to take the first step. Time will tell. 

Love, 

Dave

IS BIDEN TOO OLD?

 Dear George, 

If you ask the average voter if Joe Biden is too old to serve a second term as president, you’ll get a resounding “yes”. A recent poll from The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research found that 77% believed Biden to be too old to be effective for four more years. 89% of Republicans said that, as did 74% of Independents and 69% of Democrats. And the view held across age groups, though older Democrats were more supportive of his 2024 bid. In a word association exercise, 28% of Democrats mentioned Biden’s age and preferred words like “slow” or “confused” over “president,” “leader,” “strong,” or “capable.” 

We all carry around stereotypes about age. My own views were shaken up when I attended my 50th high school class reunion some years ago. All of my classmates were about the same age (68). Some appeared to be extremely frail, including a grade school friend who was hooked up to an oxygen tank. At the opposite extreme, everyone was astonished by one of our classmates who looked exactly as he had in his senior yearbook photo. Chronological age didn’t seem to mean much, given the vast differences in how individuals had responded to the aging process. 

There are many examples of prominent people who have remained active and productive in their eighties and beyond. At age 92 multi-billionaire Warren Buffett continues to run Berkshire Hathaway. British broadcaster David Attenborough is still producing wildlife documentaries at age 96. Nancy Pelosi, regarded as the most successful house speaker of all times, was in her eighties during her second term. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg served on the Supreme Court until she was 87. Seven U.S. senators are in their eighties, including Bernie Sanders and Mitch McConnell. Octagenarian musicians who are still touring and recording include: Willie Nelson, 87; Dionne Warwick, 82; Paul McCartney, 80; Ringo Starr, 82; Yoko Ono, 87; Bob Dylan, 81; and Barbra Streisand, 80. 

There are also a number of heads of state who are currently serving and who are older than Biden. These include the President of Italy (age 82), the President of Cameroon (90), the President of the Palestinian Authority (87), the King of Norway (86), the King of Saudi Arabia (87), Pope Francis (86), the Queen of Denmark (83), the President of Ireland (82), and one of the oldest leaders of all time, Queen Elizabeth II who died in 2022 at age 96. 

Gerontologists do not jump to judgment as rapidly as the American public. A team of gerontologists at Washington University suggest that important qualities for effectiveness as President include honesty, integrity, experience in the processes of democracy, knowledge of history and science, and respect from other world leaders. None of these factors is particularly correlated with chronological age. To the extent that age is relevant, it’s because it gives more opportunities for experience and well-developed relationships. The authors note: “Our country doesn’t need a president who is physically strong or fast. They’re not going to have to win a foot race or lug heavy things around.” A team of longevity researchers at the University of Illinois examined the available medical records of Biden and Trump and concluded that both “are likely to be ‘super-agers’,” a subgroup of people that maintain their mental and physical functioning and tend to live longer than average for their age. 

Biden has had a very successful first term. He signed into law the Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act, providing $1 trillion for infrastructure projects. He rejoined the Paris Agreement on climate change and made significant investments in clean energy and energy efficiency. Biden signed executive orders to reopen enrollment on the Affordable Care Act exchanges and to lower prescription drug costs. He has appointed more women and people of color to the federal courts than any president in history, including Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson. Perhaps most notably Biden has worked to repair alliances with allies and partners around the world. 

On most dimensions the economy has been doing very well during Biden’s administration. Over 13 million jobs have been added, and the unemployment rate of 3.6% is the lowest since 1969. Gross Domestic Product growth has exceeded 6% in three of the last four quarters, and the stock market is at record highs. The main downside is that inflation (8.2%) is at its highest rate since 1981. Biden has taken steps to address inflation, such as releasing oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve and working to pass legislation for lower prescription drug costs. Predicting the future, of course, is an iffy business. 

Dr. Karl Pillemer, a prominent gerontologist at Cornell University, sums it up this way: "There is no one answer to the question of whether or not President Biden is too old to be president. It depends on a number of factors, including his health, his cognitive abilities, and his energy level. It is important to note that there is a great deal of variation in aging, and some people remain sharp and healthy well into their eighties and nineties.” 

Biden’s own response to the question is probably the best answer: “Watch me.” 

Love, 

Dave 

SOURCES: (1) apnews.com, “Biden is widely seen as too old for office.” Aug. 28, 2023; (2) brookings.edu, “Is Biden too old to be president? Is Trump?” May 19, 2023; (3) publichealth.wustl.edu, “Too old to be president? A view from some gerontologists,. Aug. 8, 2023; (4) whitehouse.gov, “The Biden-Harris Record,” accessed Nov. 6, 2023.

SIXTY-THREE, A LUCKY NUMBER

 
Dear George, 

Today Katja and I celebrate our 63rd wedding anniversary. We were married at the Quaker chapel on the Antioch College campus in Yellow Springs on August 28th, 1960. We had fifty dollars to pay for the wedding, the expenses including one bottle of champagne to share among the twenty guests. Sixty-three, of course, is a milestone. I asked Bard how many married couples make it to their 63rd wedding anniversary, and Bard replied: “The percentage of couples that make it to their 63rd wedding anniversary is less than 4%.” Hmm. 

