THE AMAZING MONTH OF AUGUST

DEAR GEORGE, The month of August has special significance for our family because of all of the members, past and present, who are named August. My paternal great-grandfather was Carl August Lundgren (1830-1899). My paternal grandfather was Victor August Lundgren Sr. (1875-1959), and my father was Victor August Lundgren Jr. (1908-1993). One of my nephews, Steve and Margie’s second son, is Jason August Lundgren (1975- ). My grandnephews include August Clyde Levinson (2007- ; Vicki and George’s grandson and Jacob and Kazandra’s son) and Oskar August Mason (2006- ; Vicki and George’s grandson and Rhys and Tim’s son). In addition, Katja and I married on Aug. 28 1960. Peter married Faith on Aug. 7, 1968. Jacob married Kazandra on Aug. 13, 2007. Chris married Karrie on Aug. 21, 2010. It’s pretty obvious we are an August family. Here are some other interesting August facts.

AUGUST SYMBOLS: August birthstones: the peridot, sardonyx, and spinet; August birth flowers: the gladiolus, the poppy; August bird of the month: the kingfisher; August colors: orange, red, and light green; August trees: Cypress, Poplar, Cedar, Pine; August zodiac signs: Leo (until Aug. 21) and Virgo (starting Aug. 22).

SIX LITTLE-KNOWN AUGUST HOLIDAYS: Aug. 1, National Mustard Day; Aug. 5, Work Like a Dog Day; Aug. 9., International Lefthanders Day; Aug. 14, Creamsicle Day; Aug. 24, Pluto Demoted Day; Aug. 30, Frankenstein Day.

SIX HISTORICAL EVENTS IN AUGUST: Aug. 24, 79 A.D.: Mount Vesuvius erupted, destroying Pompeii, Stabiae, and Herculaneum; Aug. 4, 1914: The First World War began; Aug. 6, 1945: The first Atomic Bomb was dropped on Hiroshima by the American B-29 bomber Enola Gay; Aug. 28, 1963: Martin Luther King Jr. gave his “I have a dream” speech; Aug. 9, 1974: Richard Nixon resigned the presidency as a result of the Watergate scandal; Aug. 16, 1977: Elvis Presley died at age 42 at the Memphis Baptist Hospital; Aug. 31, 1997: Britain’s Princess Diana died at age 36 in a high-speed car crash.

SIX FAMOUS SINGERS WHO WERE BORN IN AUGUST: Tony Bennett, Aug. 3, 1926, New York, NY; Eddie Fisher, Aug. 10, 1928, Philadelphia, PA; Connie Stevens, Aug. 8, 1938, Brooklyn, NY; Madonna, Aug. 16, 1958, Bay City, MI; Michael Jackson, Aug. 29, 1958; Whitney Houston, Aug. 9, 1963, Newark, NJ.

SIX FAMOUS MOVIE STARS WHO DIED IN AUGUST: Bela Lugosi, Aug. 16, 1956; Marilyn Monroe, Aug. 5, 1962; Charles Boyer, Aug. 26, 1978; Victor Mature, Aug. 4, 1999; Charles Bronson, Aug. 30, 2003; Glenn Ford, Aug. 30, 2006; Julie Harris, Aug. 24, 2013.

SIX SONGS WITH AUGUST IN THE TITLE: August (Julia Nunes); August 7, 4:15 (Jon Bon Jovi); August is Over (We the Kings); Cold Wind in August (Van Morrison); First Day in August (Carole King); The 33rd of August (Waylon Jennings).

SIX CELEBRITY CHILDREN NAMED AUGUST: August Anna Brooks (b. 1994), daughter of singer Garth Brooks; Indiana August Affleck (b. 2004), son of actors Casey Affleck and Summer Phoenix; August Miklos Friedrich Hermann (b. 2006), son of actors Mariska Hargitay and Peter Hermann; August Oliver Matthews (b. 2007), son of musician Dave Matthews; August Theron (b. 2015), daughter of actress Charlize Theron; August Zuckerberg (b. 2017), daughter of Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan.

SIX MOVIES WITH AUGUST IN THE TITLE: Sunday in August (Marcello Mastroianni, 1950); The Teahouse of the August Moon (Marlon Brando, 1956); The Whales of August (Bette Davis, 1987); Rhapsody in August (Richard Gere, 1991); August Rush (Robin Williams, 2007); August: Osage County (Julia Roberts, 2013).

