CUTTING TIES: A NASTY BUSINESS

Dear George, 

I have a huge decision to make. When I took a job as a social psychologist at the university I held a joint appointment and had separate offices in Psychology and Sociology. I retired some forty plus years later and moved out of my Psychology office. However, Sociology had access to some vacant space in their high-rise building, and they offered me a new office as an emeritus faculty member. Though the department was on the tenth floor and my new office would be on the thirteenth floor, it suited my purposes and I took them up on it. I like having a place to work other than home, and having an office at the university made my transition into retirement much easier. I went into work regularly — I just didn’t get paid. None of the other retired faculty were interested in an office, so I got to have my own space. Perhaps the biggest attraction for me was that I didn’t have to dispose of the five large file cabinets full of stuff that I’d accumulated throughout my career. Tons of lecture notes, data and records from research projects, published and unpublished papers, assorted graduate student files, miscellaneous angry memos, and my library of a couple hundred books. I’ve used my emeritus office mainly for writing — most recently for poetry, OLLI writing classes, stories for my blog, and papers for my writers’ group. While I had occasional contact with former colleagues on the tenth floor when I first retired, that’s declined over the years, and my visits have become less frequent and more solitary. 

Recently I got an email from the Sociology department head saying that in August the department will move to a different building on campus. The head said that I could have office space in the new location though it would be shared with several adjunct faculty members. She added the adjuncts spend little time at the office. I went over and looked at the space. It’s much smaller than my current office, with room for one desk and one or two file cabinets at best. It didn’t seem to me that two people could use it at the same time. This office will be right in the middle of the department, allowing for more potential contact with faculty and staff, though I’m not attracted to that. Now I am pondering what to do. It’s a quandary. The most clearcut option is to discontinue office space on campus, discard all the stuff I’ve accumulated over the decades, and move a few things home to our crowded attic. I can write poetry at home just as well as on campus. That choice, however, would close down one of the main places outside of home in which I spend time. Alternatively I could move a few things to the new office and see whether I want to spend time there. Part of me says it’s better to have crummy office space on campus than no office at all. I waver back and forth on a daily basis. I have started to throw things away, and I must say it’s been brutal so far. Fortunately I have some time available to make a final decision. 

Love, 

Dave

CONFESSIONS OF A PROFESSIONAL HOARDER

Dear George, 

I retired from my faculty job at the university in 2009, but, thanks to available space and a generous departmental policy, I’ve been able to maintain an office there since that time. It definitely eased the shock of retirement, since I still found myself continuing to go to my workplace four or five times a week. Though I was no longer teaching or doing research, I used the office for writing tasks on the computer, including working on this blog and later poetry projects. Over time my use gradually dwindled, and the pandemic drastically reduced my time on campus. Recently I was notified by the department head that the university was shutting down the entire 16th floor that my office was on and that he was looking into alternative space. I told him that it wasn’t vital to me to have an office, but he persisted and, much to my surprise, came up with a larger office than my current one, all my own. The university’s moving date will be August 15th. 

This left me in a quandary. When I retired I disposed of about half my books and some of my files, e.g., old exams, grad student projects, faculty meeting notes. However, I held on to five file cabinets full of documents related to my career: e.g., all of my lecture notes, all of the xeroxed articles I used in teaching and research, published and unpublished papers, research data, even a couple of undergraduate college papers, my grad school class notes, and the materials from my dissertation project, now 55 years old. I haven’t had the need to use any of this material for the past thirteen years — I don’t think I’ve even opened most of the file cabinet material drawers. If all of this material vanished overnight, it wouldn’t have any tangible impact on my existence. 

To make my decision still worse, the deparrment put a large recycling bin in the hallway outside my office for use by myself and two of my emeriti colleagues who are also moving. What to do? I could get rid of all of the stuff, half of the stuff, or none of the stuff. While all that paper material had no practical value for me, it had a lot of sentimental value since it documented the entire course of my career (plus representing perhaps ten thousand hours of effort on my part). As astute reader probably knows the answer to my dilemma. I decided to keep everything, down to the last paper clip. So far I’ve boxed up my five file cabinets into 22 sizable cartons, and next I have to work on my books, desk, and table, saving all that as well. It was just too disturbing to say goodbye to my entire career. I’ll force myself to throw a few things out the next time they tell me to move. 