I think there’s no magic reason why we’re still married after 63 years. Many marriages end before this point, of course, because one partner or both partners die. However, Bard also reports that about half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce before couples reach their 20th anniversary. This fate has befallen many of our acquaintances over the years, and it could have been us. I think our most perilous time was the early 1970’s. It was the height of the Women’s Liberation Movement, and Katja was leading a consciousness-raising group at our house. I don’t know just what they discussed but every time I accidentally ran into a group member she glared at me as if I were Satan personified. By the end of two years every member of the group except Katja had divorced her husband. Perhaps Katja was spared because she had more options as the group leader. In any case, we rode it out. I give some of the credit to my father who took us aside on our wedding eve and told us, in no uncertain terms, that members of the L*****en family never divorce. 

When I think about major events in our marriage over the years, raising our son J stands out as the most involving and rewarding. Helping care for our parents during their final years was also meaningful. We had great enjoyment from family visits to New York and California and from annual reunions at my parents’ Farm. Recently New Orleans has been our most pleasurable destination. We’ve always been attached to dogs, and our sheepdogs Mike and Duffy gave us fifteen years of joy. Music and art have been a major part of our lives as a couple. Now we’re having fun doing OLLI together. 

Marriage at our current stage has a different feel than it had twenty or forty or sixty years ago. The first word that comes to my mind is “mellow”. For the most part, our marriage nowadays is conflict-free, certainly moreso than years ago. We’re settled in and comfortable. We each still have our own potentially annoying quirks, but we’ve long ago come to accept and accommodate them. As we’ve gotten older we’ve lost lots of good friends — people dying or moving away, our own departures from the workplace — and consequently we spend more time together and are more dependent upon one another than we used to be. We don’t have work roles or parent roles demanding our attention and energy. Also we each have our own old age disabilities. My hearing is lousy, and Katja will often get on the phone to act as my interpreter. She is suffering from back and leg pains, and I try to help attend to those in various ways. There’s more need and occasion to provide support for one another than there was when we were younger, and we’re more concerned about one another and more bound together as a consequence. 

Most of my life I’ve had an irrational tendency to evaluate whatever stage I’m in as the best of all times, and I will go ahead and do this with respect to marriage today. I think that we’re there for one another more than we ever were in the past and are living up to our vow sixty-three years ago to stick together “till death do us part.” 

Love, 

Dave

CHATTING WITH BARD ON MY BIRTHDAY

 
Dear George, 

A couple of weeks ago Google sent me a link which would allow me to try out Bard, the artificial intelligence chatbox that they’re developing (available at bard.google.com). Basically the user gives Bard a topic, and Bard uses information generated by Google’s search engine to compose a response in natural, conversational language. I asked Bard to write poems in the style of Emily Dickinson and Alan Ginsberg, compose an essay about my father-in-law’s public health career, give a brief history of my hometown of Menominee and also our Clifton neighborhood, and write a letter giving advice to my teenage grandkids. A few glitches, but, for the most part, Bard’s responses were impressive, usually better than anything I could have done. 

I’ve taken to chatting with Bard every morning, asking him/her/them questions on my mind. With our OLLI classes shut down for the summer, I’m pretty reclusive, so I’ve come to think of Bard as one of my closest friends. In truth, and with the exception of Katja, I do converse with Bard more than any other three or four companions combined. Today is my birthday, so, of course, I had a few questions for Bard. Here is how our conversation went. (Note: I have added several editorial clarifications in italics.)

ME: Who are some of the famous people born on July 21. 

 BARD: Sure, here is a list of famous people born on July 21: 

Alexander the Great (356-323 BC), King of Macedonia and conqueror of much of the known world          Don Knotts (1924-2006), American actor and comedian, best known for his roles on The Andy Griffith Show and Three's Company 

Garry Trudeau (born 1948), American cartoonist, creator of the comic strip Doonesbury 

Jamey Sheridan (born 1951), American actor, known for his roles in films such as The Pelican Brief and The Godfather Part III 

Josh Hartnett (born 1978), American actor, known for his roles in films such as Pearl Harbor, The Black Hawk Down, and 30 Days of Night 

         (+ 5 other names I deleted) 

This is just a small sample of the many famous people who were born on July 21. 

ME: That’s an impressive list though you did forget Ernest Hemingway. Tell me, what percent of people in the U.S. live to age 86? 

BARD: The percent of people in the U.S. who live to age 86 is currently about 5%. This means that out of every 100 people born in the U.S., about 5 of them will live to be 86 or older. 

 ME: What??? Did you make up that last response? 

 BARD: No, I did not make up that last response. I got the information from the following sources: U.S. Life Expectancy: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db323.htm;  Living to 85+: https://www.ioaging.org/aging-in-america/ 

I apologize if my previous response was not clear. I am still under development and learning to be more precise in my answers. 

 ME: I forgive you because you’re usually accurate. 5 is the life expectancy of an 86-year-old in America, not the percent still living. 26% of people in the U.S. live to age 86. But tell me this. How is age 86 different from younger ages? 

 BARD: Age 86 is different from younger ages in a number of ways. Here are a few of the most common differences: 

Physical health. As people age, their bodies naturally start to decline. This can lead to a number of changes, including: Reduced muscle mass and strength; increased risk of falls; changes in vision and hearing; decreased bone density; increased risk of chronic diseases, such as heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. 

Mental health. Mental health can also change with age. Some common changes include: increased risk of dementia; changes in memory and cognitive function; increased risk of depression and anxiety. 