SIX NATURAL DISASTERS IN AUGUST: Arica earthquake in Chile (Aug. 13, 1868; 25,674 deaths); Krakatoa eruption in Indonesia (Aug. 26, 1883; 36,000 to 120,000 deaths); Swatow typhoon in Philipines and China (Aug. 3, 1922; 50,000 to 100,000 deaths); Diexi earthquake in China (Aug. 25, 1933; 7000-9300 deaths); Hanoi and Red River Delta floods in North Vietnam (Aug. 1, 1971; 100,000 deaths) Typhoon Nina in China (Aug. 7, 1975; 229,000 deaths).

SIX OTHER TITILLATING AUGUST FACTS: August is named after Augustus Caesar, first emperor of the Roman Empire; August only had 29 days until Julius Caesar added two days in 46 BC; The Anglo-Saxons called it Weod month, which means Weed month, because it’s the month that weeds grow most rapidly; August is known as the “dog days of summer” because Sirisu (the dog star) rose at sunrise during the month of August in ancient Roman times; In the U.S. August has the highest birth rate of any month; During August the Great Solar Wheel of the Year is turned to Lammas, one of the four Grand Sabbats celebrated each year by Wiccans and modern Witches throughout the world. That’s everything I know. LOVE, DAVE

SOURCES: birthdaycelebrations.net, “Traditions from Around the World”; bornglorious.com, “Famous People’s Death Anniversary, U.S.: August”;bornglorious.com, “Famous Singers’ Birthdays, U.S.: August”; express.co.uk, “Top 10 facts about August”; freep.com, “15 reasons August is the best month of summer”; history place.com, “This Month in History: August”; holidappy.com, “Birth Birds by Month”; nameberry.com, Baby girl names: August; name candy.com, “Celebrity babies named August”; popculturemadness.com, “About August”; projectbritain.com, “Facts About the Month of August”; ranker.com, The Best Movies With August in the Title; richmond.com, “August Fun Facts”; thecavanproject.com, 16 Songs About August; timeanddate.com, “Fun Holidays”; whattoexpect.com, “Birth Symbols by Month”; wikipedia.org, “August”; wikipedia.org, “List of natural disasters by death toll”.

Eighty-Four, Can You Believe It?

DEAR GEORGE, Holy Moly. Today is birthday number 84. It’s arrived much sooner than I expected. When I was five years old, it seemed to take forever to turn 6. Now, however, birthdays simply whiz by. I wish I could figure out how to slow time down.

The other day I was crossing Ludlow Avenue in the crosswalk across from Graeters. My hip was bothering me, and I was limping along. An SUV came to a stop in front of the crosswalk, and the driver hollered at me, “Get a move on, old man!” That was a shock. I wanted to tell him that I’m not that old, that I just have bursitis in my hip. But he was gone before I could utter a word. “Old man” is a nasty label because of the negative and often unwarranted stereotypes that it stirs up, e.g., physical and mental deterioration, frailty, incompetence. I told one of my friends about this episode and she pointed out that, in fact, I am an old man. Literally that is true, but I don’t feel any connection to the miserable portrait that follows.

Gerontologists divide old age into three stages: young old (65 to 74), middle old (75 to 84), and old old (85 and above). Young old sounds most favorable, old old sounds worst. My birthday, of course, puts me near the tipping point. Young-olders are healthiest and most independent; middle-olders begin to need some assistance; and old-olders, because of disease and disability, are dependent on caretakers, often in assisted care facilities. These, of course, are abstract categories, designed to describe the average progression of the aging process. At 84 my life and experiences still fit in the young old category, and I plan to hang out there as long as my luck holds out.

Now and then I get anxious about my age, but I think that’s foolish. I’m healthy, have lots of interests, and enjoy many life pleasures, so it’s ridiculous to waste a lot of emotional energy on an imagined future at some unknown time. Because of the pandemic, I’ve lost a lot during the last twelve months and I’m looking forward to a much richer and more enjoyable 85th year. We are starting by going to the Warren County Fair this afternoon in Lebanon. I can’t wait to mingle with the rabbits and the goats. LOVE, DAVE