Love, 

Dave

AN IMAGINED CONVERSATION WITH ARNIE EPPO

 
Dear George, 

It seems like every ten years or so I run into Arnie Eppo, one of my high school friends who lives in lower Michigan. Arnie’s always curious about my goings on and asks me lots of questions. Here’s a sample of how our conversation goes. (This, of course, is recreated from memory and imagination, so some parts may reflect a real-life conversation more than others.) 

Love, 

Dave 

 Arnie (A): So you’ve been retired for quite a while now. 

D (Dave): It’s actually been thirteen and a half years. Whew! That’s gone by so quickly. I’m trying to figure out some way of slowing time down. 

 A: I know the feeling. How has it gone so far? 

D: At first I would usually say that I liked working better, mostly because I missed contact with colleagues. But now I find retirement much more relaxing and less stressful. No bosses, no demands, I enjoy lots of freedom and spend my time doing things that give me pleasure. 

 A: Do you miss teaching? 

D (laughs): Actually I never wish that I were back in a classroom. I always found teaching stressful, even though I think I did o.k. at it. Every now and then I walk past my old classroom and feel a momentary pang of nostalgia. But it’s very momentary.

 A: I know you’ve also been married over sixty years. That’s pretty amazing. 

D: It is amazing. Katja’s really the first girl I ever dated seriously. I knew from the minute I saw her that she was the person I wanted to marry. It was a rocky process though. I was such a shy, introverted kid. Katja’s parents were certain that we would get divorced, and her father told my father that on the night before our wedding. My dad told us in no uncertain terms that nobody in our family had ever been divorced (and that no one ever would). It made a big impression. It probably helps account for why we’ve made it through sixty-two years. 

 A: You and Katja must share a lot of similarities to have stayed together so long. 

 D: If anything, it’s probably that old truism that “opposites attract”. Katja’s from Philadelphia; I’m from Menominee. She went to a prestigious big-city college prep school; I went to a small-town public high school. Her parents were staunch Roosevelt Democrats; mine, Eisenhower Republicans. She grew up with classical music; my family listened to big bands and jazz. Katja is very free with money; I’m very stingy.  She's very outgoing; I'm very introverted.  We did, of course, both go to Antioch College, we agree on most political and social issues, and we were both attracted to academic careers. But basically we’re more different than we are similar. 

 A: It’s sort of strange that you wound up going to Antioch, such a hotbed left-wing politics. 

D: It is strange. My conservative parents picked out Antioch for me based on conversations with an Antioch alumnus who worked at Ansul Chemical Co. in Marinette. But I don’t think they had any idea of the college’s political orientation. The alumnus reassured my mother that that there was a strong Greek system at Antioch (totally untrue) with ballroom dances practically every weekend (equally untrue). Needless to say, my first year at Antioch involved a total culture shock. I think I was probably the only student from the U.P. to ever attend Antioch. 

 A: Are you glad you went there? 

D: Definitely yes. It was an eye-opening experience, and my fellow students were exceptional – intelligent, value-oriented, creative. In many ways the most exceptional people that I’ve met during my life. Antioch, without a doubt, changed my life in important ways and shaped all that was to come, including my marriage, my career, and even our long-time residence in Cincinnati (which I picked in part because of its proximity to Yellow Springs). 

 A: So you met Katja at Antioch? 

D: Yes, I first saw her across the lawn at a freshman mixer, and she was so pretty and gregarious that I decided on the spot that she was the girl I would like to marry. I was much too shy to say hello, but I watched her from a distance for the next year and a half. By chance, I was on my first coop job in Madison, while two of my freshman hallmates and Katja were working at mental hospitals in Milwaukee. I came down for a weekend with my friends, met Katja, and things just developed from there. 

 A: How did you win her over? 

D: I can’t imagine. It’s amazing. Katja was very popular, and she told me at one point that 18 of our college classmates had proposed to her during her freshmen year. Not all of these proposals were serious, but some of them were. On our first date I told her that I’d thought that she was the person I’d like to marry the first time I saw her. Katja got really angry and said that that was the worst line she’d ever heard. I, of course, was completely serious. 

 A: Then what happened? 

D: At the end of our three-months stays in Madison and Milwaukee, I invited Katja to come home to Menominee with me over quarter break, and she accepted. I think she didn’t want to go home to Philadelphia. In any case, she was very taken with my parents and their friends, and they with her. My mother told her that she was the first girl that I had ever brought home. Katja wondered what she’d gotten herself into. 