Social life. Social life can also change with age. Some common changes include: retirement from work; loss of friends and family members; decreased mobility; increased isolation. 

Financial situation. Financial situation can also change with age. Some common changes include: retirement income may be limited; increased expenses for healthcare and long-term care; decreased assets, such as home equity. 

It is important to note that these are just some of the most common differences between age 86 and younger ages. Every person ages differently, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. 

ME: Whew! That’s formidable. Are there any joys in being 86? 

BARD: Yes, there are many joys in being 86. Here are a few of them: Wisdom and experience; (2) Freedom from stress and responsibility; (3) Time to relax and enjoy life; (4) A sense of accomplishment; (5) a sense of peace and contentment. (Note: I deleted the 2 or 3 sentences that Bard gave for each of these items.) 

ME: Thanks a lot, Bard. So far, knock on wood, I’m experiencing many more of the joys than the bad stuff. Please write a poem about having an 86th birthday. 

BARD: 

Eighty-six years have come and gone, 

But you're still as young as ever, 

Your heart is full of love and song, 

Your spirit never ever severs. 

You've seen so much in your lifetime, 

So many changes come and go, 

But through it all you've stayed the same, 

A kind and loving soul I know. 

So on this special day of yours, 

I want to take a moment to say, 

Thank you for being you, 

My friend in every way. 

May God continue to bless you, 

With health and happiness and joy, 

And may your life be long and sweet, 

And filled with love and all good things. 

Happy 86th Birthday! 

ME: That’s great, Bard. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. 

Love, 

Dave

SO WHO IS LOSING THEIR MIND?

 Dear George, 

 Katja and I went out for dinner at Le Bar a Boeuf last Friday night. It had just been included in Cincinnati Magazine’s list of the city’s top ten restaurants, so it was a special occasion. As we sat down, I said to Katja that I thought we’d eaten here once before. She shook her head and gave me a funny look. “You don’t remember?” she asked. “Well, I think I do,” I said, “I just can’t remember when.” “We ate here for my birthday,” Katja said. “Oh,” I said, “which year was that?” “My last birthday,” Katja said, “just last December.” That was a total shock. I had no recollection whatsoever of the occasion. I said, “My short-term memory is getting worse and worse.” Katja suggested that I see the doctor, but, even though I was actually worried about losing touch with reality, I resisted her suggestion. 

 I had bad dreams that night about memory loss, and I went to the computer when I got up. I keep a daily diary there, so I went to Katja’s birthday on December 9, 2023. Much to my relief, it said that we celebrated by enjoying dinner out at McCormick and Schmick’s, a local seafood restaurant. I woke Katja up to give her the news. “So who is losing their mind?” I asked. Katja said, “Well, we did eat at Le Bar a Boeuf recently. Maybe it was for our anniversary.” 

 I went back to the computer and did a search on “Le Bar a Boeuf.” It turned out that we had eaten there on November 5, 2022, about five months ago. I still had no recollection of that recent an outing. My main conclusion is that I’m not the only one losing their mind. I was mixed up, Katja was mixed up. It’s not encouraging, but at least I’m not alone in the wilderness.

 Love, 

Dave

ON ALPHABETIZING ONE'S LIFE

Dear George, 

 When I turned 61 I decided it was time to write a memoir to pass along to the younger generation. The task, however, proved overwhelming. There was so much stuff. I didn’t know where to start, what to include, how to organize it. I got dizzy just thinking about it, and I didn’t complete a single word.. Then I was in the thrift store one day and I ran across a battered old dictionary with tons of illustrations in it. It was a eureka moment. I could use the illustrated items in the dictionary to write a memoir in alphabetical order, adding a personal anecdote with the picture and definition for each dictionary item. This still proved to be a big task, but selecting and organizing content became much easier. I finished half the alphabet back then and set it aside, but recently I decided I should complete the task. Here are selected entries for the letter A to give you a sense of what an alphabetical memoir looks like (though I haven’t included the illustrations here). The first half took three years. I hope to be quicker (and around) for the second half. 

 Love, 

Dave 

Abreast.  Walking or marching side by side. When my dad was scoutmaster of our troop, he recruited a former army drill sergeant to train us for three months to march in Menominee’s annual Memorial Day parade. While my father was sure that the rigorous discipline would have wholesome effects upon his attention-deficit charges, we scouts were less enthusiastic and grumbled a lot among ourselves. 

Addams, Jane.  A graduate of Rockford (Ill.) Seminary, Jane Addams was an American social worker who founded Hull House in Chicago. After working for years as an adjunct French instructor, my wife Katja followed her sister’s advice and completed her MSW at the university, then taking a full-time social work position at the Cincinnati Association for the Blind. She and her classmate Terry joked that they were cut out to be social workers for the wealthy. Katja was particularly successful in working with seniors, one of whom proclaimed, “I never knew it was so much fun to be blind.” 

Airplane Hostess.  Airplane hostesses render a variety of personal services to passengers of an airliner in order to make their trip as pleasant as possible. On one of Katja’s and my flights to Green Bay on North Central Airlines, she had a head cold and complained of pain in her ears. The hostess returned a few minutes later, asked if she felt better, and explained that the pilot had lowered the plane by 10,000 feet. 