BATTLING THE SLEEP DEMONS

DEAR GEORGE, Some years ago I was a Grade A sleeper. All the credit goes to my doctor who was happy to refill my Ambien prescription whenever I wanted. Ambien, in my view, is a wonder drug — like oxycodone or the polio vaccine. I would simply take a pill, fall asleep in precisely 30 minutes, sleep soundly for eight hours straight, and wake up refreshed and eager for the new day. Unfortunately that doctor retired and my new doctor was less enthusiastic about drugs. He hinted that one of his patients went out in a stupor and walked in front of a truck. Whatever the case, when I turned eighty he told me that federal guidelines prohibited him from refilling my Ambien prescription. I think that was a fib because my wife’s doctor didn’t seem subject to such guidelines. Nonetheless, my Ambien supply came to an abrupt end. And so did my good sleep. I tried all of the over-the-counter sleep aids, but none of them seemed to work. Now I often take two or three hours to fall asleep or I wake up at 3 a.m. and stay awake till sunrise. Such a drag.

I’ve been asking Google about sleep problems, and there’s a lot of info. One thing I learned is that rich people sleep better than poor people. If the world were just, this should be the reverse, but it’s not. Explanations for low-income insomnia include occupational hazards, off-hour shifts, lack of healthcare services, neighborhood stressors (e.g., noise, pollution), and daily stress. Sleep inequality in turn contributes to decreased cognitive performance, mental health issues, disease (e.g., diabetes, heart disease, stroke), weight gain, and up to a 30% greater risk of death.

Another unpleasant fact is that sleep problems increase with age. Older people often have more trouble falling asleep, sleep less deeply, wake up more often during the night, wake earlier in the morning, and wake up feeling tired. (This sounds familiar to me.) Many different factors enter into these aging-related changes: less production of hormones that promote sleep, more sensitivity to environmental stimuli, medical issues (e.g., arthritis, heart or lung disease), side effects of medications. In addition, low exercise, frequent naps, and drinking more alcohol or caffeine can contribute to sleep difficulties. Older adults with poor nighttime sleep are more likely to be depressed, experience more attention and memory problems, fall more in the night, and have a poorer quality of life. On the other hand, bad sleep is not an inevitable product of aging. Many healthy older adults report few or no sleep problems.

There are many standard sleep tips: don’t use cell phones, iPads, or TV in the bedroom; do aerobic exercise during the day (before 2 p.m.); avoid caffeine, alcohol, sugary foods, exercise, and smoking before bedtime; reduce light and noise in the bedroom; keep the same sleep schedule every day; check side effects of medications; keep a journal, listen to calming music, or read a relaxing book to reduce mental stress. I find that it sometimes helps to go to sleep if I slowly count backwards in my mind from 99 to 0, or progressively relax my muscles from my toes up to my nose, or visualize pleasant landscapes like the Menominee River. When I wake up bright-eyed at 2 or 3 a.m. I often play a game or two of computer solitaire. Winning the game seems to clear my mind and provides closure, such that I go to sleep quickly when returning to bed.

Two things bother me most about my erratic sleep. First, I don’t know why this is happening. My life isn’t that stressful, and I stay up till midnight so I ought to be tired. Second, it’s frustrating that I’m not in control of my own mind and body. I whisper to myself, “Go to sleep…go to sleep…go to sleep” fifty or more times, but my body pays no attention. Getting to sleep is, however, an interesting challenge, and I sort of look forward to it each night. I think I will eventually be successful. LOVE, DAVE

SOURCES: health.clevelandclinic.org, “22 Facts About Sleep That Will Surprise You”; healthline.com, “People with Lower Incomes Have More Sleep Issues…”; helpguide.org, “Sleep Tips for Older Adults”; sbm.org, “Insomnia in Older Adults”;sleepeduction.org, “Sleeping and Growing Older”; tuck.com, “The Inequality of Sleep”

Fourth of July

DEAR GEORGE, When we were kids, birthdays and Christmas were our favorite holidays because they involved the most gifts. Halloween was great because of all the candy, and the Easter bunny brought a lot of sweets too. July Fourth took fifth place, mainly because of the fireworks. The fathers in our group took their oldest kids to nearby Peshtigo, and we got to pick out skyrockets and cherry bombs. After sunset we shot them off on the Green Bay shore, thrilled by the wonder of it all.