 A: How about your son J? 

D: He probably thinks we’re sort of a weird couple. Like his mom, J is more gregarious and has better social skills than I do. He likes to travel like Katja does. Temperamentally, he’s may be a little more like me. As a teenager J would sometimes say that he’s a sort of balance between the two of us and that it wasn’t easy for him to integrate these opposite influences. 

 A: So, unlike your parents, you wound up having just one child. 

D: Yes, I think that was mainly Katja’s preference, though I went along with it. J often wishes that he had siblings, although when we asked him as a kid, he wasn’t interested. There were some advantages to having a solo child. In contrast to my own family which was sharply divided into separate parent and child sub-groups, Katja, J, and I operated pretty much as a cohesive threesome, and I think J wound up a lot more mature as a result from all that adult interaction. When J went off to college, he went sort of wild in immersing himself in his peer culture, something he’d never done in the process of growing up in Cincinnati. 

 A: Now, of course, you’re grandparents. 

D: Yes, that’s the biggest life change for us in our older years. Our grandchildren, A and L, are very bright and interesting. They’ll turn fourteen in September, are a lot more mature than we ever were at that age, and are doing very well in school. I’m sorry that they’re so far away in New Orleans, and the pandemic has put a crimp in our traveling. I hope we’ll do more trips during the coming year.

A Plug for the Golden Years

Dear George, 

I wonder when I first ran across the notion of “The Golden Years”.  Maybe sometime in my twenties.   From the outset it struck me as a lie, manufactured to delude old people into feeling better about the horrors of aging.  Recently I found out that the phrase was actually coined for a 1959 advertising campaign for Sun City, Arizona, the nation’s first large-scale retirement community.  So it was a sort of lie after all.

Now that I’m well into the Golden Years, I find myself reevaluating the matter.  I turned 82 last July, but the early eighties, so far, have no connection to the frightening fantasies I harbored as a young adult.  My life, like that of many of my age-peers, is similar to our earlier adult years, but also more desirable in a variety of ways.  My opinions about aging have been shaped a lot by my experience in OLLI classes at the university where most of my classmates are in their seventies and beyond.  These persons tend to be bright, inquisitive, engaged, and enthusiastic.  Nothing like ageist stereotypes.  While we all know that the final years of life can involve decline and disability, I’m more struck by the positives that are associated with growing older (associated with retirement as much as with biological age per se).  Here are some of the pluses that I associate with the Golden Years.    

Completion.  I think that one wonderful thing about the 70s and beyond is that one has completed (or largely completed) many of their major life tasks.  For myself, I feel good about growing up in our family, my education, my career, marriage, parenting, many friendships.  Along with a sense of accomplishment, I’m no longer troubled by the strains that necessarily came along with these largely completed life roles.  A mixture of pride, relief, and contentment. 

Freedom from authority.  For most of the past decades of my of life I, like just about everybody, was subject to the dictates of parents, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures.  With a couple of exceptions (e.g., my wife and my doctor), these hierarchical relationships pretty much ended upon my retirement at age 71.  No orders, no supervision, no annual reviews, no performance monitoring.  I sleep late when I want to, pick activities I find pleasurable.  I’m largely in charge of my daily routine and, with that, comes a rewarding sense of control that was less evident in earlier life stages.   

Lowered stress.  I spent my career teaching and doing research in social psychology.  It was a good choice from me, but each year that I’m away from the workplace, the more I’m aware of how stressful my work world was.  I found classroom teaching to be anxiety-provoking.  Pressures for research and publication were a constant source of stress.  Managing relationships with a few dozen colleagues was often rewarding, but could also be unpleasant.   One of my work friends took early retirement and was convinced that it reduced his blood pressure and added ten years to his life.  I know the feeling.  It’s not that retired life is stress-free, but many earlier sources of pressure have lessened or vanished.

Less self-consciousness.    I’ve always been a rather shy, socially anxious person, though my sense is that this has decreased with age.  At this stage of life I have less need to create favorable impressions and am less concerned with what others think of me.  My sister commented a while back that I seem to have become more outgoing as I’ve gotten older, then added (tongue in cheek, of course) that that’s a regrettable development.