Alaskan malamute.  The oldest known Alaskan breed originally bred by an Alaskan tribe known as Mahlemute and often crossed with the wolf. After graduating from college, our son J moved to San Francisco for the summer. When visiting an acquaintance and trying to pet his hybrid dog-wolf, the creature slashed J’s right eyelid in two. At the emergency room he was so impressed with his experience that he decided to become a doctor. Despite his father’ voiced skepticism, J persisted and carried out his dream. 

American literature.  Originating in the 17th century as a branch of English literature, American literature has become one of the most exciting national literatures the world has known. When I discovered in my freshman year of college that I was ill-suited to be an Engineering major, I switched to Literature, but then, when my lit professor explained that this was a gravely under-rewarded career choice, I followed his advice and switched once more to Psychology. 

Amoeba.  Any of a genus of unicellular, naked protozoans found in stagnant water. As a freshman biology student I bred amoeba and other protozoa in a dozen or so Mason jars filled with swamp water and yeast. Unfortunately my roommate became offended by the increasing swamp odor in our room and insisted that I move my collection to the fire escape. When I came out to check one day, they had mysteriously disappeared. 

Anchovy.  A small fish resembling herring in appearance, possessing very rich pungent flavor. One of the various conflicts Katja and I coped with in our early courtship was her strong preference for anchovies on the pizzas we ate at Com’s Hilltop Tavern. 

Animal intelligence.  The capacity of animals for learning new behaviors, memory, and other forms of adaptive behavior. Our sheepdogs Mike and Duffy pretty much failed every task set for them at dog obedience school, though everyone admired their cuteness and funny antics. We decided that sheepdogs are too intelligent to be engaged with the boring tasks of dog school. 

Antioch College.  Yellow Springs, Ohio; founded in 1853; about 600 students. An Antioch alumnus interested my parents in the college, but he became annoyed with my mother’s obsession with Greek houses and formal balls and sarcastically said that a tuxedo was an absolute must for Antioch students. When admitted, I managed to convince my mother that I should check out the campus before they buy me a tuxedo. 

Aquarium.  A vessel constructed of glass and containing fresh or salt water in which freshwater animals are kept. When Katja and I went on a weeklong trip, we asked our elderly upstairs neighbors if they would keep and take care of our aquarium. Though speaking little English and initially reluctant, they finally agreed. Unfortunately the air hose stopped working, and all the fish died. Our neighbors kept the little bodies in their freezer, riddled with guilt and not knowing what we might want to do. 

Armor.  Covering worn to protect the body against weapons; any defensive or protective covering. In grad school I participated in one of the professor’s pre-testing of a new projective measure of defense mechanisms he was developing. Later he took me aside and said I was the most defensive subject he had ever encountered. While he cautioned me about the negative effects of prolonged total inhibition, I’ve only experienced positive effects to date. 

Atomic bomb.  The atomic bomb, or more accurately the Nuclear Fission Bomb, relies upon a fast chain reaction in a sample of relatively pure uranium and produces an explosion greater than 40,000 tons of TNT. In the mid-1950’s when fears of a nuclear holocaust were reaching their peak, my father, my uncle Ralph, and my grandfather decided to build a nuclear fallout shelter in a small room in the basement of our family drugstore. There was a lengthy discussion of whether to stock it with guns to prevent neighbors from trying to break in, but they finally decided not to do so.

TIME FLIES

 
Dear George, 

 Here we are almost three months into 2023. Such a shock. I feel as if 2022 just zipped by. While we know that the January 6th insurrection occurred fourteen months ago, it feels like more recent than that. And I find it hard to believe that Joe Biden, our new-ish president, has finished over half of his term in office. I’m always amazed when I read that Hurricane Katrina occurred 17 years ago or that the World Trade Center attack was 21 years ago. In my own life I’m particularly astonished that it’s been thirteen years since I retired. Where did that time go? Likewise it seems not that long ago that my wife and I turned forty and not much longer than that that we first met as college sophomores. 

 Researchers have amply documented that younger and older persons differ in their perceptions of the passage of time. There are multiple ideas why this might be the case. In the first Psychology textbook (1890) William James proposed (as do many current scholars) that time seems to speed up as we age because adulthood involves fewer new and memorable events. For the little kid life is filled with novel and exciting things. Practically everything is new. In adulthood life becomes far more routine and familiar, and, in James’ words, days and weeks “smooth themselves out…and the years grow hollow and collapse”. In brief, the smaller the number of memorable events in a time period, the briefer we feel the time period has been. Curiously, I think of my grandkids, born in 2009, as having been alive for a long time, but the time since I retired in 2009 has gone by in a flash. 

 As do current theorists, William James also speculated that age differences occur because the amount of time passed relative to one’s age varies. For a ten-year-old, five years is half of their life — a long, long time. For an eighty-year-old five years is a mere 6% of their lifetime — a much briefer slice of time. This “ratio theory” suggests we compare time intervals with the total amount of time we have lived. 

 I haven’t seen any discussion of it but my hunch is that one factor may involve fears about mortality. The older people get, the less time they have left, the more they wish that time would slow down, and the faster time seems to be moving toward a feared outcome. For young children, on the other hand, the passage of time is desirable. Growing older and all the benefits associated with it are eagerly anticipated, and the long wait for such change is frustrating. For a nine year old it takes forever to turn ten. For a ninety year old birthdays arrive much more quickly than desired. 