We learned in grade school that the Fourth of July is the birthdate of our nation — the day on which delegates from the thirteen colonies adopted the Declaration of Independence, declaring the new country’s independence from Great Britain. Actually the date isn’t fixed in stone. John Adams insisted that July 2nd was Independence Day because that’s when members of the Continental Congress voted to declare independence from British rule. The Declaration of Independence was finalized as a written document on July 4th, 1776, but only John Hancock signed it that day. The official signing by most members of the Continental Congress occurred on August 2nd, and it took several more months to get all 56. (As a sidelight, none of the signees were born in the United States.)

In its most famous line, the Declaration of Independence declared that unalienable rights of all men “are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Thomas Jefferson’s original draft referred to “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Property.” Some say that Benjamin Franklin convinced Jefferson to change the wording because “property” was too narrow a notion. In addition, despite his owning more than 200 slaves, Jefferson’s early draft called slavery “a cruel war against human nature” and denounced King George III for “creating and sustaining” the slave trade. Jefferson went on to refer to slavery as “piratical warfare” and an “assemblage of horrors.” Jefferson’s language, however, was deleted from the final version of the Declaration of Independence during debate by members of the Continental Congress. Jefferson later blamed the states of South Carolina and Georgia for the clause’s removal, though he acknowledged the role of northern states as well.

During the nation’s early years Independence Day was celebrated with parades, oratory, and ceremonies that celebrated the new nation. Massachusetts was the first to recognize July Fourth as a state celebration in 1781, the White House had its first Fourth of July party in 1801, and the U.S Congress made the Fourth a paid holiday for federal employees in 1870. Nowadays Independence Day is commonly associated with fireworks, parades, concerts, picnics, and mall sales. Given a nation torn by economic inequality, racism, sexism, police brutality, voter suppression, and political polarization, the very meaning of the Fourth of July has become problematic. Patriotism in America has been declining in recent decades, dropping most sharply during the Trump years. A recent Pew Research Center Poll (Fall 2020) found that only 39% of U.S. respondents reported feeling proud of their country most of the time, less than citizens in the UK (41%), France (45%), and Germany (53%). Pride in the U.S. is greater on the political right (55%) than on the political left (16%). Focus group questions revealed that sources of pride for U.S. respondents included freedom, the right to vote, opportunity, history, and diversity. Sources of shame included: racism, the opioid epidemic, and Donald Trump. A 2019 Gallup poll found that males (48%) are more proud to be an American than females (43%), persons 65 and over more proud (63%) than those 18-29 (24%), Republicans (76%) more than Democrats (22%), and Conservatives (70%) more than Liberals (21%).

When I wonder why we celebrate the Fourth of July at all, I remind myself that this holiday isn’t about America in 2021. It’s a celebration of the founding of the nation and of the American ideals expressed by its founders in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution — ideals of freedom, equality, opportunity, human rights, and democracy. Our society has always fallen short of these ideals, but they still ring true. Independence Day provides the occasion to reflect upon and clarify American ideals and to contemplate means to better realize them. LOVE, DAVE

SOURCES: (1) blog.acton.org, “Five Facts About Independence Day”; (2) history.com, “Why Thomas Jefferson’s Anti-Slavery Passage Was Removed…”; (3) news.gallup.com, “American Pride Hits New Low: Few Proud of Political System”; (4) news.gallup.com, “U.S.National Pride Falls to Record Low”; (5) pew research.org, “National Pride and Shame”; (6) rd.com, “20 Things You Didn’t Know About Independence Day”; (7) womansday.com, “These 4th of July Facts Will Change the Way You Look at American History”

Wimbledon Eve

DEAR GEORGE, Wimbledon is the world’s oldest tennis tournament, dating back to 1877 at the All England Club in suburban London. It has the distinction of being the only Grand Slam tournament played on grass courts. (There are four Grand Slams: the Australian Open, the French Open, Wimbledon, and the US Open.) This year’s Wimbledon has special significance since the tournament was cancelled in 2020 because of the pandemic, its only cancellation since World War II. Americans aren’t as dominant as they were years ago. There are no American men seeded in the top 25, and only 3 seeded at all — Reilly Opelka at 27; John Isner, 28; and Taylor Fritz, 31. American women did better: Sofia Kenin, 4; Serena Williams, 6; Coco Gauff, 20; Jessica Pegula, 22; Madison Keys, 23; and Allson Riske, 28.