New Life Roles.  Being an older, retired person is a new life role, in and of itself, requiring problem-solving and creative adaptation.  Basically one is faced with the challenge of building a new life.  Being a grandparent is my most exciting and enjoyable new role, though less frequently in play for us because of geographical distance.

Wisdom and experience.  There’s probably a kernel of truth about wisdom being associated with seniorhood.  The older people are, the more things they’ve experienced, the more crises they’ve worked through, the more places they’ve been, and the more life stages they’ve traversed.  It’s kind of like visiting a museum.  By the end of childhood you’ve seen a couple of the galleries, but by your seventies or eighties you’ve gone through the whole place a couple of times. 

Growing old together.  Katja and I celebrate our 60th wedding anniversary this coming August.  Couples age and go through life stages just as individuals do.  We have both become more attuned to the hazards of aging and probably worry more about one another’s well-being than about ourselves.  I think we both appreciate that, and it makes for closer bonds.

Thankfulness.  Given average life expectancies in our society (currently about 79), I’m thankful to still be around, and I look at each passing day as a privilege and an opportunity.  A few setbacks or disabilities here and there are quite tolerable. 

Having written this, I’m feeling more enthusiastic about age-related matters.  In some respects, I find this the happiest time of life.  Of course it all depends.  Elderly persons may live in dire poverty, incur painful and life-threatening diseases, become disabled, be subject to elder abuse.  The “golden years” really refers to the post-retirement stage when individuals are relatively healthy and their activities are governed by their interests and desires rather than by health and safety concerns.   According to research summarized on webmd.com (2), the keys to a high-quality life after age 65 are good health, sufficient money, and finding one’s life meaningful.  Katja and I are doing o.k. on these dimensions (though health can bounce around a bit and meaning is sometimes elusive).  Here’s to our next adventure.

Love,

Dave 

SOURCES:

(1) rowleylegal.com.  “The Term ‘Golden Years’ Was Coined In 1959 As An Advertising Pitch For Sun City”  (Aug. 3, 2014) 

(2) webmd.com.  “What Makes the Golden Years Great?”  (May 31, 2007)

Birthday Mullings

Dear George, 

Such a shock.  I woke up today, only to discover that I’m suddenly 82 years.  Who would have thought?   Now that I’m here, my main impression is that 82 isn’t nearly as old as it used to be.   Aside from some irritating hearing loss, I don’t really have many impairments to complain about, and I don’t feel much different from when I was 50 or 60 (with the exception of enjoying all the blessings of retirement).  I ran across an online article recently in which an expert predicted that people in the near future will be living to 150.  If that’s the case, I’m wondering if I might still be middle-aged. 

Actually I have no idea what to think about age 82.  It could turn out to be great, it could be a total disaster.  To get a better grip on things, I decided to check with the I Ching.  The I Ching is an ancient Chinese book of wisdom, dating back about 3,000 years.*   To consult the I Ching, the individual asks a question, then tosses a set of coins six times in a row.  Each coin toss results in a broken or an unbroken line.  (Three heads or three tails result in special lines and are given their own interpretation.)  The six lines, stacked vertically, make up a hexagram (see the example below).  There are 64 hexagrams possible, each divided into an upper trigram and a lower trigram.  Each of the 64 hexagrams represents a different life situation.  The I Ching gives an interpretation for each, describing a life situation, providing imagery for thinking about it, and suggesting effective courses of action.

My question for the I Ching was, “How do I approach age 82?”  I tossed the coins six times and wound up with Hexagram 14 (shown above).  It’s named Ta Yu in Chinese and “Possession in Great Measure” (or “Abundance”) in English.  The upper trigram is LI (The Clinging, Flame), and the lower trigram is CH’IEN (The Creative, Heaven).  Thus the hexagram represents fire over heaven.  The Image for Ta Yu reads: 

Fire in heaven above:

the image of POSSESSION IN GREAT MEASURE

Thus the superior man curbs evil and furthers good,

And thereby obeys the benevolent will of heaven.      

According to the I Ching’s commentary, the fire above heaven (the sun) “shines far, and all things stand out in the light,” resulting in abundance on a grand scale.   Strength (the lower trigram) and clarity (the upper trigram) unite in Hexagram 14.  “The time is favorable — a time of strength within, clarity and culture without.”  Ta Yu is perhaps the most positive of the I Ching’s hexagrams.  It symbolizes a period of great abundance where everything is going well for the person.  The abundance can involve many different things, e.g., work success, finances, material objects, talents, time, food.  All obstacles have disappeared for the individual, and life is to be enjoyed. 