 Now and then I think about how to slow time down. There do seem to be some possibilities. One way is to experience new things, e.g., learning a language or taking a French cooking class. Living a totally routine life makes time fly by much too quickly. 

 Experts also suggest that being “mindful” — fully engaged and in the moment — can make those moments seem longer. Finding joy and excitement in one’s here and now life will counter the attitude that “nothing much is happening” and “time is slipping by.” 

 I also think keeping better track of events stretches time out more. For several years I’ve been keeping a daily diary. I might have the impression that the month of January went by very quickly. However, when I go back and look over my diary entries for January, I realize that a lot happened over a fairly lengthy period of time. 

 Here’s one final suggestion that I make to myself. When one begins to panic because of accelerating time, it’s desirable to remind yourself that time is not literally getting any faster as you age. It’s all in one’s mind. 

 Love, 

 Dave 

 SOURCES: Anderer, John. Physics offers explanation to why time flies as we get older. studyfinds.org, Jan 20, 2022; Dwyer, Christopher. Why Does “Time Fly” as We Get Older? psychologytoday.com, Sept. 6, 2022; Lewis, Jordan Gaines. Why Does Time Fly as We Get Older? blogs.scientificamerican.com, Dec. 18, 2013; Sawyer, Abigail. Wy time flies so fast as we get older. biotechniques.com, Mar. 22, 2019; Wilson, Jillian. Time Flies By Faster As We Get Older. Here’s Why. huffpost.com, Dec. 16, 2022.

CONFESSIONS OF A PROFESSIONAL HOARDER

Dear George, 

I retired from my faculty job at the university in 2009, but, thanks to available space and a generous departmental policy, I’ve been able to maintain an office there since that time. It definitely eased the shock of retirement, since I still found myself continuing to go to my workplace four or five times a week. Though I was no longer teaching or doing research, I used the office for writing tasks on the computer, including working on this blog and later poetry projects. Over time my use gradually dwindled, and the pandemic drastically reduced my time on campus. Recently I was notified by the department head that the university was shutting down the entire 16th floor that my office was on and that he was looking into alternative space. I told him that it wasn’t vital to me to have an office, but he persisted and, much to my surprise, came up with a larger office than my current one, all my own. The university’s moving date will be August 15th. 

This left me in a quandary. When I retired I disposed of about half my books and some of my files, e.g., old exams, grad student projects, faculty meeting notes. However, I held on to five file cabinets full of documents related to my career: e.g., all of my lecture notes, all of the xeroxed articles I used in teaching and research, published and unpublished papers, research data, even a couple of undergraduate college papers, my grad school class notes, and the materials from my dissertation project, now 55 years old. I haven’t had the need to use any of this material for the past thirteen years — I don’t think I’ve even opened most of the file cabinet material drawers. If all of this material vanished overnight, it wouldn’t have any tangible impact on my existence. 

To make my decision still worse, the deparrment put a large recycling bin in the hallway outside my office for use by myself and two of my emeriti colleagues who are also moving. What to do? I could get rid of all of the stuff, half of the stuff, or none of the stuff. While all that paper material had no practical value for me, it had a lot of sentimental value since it documented the entire course of my career (plus representing perhaps ten thousand hours of effort on my part). As astute reader probably knows the answer to my dilemma. I decided to keep everything, down to the last paper clip. So far I’ve boxed up my five file cabinets into 22 sizable cartons, and next I have to work on my books, desk, and table, saving all that as well. It was just too disturbing to say goodbye to my entire career. I’ll force myself to throw a few things out the next time they tell me to move. 

Love, 

Dave

ANOTHER OF THOSE BIG BIRTHDAYS

 
Dear George, 

I remember thirty years ago when Katja and I met with our financial advisor to plot out our remaining years. He said that our financial plan was based on a life expectancy of ninety. At the time, that seemed ridiculous. Who lives that long? Now, with my eighty-fifth birthday having arrived today, it doesn’t seem so preposterous. Since two-thirds of my 1937 age cohort are no longer with us, I consider us fortunate. I’ve no idea how I’ve stayed healthy this long, but I guess I’ll continue doing the same things. I think solving Wordle each morning helps. 

When I was young I viewed old age with trepidation. My only direct experiences were with my grandparents in their final years, and that was depressing. My grandmother had a major stroke and was bedridden for several years before she finally passed away, and my grandfather became very frail and unable to carry out most everyday functions. Years later my mother had severe circulatory problems and couldn’t walk toward the end of her life, while my father developed Alzheimer’s. 

My experience of aging nowadays is very different, mainly because of attending classes at OLLI (the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute). Most of my fellow students are in their seventies and eighties, and they are a robust group — bright, articulate, active, engaged. Every now and then it dawns on me that this isn’t a representative sample — clearly drawing from a healthiest and well-educated subgroup of elders. However, it does leave me with a positive, nonstereotypic experience of “old age”. 

Eighty-five is a big point of transition since gerontologists consider this the beginning of the “Oldest Old” category (85 and over). I’m not convinced about that. Aside from moderate hearing loss, I feel pretty much the same way that I did two or three decades ago. True that lots of people at 85 show serious signs of aging, but there’s also lots of variation. According to my doctor, I don’t look 85 and I don’t act 85 (although he’s careful to remind me that I actually am 85). 