Two legendary players, members of the old guard, are seeking to add to their remarkable Wimbledon records. With 8 previous tournament victories, Roger Federer, age 39, has the best Wimbledon record of any man in the open era, and a ninth title this year would tie him with Martina Navratilova for the most of all times. However, no man over age 35 has ever won Wimbledon. Despite his two knee surgeries and a year of rehabilitation, fellow players and tennis experts aren’t counting Federer out. Second seed Daniil Medvedev observed, “I think Wimbledon is always — even when he will be 50 years old — a great chance for him.” The tournament also has historical implications for American super-star, Serena Williams. With her formidable serve and powerful groundstrokes, Williams’ game is perfectly suited for grass-court tennis, and she has won Wimbledon 14 times in singles, doubles, and mixed doubles. At age 39 and seeded 6th, she needs one more victory to tie her with Margaret Court for the all-time Grand Slam victory total of 24, and she’s been pursuing that milestone since coming back from childbirth in 2017.

Novak Djokovic is the clear men’s favorite this year. A five-time Wimbledon winner, if he wins the tournament this year, it will be his 20th Grand Slam title and put him in a three-way tie with Federer and Rafael Nadal. Djokovic’s aspirations are entirely clear. After the French Open in May he commented, “I don’t have an issue to say that I’m going for the title in Wimbledon. Of course, I am.” Having already won the Australian Open and the French Open this year, Djokovic is in a position to win a calendar Grand Slam of all four major tournaments (if he wins at Wimbledon and the US Open), a feat no male player has accomplished in the last 51 years.

Not all the top players are playing. Rafael Nadal, currently number three in the world and a member of the Big Three who have dominated men’s tennis since 2003 (Federer, Nadal, Djokovic), recently withdrew from Wimbledon A two-time winner on Wimbledon’s grass courts, Nadal lost in a thrilling five-set French Open finals last month to Novak Djokovic, and, at age 34, he said he was “listening to his body” and forgoing Wimbledon to “prolong my career and continue to do what makes me happy.” Another of my favorites, Naomi Osaka, the No. 2 ranked women’s tennis player in the world, announced on June 17 that she was withdrawing from Wimbledon. According to a statement released by her agent, “She is taking some personal time with friends and family She will be ready for the Olympics and is excited to play in front of her home fans [in Japan].” At the recent French Open Osaka withdrew after the first round during controversy regarding her decision to skip required post match news interviews. Osaka revealed that she had been dealing with anxiety and depression issues since winning the US Open in 2018. I hope she’ll be back for the US Open at the end of August.

We also have our eye on Coco Gauff, the 17-year-old American who is partnering in Ladies’ Doubles with Cincinnati native, Caty McNally, and who captured fans’ attention by reaching the fourth round at Wimbledon in 2019. Gauff reached the quarterfinals at the French Open last month, and she won the singles and doubles titles on clay courts at the 2021 Emilia-Romagna Open at Parma, Italy.

The only other man to win two Wimbledon titles in the last 20 years, Scotland’s Andy Murray is a dark horse at Wimbledon. After two hip surgeries and recurrent injuries, Murray has returned to the singles draw at Wimbledon for the first time since 2017. A British crowd favorite, Murray has said that his prospects at Wimbledon this year are unknown.

It seems like the Big Three have dominated men’s tennis forever, but the younger generation, now in their mid-twenties, are nipping at their heels, and it wouldn’t be surprising if one of them captured the title this year. The top contenders are: Daniel Medvedev (Russia, seeded 2nd), Stefanos Tsitsipas (Greece, seeded 3rd), Alexander Zverev (Germany, seeded 4), Andrey Rublev (Russian, seeded 5th), and Matteo Berrettini (Italy, seeded 7th). Tsitsipas nearly upset Djokovic in a five-set thriller at the French Open final, Berrettini also pushed Djokovic to the limit in the French quarter-finals, and Medvedev is a two-time Grand Slam finalist and winner of the 2021 ATP Finals. The other top-ranked younger player, Austrian Dominic Thiem, who won the 2020 US Open, had to withdraw from Wimbledon because of injuries.