One of my coin tosses (three tails) resulted in a special line called “Nine in the second place”.  “Nine in the second place means: A big wagon for loading.  One may undertake something.  No blame.”  According to the I Ching, loading the big wagon means that one’s undertakings can be pursued without trouble or error.  The person possesses the resources to accomplish their tasks and reach their goals. 

I nearly always find I Ching readings to be on target and to offer food for thought.   In this case, “Possession in Great Measure” was most encouraging about my new age and life status.  While I’m usually gloomy and apprehensive about the aging process, the I Ching reading steered me toward a much more optimistic outlook.  Thinking about the theme of Ta Yu, I recognized more clearly that my current life is characterized by great abundance.  Thanks to a corporate retirement plan, Katja and I enjoy financial security.  I have much more leisure time than I ever had during my worklife.  I pursue more interests and activities — e.g., poetry, creative writing, exercise classes, OLLI classes, camping/hiking, photography, music and art.  I’m happily married; we appreciate our beautiful home; we live in a stimulating neighborhood.  Our son and daughter-in-law are successful and fun; our grandchildren are growing up wondrously.  There are few external pressures or “obstacles” in my life.  Basically I’m free to enjoy my world in my mellow elder years — “Possession in Great Measure”.  

I particularly liked the line about “Loading the big wagon.”  A few weeks ago our 2003 Chevy SUV broke down, and we replaced it with a sparkling new Honda CR-V.  It’s a big wagon, designed to carry a big load.  I expect to travel more than we have recently, and we are excited about the prospect of many new adventures.  So far age eighty-two looks to be a year of abundance. 

Love,

Dave   

*The I Ching or Book of Changes.  Wilhelm/Baynes edition.  Bollingen Series XIX.  New York: Pantheon Books, 1950.  

Weinberger, Eliot.  What Is the I Ching?  The New York Review of Books, Feb. 25, 2016.  (www.nybooks.com) 

Retirement Facts

Dear George,

In a couple of weeks, I’ll be celebrating the six-year anniversary of my retirement from the university.  That certainly whizzed by quickly.  I do feel I’ve settled into a reasonable new life path, though retirement is a huge transition, probably equivalent to marriage or the birth of one’s first child.  After 43 years in my workplace, I’m aware of big losses as well as opportunities to remake a life of my own choosing.  For years beforehand I quizzed older colleagues and acquaintances about their retirements, and, with few exceptions, they were enthusiastic, even exuberant.  One knowledgeable female friend, though, warned me that retirement for strongly career-oriented people can be devastating, a precursor to depression, illness, and death.  I wondered if she were being the most realistic.  There is quite a bit of social science research on the correlates and consequences of retirement.  Here are some of the things that I ran across on the Internet:

NUMBERS OF RETIREES: According to the Social Security Administration, there are currently about 38 million retired workers in the U.S.  (12)  [note: numbers in parentheses refer to sources listed at end] 

-Over 10,000 Baby Boomers will retire every day for the next two decades.  (4)

TIMING OF RETIREMENT: In 1991 half of American workers planned to retire before age 60; today that number has dropped to 23%.  (4)

-The typical American worker now retires at age 62.  (13) 

-On average, individuals who retire at age 65 can expect to live for 18 to 20 years in retirement.  (7)

RETIREMENT AND FINANCES: Investment firms typically recommend that retirees have assets of 8 to 11 times their annual wages to prepare adequately for old age.  (19)

-88% of Americans are worried about "maintaining a comfortable standard of living in retirement," and 40% plan to work "until they drop."  (4)

-According to the Social Security Administration, 20% of retirees' incomes come from pensions; 15%, asset income; 36%, Social Security, and 29%, part-time work.  (10)

-One in six older Americans lives below the poverty line ($22,350 for a family of four).  (17)

SATISFACTION WITH RETIREMENT:  Numerous studies indicate that most adults look forward to retirement and, once retired, are happy with retirement.  (9) 

-For example, one large-scale national survey study found that 61.5% of retirees reported high levels of satisfaction with retirement, 32.9% said they were somewhat satisfied, and 5.6% expressed dissatisfaction.  (16)