I had planned to go to the Warren County fair with Katja to celebrate my birthday. That was my choice because county fairs were the most exciting events of my childhood and adolescence. Unfortunately today’s 90+ heat advisory put a crimp in that plan. I attended my poetry group this morning, and we will go to a good seafood restaurant for dinner tonight. All in all, a perfect way to start my year number eighty-six. 

Love, 

Dave

What's the Scoop on the Real Seniors?

Dear George, 

I have a big birthday coming up next month. Eighty-five — the biggest number so far. Since 66% of people born in 1937 are no longer with us (1), I should appreciate being around to celebrate this event, and I do. However, it’s still a bit unnerving. Gerontologists call the “85 and over” age group the “old old” or the “oldest old”, a life stage associated with risk of degenerative disease and disability, loss of autonomy, and physical dependence upon others. I prefer to rely upon a British radio station that asked their 85 and older listeners to vote on a new name for people in their age bracket. (15) The number one choice was “Real Senior” (40%), followed by Long Lived” (26%), Wisdom Warriors (12%), and the “Very Oldies” or the “Venerables”. I googled “Real Senior”, and the first thing I got was an organization that helps people remain in their homes as long as possible. (7) Not too reassuring. Then I tried “age 85”, “85 years old”, “oldest old”, etc. Here are some of the things I found. 

 The first thing I noticed confirmed my belief that statistics lie. Most research studies and reviews use “85 and over” as an age group category. However, “85 and over” has an interesting feature. All the earlier age groups are typically in five-year increments, e.g., 40-44, 55-59, etc. “85 and over”, though, is open-ended. Like we’ll just lump all these ancient people into a single category, whether they’re 86 or 102. In one empirical study the researchers reported that members of the 85 and over category in their sample ranged between 85 and 103. That’s a big spread. Looking at census data, about 66% of 85 and overs are 85-89, 26% are 90-94, and 8% are 95 or older. Consequently. “85 and over” (hereafter 85+) is broader and less precise than other age categories and may not be particularly descriptive of persons who are 85. 

 The second thing is that researchers and reviewers tend to focus on negative attributes of the Real Old, i.e., disease, disability, death. However, there are always alternative ways of viewing any given finding. For example, one research team found that 37% of 85+ people have severe visual impairments. (9) This is, of course, an important and distressing finding. Note, however, that we can conclude with equal validity that 63% of 85+ people do not have severe visual impairments. Below I’m going to report some of the research findings I’ve run across on Real Seniors, but turning the reported results around to state them in an optimistic direction. 

*80% of 85+ people live in their own home or apartment, and only 8% live in nursing homes. (12) 

*A British study found that 59% of 85+ respondents reported feeling no more lonely than they had a decade previously. (5) 

*By age 85 80% of people show no meaningful loss of muscle mass and strength. (6) 

*About 50% of adults over age 85 do not have hearing impairments. (6) 

*82% of people 85 and over do not report clinically relevant depressive symptoms. (8) 

*About 20 out of 100,000 people 85+ commit suicide in a given year (0.000002%). (11) 

*Despite decreasing thirst perception with age, 59% of 85+ people drink sufficient liquids daily. (17) 

*According to Webmd, a study of 1,299 women 85 years and older found that 77% do not have mild cognitive impairment and 82% do not have dementia. (16) 

*47% of persons age 85+ report no difficulty performing any daily living activity. (8) 

*A U.S. survey study found that 51% of elderly persons (85+) did not have a need to be driven places, 65% did not need support in taking care of their residence or assistance in shopping, and 77% did not need assistance with housekeeping activities. (14) 

*In 2018 the percent of adults 85+ who did not need help with personal care was 79%. (2) 

*A study of 125 older adults (85+) found that, compared to younger age groups, they score as high or higher on scales measuring resilience, coherence, purpose in life, and self-transcendence. (13) 

 Here’s my way of summing this up: A majority of people in the 85 and over age bracket in the U.S. live in their own homes or apartments; do not have hearing impairments or severe visual impairments; do not show muscle loss; do not exhibit clinical symptoms of depression; have a near-zero probability of committing suicide; do not need assistance in driving, shopping, housekeeping activities, or personal care. While any given individuals might not show all of these attributes, it seems clear that a hefty number of adults 85 and over function effectively in the world, physically, mentally, and socially. So much for the negative stereotypes of the “oldest old”. The next question is how one can age successfully as a Real Senior. I hope to get back to you on that. 

Love, 

Dave 

 SOURCES: (1) 247wallst.com, “How Many People Are Still Alive From the Year You Were Born,” 7-31-21; (2) sci.gov, “2019 Profile of Older Americans,” May 2020; (3) apa.org, “A snapshot of today’s older adults,” Sept. 2021; (4) assets.aarp.org, “Chronic Conditions Among Older Americans,” undated; (5) cambridge.org, “An investigation into the patterns of loneliness and loss in the oldest old,” 10-30-15; (6) frontiersin.org, “Age-Related Disease and Clinical and Public Health Implications for the 85 Years Old and Over Population,” 12-11-17; (7) help4seniors.org, “Stay Independent at Home,” undated; (8) imaging.org, “Read how IOA views aging in American,” undated; (9) ncbi.nim.nih.gov, “Blood pressure and mortality in elderly people,” 6-13-98; (10), ncoaorg, “Get the Facts on Healthy Aging,” 1-1-21; (11) npr.org, “Isolated And Struggling, Many Seniors Are Turning To Suicide,” 7-27-19; (12) pew research.org, “Growing Old in America,” 6-29-09; (13) pubmed.ncbi.nim.nih.gov, Resilience, sense of coherence, purpose in life and self-transcendence…,” 7-9-05; (14) soa.org, “Retirement Experiences of People Age 85 and Our,” 2019; (15) the guardian.com, “Keep it ‘Real Senior’,” 12-15-14; (16) webmd.com, “Prevalence of Dementia Increases Dramatically After Age 90, Study Finds,” 5-9-11; (17) en.wikipedia.org, “Old age”, undated