After a two-year wait, we are eager to watch lots of this year’s Wimbledon. Our hearts are with Roger Federer and Serena Williams, but we’re prepared for other more likely outcomes too. It’s at times like this that we appreciate what a miracle television is. In some ways it’s almost as good as being on the scene. Coverage on ESPN of Round 1 starts at 6 a.m. tomorrow. We’ll probably tune in a little bit later. LOVE, DAVE

Father's Day Musings

DEAR GEORGE, My dad always asked us not to bother with Father’s Day, claiming that holidays and presents were only for children. The four of us bought gifts for him anyway, spending 10 or 15 cents apiece at the Five and Dime. Parental roles and parent-child relations were vastly different back then. When I was a toddler behaviorist John B. Watson wrote in the most popular child-rearing book of the day, “Never hug and kiss them, never let them sit on your lap. If you must, kiss them once on the forehead when they say good night. Shake hands with them in the morning…If you expected a dog to grow up and be useful as a watch dog, a bird dog, a fox hound, useful for anything except a lap dog, you wouldn’t dare treat it the way you treat your child.”

Most families we knew in our hometown had 3 or 4 kids, and mothers almost never worked outside the home. Father was the breadwinner, mother the homemaker. We learned from many sources that men were ideally strong, hard-working, and nonemotional, while women were warm, nurturing, and instinctively suited to be mothers. These stereotypes played out in my family. My father, while an exceptional and admirable person in many respects, could be emotionally distant and authoritarian. Having served as an officer in the Navy in World War II, he brought his military experience home with him. Children were of the “lower orders”, and we were instructed to obey orders to the letter and not question parental decisions. My father encouraged achievement in many domains, holding his kids to high standards and demanding perfection, so much so that my younger sister defensively prefaced any performance by saying, “This is not my best.” I should admit, though, that we all turned out well.

By 1969, when Katja and I had a son of our own, (J), it was a new and different era for fathers and mothers. Traditional gender roles were on the way out, it was commonplace for women to work outside the home, and fathers were expected to play an active role in childcare. In addition, there were major differences in our situation simply as a function of family size. In my four-child family of origin daily life was more complex and more chaotic. Parents and children constituted two distinct subgroups. The children spent most of their time playing with one another, often engaging in dysfunctional behavior which called for parental intervention and sometimes a spanking. In J’s case, virtually all of his household transactions were with adults (i.e., Katja and myself), more grown-up, more reasonable, and he became a mature kid as a consequence. With no brothers or sisters in sight, I was J’s primary playmate at home. I found that role completely enjoyable, a chance to live out childhood over again. As J grew older, we went to thrift stores together, visited the art museum and the zoo, took the dog for walks in the forest, played tennis, watched TV, went to the movies, and ate out as a family at Skyline Chili. Instead of a big group with a rigid parent-child hierarchy, we operated pretty much as a close, egalitarian threesome.

We were thrilled last week when J, about to celebrate his 52nd birthday, visited us from New Orleans for a long weekend. J and I went to three thrift shops and found amazing treasures. Despite a relatively high income, J remains a thrift store addict. He reveled in the used 99-cent Sohio T-shirt he found at St. Vincent de Paul and worried that he’d paid too much for his brand-new Calvin Klein pants ($12.79). He and I took the dog for long outings in Burnet Woods and our Clifton neighborhood, and we did an art museum tour. Our best stop was the 21C Museum Hotel on Walnut Street downtown which was displaying wonderful contemporary art. The Contemporary Art Center, on the other hand, was a complete bust. We felt sad for the little children whose parents had to lead them through four floors of dull and meaningless displays (and also for the young couple who appeared to be struggling through a failed first date). Katja joined us for an outing at the Cincinnati Art Museum, and we lingered over a garden lunch at the Museum Cafe. This was French Open week and we were thrilled to watch the semi-final clash between Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal. Then J went out to play tennis with a local nationally ranked junior player. Since we’d been a tennis family throughout J’s teenage years, his mom and I were happy for his renewed interest in the sport. We ate at Skyline Chili twice, had our fanciest meal at the Dusmesh Indian restaurant near Cincinnati State, and indulged ourselves at Dewey’s Pizza. Most of all, we shared lots of laughs and happy memories. Then it was over, and we couldn’t have asked for a more perfect visit. It’s when J comes home that our little family seems whole again. Thinking about our time together, it dawned on me that our family routines have been much the same as they were forty years ago.

What also strikes me is that there are many ways to be a good father. What worked for my parents fit who they were and the world they lived in, as did Katja’s and my parenting approach. Now J and K are parents to two preteens of their own, and their family patterns are once again different. The children are immersed in the digital world, the family is more attentive to social justice issues, and they take full advantage of New Orleans music and culture. In some ways child-rearing nowadays is more challenging than ours was, and J is a terrific father. There’s a lot to be thankful for this Father’s Day. LOVE, DAVE