-Satisfaction with retirement is positively correlated with good health, satisfaction with one's previous job, engagement in productive activities (e.g., paid work, formal or informal volunteering, care-giving), self-esteem, and a sense of personal control over one's life outcomes.  Having been forced to leave work is associated with retirement dissatisfaction.  (11, 16)

RETIREMENT AND PHYSICAL HEALTH:  Gerontologists have not found any major long-term effects of retirement (independent of age) on physical health. (3)

-When retirees do experience negative health outcomes, these are more likely if individuals are unmarried, lack social support, don’t engage in physical activity, don’t work part-time, and have retired at an earlier age.  (1)

RETIREMENT AND PSYCHOLOGICAL WELL-BEING: Retirement per se has little impact, positive or negative, on mental health.  Researchers find that the most positive psychological effects of retirement are found for people with solid social supports who are engaged in their communities and spend more time with family and friends.  (15)

-In a review of twenty years of retirement research, social scientists Mo Wang and Beryl Hesketh conclude that psychological well-being in retirement varies as a function of five factors: 

• (1) Individual attributes (financial status, physical health); 
• (2) Pre-retirement job-related factors (e.g., lower well-being connected to work stress, job dissatisfaction, unemployment before retirement, stronger work identity);  
• (3) Family factors (greater well-being for married vs. single persons, higher marital quality; less well-being with a working spouse, more dependents, losing a partner); 
• (4) Retirement transition factors (e.g., greater well-being with voluntary retirement, retirement planning; less when retiring earlier than expected, retiring for health reasons); 
• (5) Post-retirement activities (greater well-being with bridge employment, volunteer work, leisure activities; less with anxiety associated with social activities).  (18)

- One health website suggests that depression following retirement is likely to be most common for people: (a) who have invested a lot in their careers and neglected other areas of their lives; (b) whose sense of self-worth is dependent on their work; (c) who are frequently in the spotlight and don’t realize the impact of attention and admiration on their sense of self-esteem.  (5) 

- A recent retirement survey describes over two-thirds of retirees as active and enjoying a vigorous part of their life.  95% of retirees consider themselves open-minded; 94% peaceful; and 94% independent.  (14)

SIX PHASES OF RETIREMENT: Gerontologist Robert Atchley theorizes that there are six phases of retirement that individuals go through with retirement:

• (1) Pre-retirement (disengagement from the workplace; planning);
• (2) Retirement, including three alternative possible paths:

·       [a] the "Honeymoon", as if on indefinite vacation;

·       [b] the "immediate retirement routine", busy and comfortable;

·       [c] "Rest and relaxation", very low activity;

• (3) Disenchantment (disappointment, uncertainty, felt lack of productivity);
• (4) Reorientation ("taking inventory", finding a satisfying lifestyle);
• (5) Retirement Routine (mastering a rewarding routine);
• (6) Termination of Retirement (retirement role replaced by the subsequent role of disabled elder).  (8)

By and large, these data offer an encouraging picture.  I would sum it up by saying that people’s quality of lives in retirement vary as a function of physical health, income, social ties, and engagement in meaningful activities.  I’d say Katja and I are doing o.k. in these different domains.  Perhaps the most challenging is seeking out productive activities.  Our workplaces provided us with a host of goals and tasks that took up much of our daily lives.  Now there’s much less external structure and external pressure, and our daily rounds of activities are much more up to ourselves.  There’s more room for personal choice, but also more possibility for ennui.  Today my next steps will be to take a half-mile walk with the sheepdogs, eat a Lean Cuisine (Swedish Meatballs), work on my blog, and go off to my line dancing class.  Sounds good to me.