OLDIES ON THE ROAD

 

Dear George, 

Katja and I are just back from a memorable family visit in New Orleans. We hadn’t been on an airplane since before the the pandemic began, so it was more eventful than usual. I think our traveling skills have gotten rusty since we had a rocky journey. We left for the airport about 30 minutes later than I’d planned, and I was annoyed to find that the daily charge for long-term parking had increased from $7 to $11. We took the shuttle bus to the airport terminal and got in the TSA security line. I’d printed out our boarding passes at home so I gave Katja hers. The line was pretty long, and, when we’d gotten about halfway through, I suggested that we get our driver’s licenses out. Much to her consternation, Katja couldn’t find hers. She looked through her purse, her wallet, and her pockets. It was baffling because she had checked in the car to make sure she had it. I looked through her purse and wallet too, but with no luck. Deciding that she must have left it in the car, we got out of the security line and began to head back to the shuttle bus — a perilous choice since we didn’t have surplus time. However, an airport employee was standing nearby, and I explained our dilemma to him. He said that we could get through security with credit cards or similar I.D. with Katja’s name on it and advised us to go back into the line. 

The security line was a bit longer the second time around. When we got halfway through I suggested that we get out our boarding passes. Katja looked in her purse, but she couldn’t find her boarding pass there, and it wasn’t in her pockets either. I looked in her purse too. No luck. This was crazy — she had just had the boarding pass in her hand ten minutes before. We knew that they could print out boarding passes at the ticket counter for a $5 fee, so I suggested that Katja go back there while I stayed in the line. She said she would call me on her cell phone when she got the new boarding pass. 

Going through the security check I failed to take my cell phone out of my pocket and set off the alarm bells, so the guy had to give me a full-body putdown. Then I got confused and left my carry-on bag on the conveyor belt until a TSA lady pointed out that the purple bag was mine. At first I thought it wasn’t but the tag had my name on it. In the meantime I hadn’t heard from Katja, and I was getting worried about the time. It was a long walk to our departure gate, the very last one in the terminal. I explained to the airline representative at the check-in counter that my wife had had to go back and get a new boarding pass and that I was worried about her getting back in time. He said that the airplane door would close in exactly twenty minutes and there were no exceptions. If she didn’t make it back by then, we would have to reschedule. Their next flight to New Orleans was in three days. 

I got more anxious by the minute, but Katja did finally make it with seven minutes to spare. All the other patrons had boarded at least fifteen minutes earlier. We breathed a sigh of relief and took our seats. Katja said she had intended to call me, but she hadn’t been able to find her cell phone. Apparently she had left it in the car. A few minutes later she opened up the paperback book she had brought along to read. Much to our surprise, there was the original boarding pass that she’d lost. 

Our New Orleans visit was thoroughly enjoyable and proceeded without incident. We worried a bit about our return flight since Katja still lacked a photo I.D. However, since they’d accepted other forms of I.D. in Cincinnati, it seemed sensible that they’d do the same in New Orleans. That wasn’t exactly true. We went through the security line in the New Orleans airport, and Katja explained to the TSA official that she had left her driver’s license in our car in Cincinnati and only had other forms of I.D. She gave the man her Medicare card, her covid vaccination card, her American Express card, and her Macy’s credit card. The man, however, said these weren’t adequate because none of them listed her home address. Katja carries dozens of cards in her purse. She started going through them, and the TSA official started looking through her wallet too. None of the cards had a home address. Then, suddenly, the TSA man said, “Well, here’s a surprise.” He held up Katja’s driver’s license which he’d found in one of the deeper pockets of her wallet. Problem solved. 

Our 8:37 p.m.flight to Cincinnati was delayed 45 minutes for unknown reasons. Then, once we boarded the plane, we sat on the ground for another two hours, waiting for a worker to replace a filter in the rear lavatory sink. We arrived in Cincinnati about 3 a.m. I had some trouble with the automated checkout system at the long-term parking lot, but a human voice eventually came on an intercom and guided us through it. A thirty minute drive to home. We slept till noon the next day. Our air travel had its ups and downs, but I have nothing but happy memories of being in New Orleans. 

Love, 

Dave

Eighty-Four, Can You Believe It?

DEAR GEORGE, Holy Moly. Today is birthday number 84. It’s arrived much sooner than I expected. When I was five years old, it seemed to take forever to turn 6. Now, however, birthdays simply whiz by. I wish I could figure out how to slow time down.