Love,

Dave

SOURCES:  (1): www.aysps.gsu.edu, “The effects of retirement on physical and mental health outcomes”; (2): www.money.cnn.com, “Be ready for the 3 stages of retirement”; (3): www.collegestudy.org, “Chapter 2: The effects of retirement”; (4): www.theeconomiccollapse.blog, "25 bitter and painful facts about the coming baby boomer retirement crisis"; (5): www.health24.com, “Beating depression after retirement”; (6): www.merckmanuals, "Effects of Life Transitions on Older People"; (7): www.ohioline.osu.edu, "Facts about retirement"; (8): www.ohioline.osu.edu, "Stages of retirement"; (9): www.psychsocgerontology.oxfordjournals,org, "Gender and Life Satisfacton in Retirement"; (10): www.thequarterroll.com, "Retirement trivia"; (11): www.jstor.org, "Retirement and Life Satisfaction; (12): www.ssa.gov, "Social Security Basic Facts"; (13): www.statisticbrain.com, "Retirement statistics"; (14): www.squidoo.com, "Retirement facts"; (15): www.theconversation.com, “Retirement: a trigger for distress or welcome relief from the rat race?”; (16):  www.urban.org, "Satisfaction and Engagement in Retirement"; (17): www.money.usnews.com, "8 scary retirement facts"; (18): www.shrm.org, “Achieving well-being in retirement”; (19) www.washingtonpost.com, “Many blacks, Latinos have no retirement savings, report finds” 

G-mail Comments

-Phyllis S-S (12-17):  Dear Dave,  Interesting.  Did you see all the research that is coming out on the benefits if being bilingual?  Phyllis

Time Flies

Dear George,

This is my 500th blog posting.  That’s a surprise.  The years sneak by when you’re having a pleasant time.  I began this enterprise on May 29, 2009, exactly five years ago today.  That comes down to a hundred posts per year, one every three or four days.

While I think mostly of family and friends as the audience when I write stories, the Internet makes for a much wider dispersal.  Since the blog’s beginning, there have been 1,373 “pageviews” from the Ukraine, 2,313 from Denmark.  7,871 people read the most popular posting, photos and comments about insects and amphibians who live in the Menominee River (“River House Creatures, Part Two”).  This month Katja’s story about “Aunt Molly’s Nose” was the most widely read.   

Sometimes when I get sleepy, I think about taking a “blogcation” – maybe a week or a month.  At other times I think about celebrating this milestone by making some kind of change in format or content.  I’ll have to think it over.  In the meantime, being a creature of habit, I’ll likely be back in a couple of days. 

Love,

Dave  

G-mail Comments

-Phyllis S-S (5-31):  Dear Dave,  Congratulations.  Phyllis

-Gayle C-L (5-30):  David,  This is An Amazing Feat!!!!  CONGRATS to you for your Perseverance and Stamina!!!  My old Broker Gloria Zastko always said,  " it's easy to get on top but it's hard to stay on Top!!   No truer words ever spoken !!  So,,, Cheers for the love you have for your family and for keeping your past, present and future in all of our lives !!  Keep up the good work,,  ( it is ok If you miss a beat once in awhile)   ;)))   Lots of love ...G

-Jennifer M (5-29): Congratulations on 500 posts and being so widely read!

2014 So Far: Bests and Worsts

Dear George,

When I was thirty or so I rarely considered whether I was having a good year or a bad year.  There were limitless years ahead, and I had more pressing things to worry about.  Now that I’m older, have extra time on my hands, and no longer have an infinite number of years ahead to enjoy, I’ve seem to be more preoccupied with assessing my quality of life.  My New Years resolution this past January was to do something special every day.  (Not super special – but at least somewhat special.)  I’ve managed to do that at least half of the time, but I tense up when I ask myself how many really big things have happened in my life lately.  Anyway, now that we’re almost done with the first third of 2014, it seems like a good time to evaluate the year so far.  To accomplish that, I compiled two lists: (a) my best experiences; and (b) my worst experiences of 2014 to date.  I encourage readers to try this for themselves since it’s an instructive exercise.  Here’s how my lists wound up:

Bests of 2014

·       Biggest trip: To New Orleans for six days in late March, visiting J and K and our grandkids V and L

·       Most enjoyable workouts: At my line dancing class

·       Best sheepdog outing places: Eden Park and Miami Whitewater Forest (tie)

·       Best OLLI class at the university (for 50-&-overs): Behind the Scenes in the Arts

·       Most engrossing sports event: The Winter Olympics (esp. ice dancing and halfpipe)

·       Best flea market expedition: Monthly Flea-n-Tique show at the county fairground in Dayton

·       Most nostalgic kid activity: Riding in a bumper car with my granddaughter V at City Park in New Orleans

·       Best hostess: Katja entertaining 20 members of the Contemporary Club at our house