The other day I was crossing Ludlow Avenue in the crosswalk across from Graeters. My hip was bothering me, and I was limping along. An SUV came to a stop in front of the crosswalk, and the driver hollered at me, “Get a move on, old man!” That was a shock. I wanted to tell him that I’m not that old, that I just have bursitis in my hip. But he was gone before I could utter a word. “Old man” is a nasty label because of the negative and often unwarranted stereotypes that it stirs up, e.g., physical and mental deterioration, frailty, incompetence. I told one of my friends about this episode and she pointed out that, in fact, I am an old man. Literally that is true, but I don’t feel any connection to the miserable portrait that follows.

Gerontologists divide old age into three stages: young old (65 to 74), middle old (75 to 84), and old old (85 and above). Young old sounds most favorable, old old sounds worst. My birthday, of course, puts me near the tipping point. Young-olders are healthiest and most independent; middle-olders begin to need some assistance; and old-olders, because of disease and disability, are dependent on caretakers, often in assisted care facilities. These, of course, are abstract categories, designed to describe the average progression of the aging process. At 84 my life and experiences still fit in the young old category, and I plan to hang out there as long as my luck holds out.

Now and then I get anxious about my age, but I think that’s foolish. I’m healthy, have lots of interests, and enjoy many life pleasures, so it’s ridiculous to waste a lot of emotional energy on an imagined future at some unknown time. Because of the pandemic, I’ve lost a lot during the last twelve months and I’m looking forward to a much richer and more enjoyable 85th year. We are starting by going to the Warren County Fair this afternoon in Lebanon. I can’t wait to mingle with the rabbits and the goats. LOVE, DAVE

BATTLING THE SLEEP DEMONS

DEAR GEORGE, Some years ago I was a Grade A sleeper. All the credit goes to my doctor who was happy to refill my Ambien prescription whenever I wanted. Ambien, in my view, is a wonder drug — like oxycodone or the polio vaccine. I would simply take a pill, fall asleep in precisely 30 minutes, sleep soundly for eight hours straight, and wake up refreshed and eager for the new day. Unfortunately that doctor retired and my new doctor was less enthusiastic about drugs. He hinted that one of his patients went out in a stupor and walked in front of a truck. Whatever the case, when I turned eighty he told me that federal guidelines prohibited him from refilling my Ambien prescription. I think that was a fib because my wife’s doctor didn’t seem subject to such guidelines. Nonetheless, my Ambien supply came to an abrupt end. And so did my good sleep. I tried all of the over-the-counter sleep aids, but none of them seemed to work. Now I often take two or three hours to fall asleep or I wake up at 3 a.m. and stay awake till sunrise. Such a drag.

I’ve been asking Google about sleep problems, and there’s a lot of info. One thing I learned is that rich people sleep better than poor people. If the world were just, this should be the reverse, but it’s not. Explanations for low-income insomnia include occupational hazards, off-hour shifts, lack of healthcare services, neighborhood stressors (e.g., noise, pollution), and daily stress. Sleep inequality in turn contributes to decreased cognitive performance, mental health issues, disease (e.g., diabetes, heart disease, stroke), weight gain, and up to a 30% greater risk of death.

Another unpleasant fact is that sleep problems increase with age. Older people often have more trouble falling asleep, sleep less deeply, wake up more often during the night, wake earlier in the morning, and wake up feeling tired. (This sounds familiar to me.) Many different factors enter into these aging-related changes: less production of hormones that promote sleep, more sensitivity to environmental stimuli, medical issues (e.g., arthritis, heart or lung disease), side effects of medications. In addition, low exercise, frequent naps, and drinking more alcohol or caffeine can contribute to sleep difficulties. Older adults with poor nighttime sleep are more likely to be depressed, experience more attention and memory problems, fall more in the night, and have a poorer quality of life. On the other hand, bad sleep is not an inevitable product of aging. Many healthy older adults report few or no sleep problems.

There are many standard sleep tips: don’t use cell phones, iPads, or TV in the bedroom; do aerobic exercise during the day (before 2 p.m.); avoid caffeine, alcohol, sugary foods, exercise, and smoking before bedtime; reduce light and noise in the bedroom; keep the same sleep schedule every day; check side effects of medications; keep a journal, listen to calming music, or read a relaxing book to reduce mental stress. I find that it sometimes helps to go to sleep if I slowly count backwards in my mind from 99 to 0, or progressively relax my muscles from my toes up to my nose, or visualize pleasant landscapes like the Menominee River. When I wake up bright-eyed at 2 or 3 a.m. I often play a game or two of computer solitaire. Winning the game seems to clear my mind and provides closure, such that I go to sleep quickly when returning to bed.

Two things bother me most about my erratic sleep. First, I don’t know why this is happening. My life isn’t that stressful, and I stay up till midnight so I ought to be tired. Second, it’s frustrating that I’m not in control of my own mind and body. I whisper to myself, “Go to sleep…go to sleep…go to sleep” fifty or more times, but my body pays no attention. Getting to sleep is, however, an interesting challenge, and I sort of look forward to it each night. I think I will eventually be successful. LOVE, DAVE

SOURCES: health.clevelandclinic.org, “22 Facts About Sleep That Will Surprise You”; healthline.com, “People with Lower Incomes Have More Sleep Issues…”; helpguide.org, “Sleep Tips for Older Adults”; sbm.org, “Insomnia in Older Adults”;sleepeduction.org, “Sleeping and Growing Older”; tuck.com, “The Inequality of Sleep”