·       Biggest family laugh: When I told my NOLA physician relatives that I’d given my primary care doctor my detailed blood pressure records in which I’d listed all my systolic numbers on one sheet and all my diastolic numbers on a separate sheet (very amusing to physicians) 

·       Cutest pet: My granddaughter V's tiny white bunny, Olivia Rosetop

·       Best museum experience: OLLI Tour of the National Underground Freedom Center

·       Best fashion exhibit: "Threads of Heaven" at the Taft Museum, featuring garments of the Chinese royalty from the Quing dynasty (some of which required 250 artisans to make)

·       Best photography show: Civil War photos at the New Orleans Museum of Art 

·       Best art show:  Steffen Thomas at the Ogden Museum of Southern Art in New Orleans

·       Best gallery visit: A Gallery for Fine Photography on Royal St. in New Orleans (with photos priced to $95,000)  

·       Best movie we've seen so far in 2014: Nebraska, with a demented Bruce Dern

·       Best TV show: HBO's True Detective with Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey

·       Quirkiest TV show: The Search for Bigfoot in Menominee County (National Geographic Channel)

·       Most enjoyable book: Jonathan Goldstein, I'll Seize the Day Tomorrow 

·       Best theater:  CCM's "Les Miserables" and Broadway tour of “Evita” (tie)

·       Best opera: Donizetti’s “Don Pasquale” at CCM

·       Most enjoyable jazz outing: Aurora Nealand and the Royal Roses at the Spotted Cat Music Club in New Orleans

·       Best outdoor music festival: Rhythm Festival in Congo Square in NOLA

·       Best lunch: Baked Drum at Peche in New Orleans’ warehouse district 

·       Best dinner: Three-course prix fixe at Jean Robert's Table with the Opera Guild group on Vine Street downtown

·       Best holiday outing: Easter brunch at La Petite France with Ellie and Sam M.

·       Most fulfilling dramaturgical experience: Directing my five-year-old grandchildren L and V in our homemade play about “The Joys of Spring.”

·       Most enthusiastic dog encounter: Noisy reunion with our sheepdogs Duffy and Mike at the airport on my return from New Orleans.

Worsts of 2014

·       Saddest event: Attending the funeral of a long-time friend and department colleague

·       Most distressing news: A friend’s recurrence of cancer after several years in remission

·       Poignant week: Family birthdays in the last week of February including my mother’s and my deceased brother Steve’s, as well as my sister Vicki’s

·       Worst effect of our unusually harsh winter: Car stuck in the ice and snow three times

·       Most unpleasant financial expense: $1500 in car repairs from subzero temps (broken hoses, brakes, etc.)

·       Most anxiety-provoking: Dogs’ arthritis, evident in their difficulty climbing stairs and struggles to get up from the hardwood floor

·       Scariest accident(s): Me falling on the ice while walking the dogs and then Katja tripping on the parking lot pavement (no persisting injuries for anybody)

·       Worst recurrent nightmare: Having to teach a graduate seminar though knowing nothing about the topic

·       Stupidest comment to a doctor: Telling the gastroenterologist that I was looking forward to my colonscopy

·       Most annoying age discrimination: Doctor cuts my Ambien dosage in half because of federal government age guidelines

·       Daily pet peeve: The University's shuttle bus stop at our corner for which patrons wait in our driveway and on our side lawn

·       Most chronic frustration: my crummy hearing

·       Biggest life worry: What to do with too much stuff (i.e., attic and basement filled to capacity)

·       Worst late-night snack:  Katja’s leftover fig pizza.

·       Neighborhood dog losses: Lucy (died), Archie (died), Prissy (ran away), Harmony (moved to Illinois)

Like every other year, life continues to be a potpourri of goods and bads.  Apart from catastrophes to friends, the positive things for me outweigh the negatives in 2014 so far.  While I never anticipated it, I think this is mostly a consequence of being retired.  A lot of the sources of external pressure, evaluation by authorities, interpersonal conflict, and daily stress disappeared from my life when I left the workplace.  Instead I get to spend a lot of time doing things I like.  This is an unique and special time of life.  My immediate plan is to appreciate and enjoy the rest of 2014.

Love,

Dave

G-mail Comments

-Donna D (4-27): absolutely wonderful david!!!

-Jennifer M (4-23):  I'm glad the good outweighs the bad so far! And it seems like the trip to NOLA created a lot of the good!