I AM A COUNTRY BOY

 

Dear George, 

 I mentioned on my blog post last week that our summer poetry group took up the task of writing about “where I am from”. Katja wrote about growing up in center city Philadelphia in a poem titled “I Am a City Girl”. I wrote about growing up at our home on the Menominee River and adopted a parallel title: “I Am a Country Boy”.  It’s fun to view the two poems in comparison, and it’s hard to imagine such different backgrounds for a couple who celebrated their 62nd wedding anniversary yesterday. 

Love, 

Dave 

I AM A COUNTRY BOY

In 1946 my father returned 

from occupied Japan, 

and our family moved from town to

my grandfather’s Norway Pine cottage 

on the banks of the Menominee River, 

a mile outside the city limits, 

the first residents ever to live 

on Riverside Boulevard. 

Looking across the river from our front yard, 

we could see the local cemetery to the east, 

grand sunsets to the west,

and wild pigs on the island to the south. 

My grandfather had died in 1942, 

and the house had never been finished, 

no electricity, 

no phone, 

no indoor plumbing. 

We bathed in the river, 

used an outhouse by the garage, 

carried water to the kitchen from an outdoor pump, 

and lit kerosene lanterns at sundown. 

I was 9, Steven was 5, Peter was 1, 

and Vicki was yet to be born. 

We shared our property with native species, 

chipmunks, red and gray squirrels, 

garter snakes, grass snakes, water snakes, 

frogs and toads and box turtles, 

snapping turtles in the river, 

crayfish, bloodsuckers, mud puppies, 

Luna moths and hordes of mosquitos, 

wayward deer and wild turkeys, 

foxes, porcupines, otter, 

dead skunks flattened on the road, 

pheasants and woodpeckers, birds of all sorts, 

mice in the pantry, bats in the attic. 

Six-foot pine snakes hid underneath the house. 

In summer we children virtually lived 

in the river and the forest, 

building rafts of dead white pine logs,

camping along Little River at Mason Park,

scouring the woods for deer antlers and snakeskins. 

Our parents taught us the names

of the trees, the flowers, the birds. 

I gathered wild strawberries for breakfast, 

collected cicada skeletons from the river bank, 

made ashtrays for my mother from river bottom clay. 

We rowed our boat to Indian Island for picnics 

with our Irish Setter Mike paddling along behind. 

Steve and I had acorn fights in the autumn, 

wrote messages in ink on birch bark, 

pressed red and yellow leaves in thick books, 

and, with the first winter storm, 

held barefoot races in the snow. 

The river froze over in December 

and we ice-fished for perch, 

shoveled off a skating rink, 

hiked to Pig Island with snowshoes, 

and followed deer tracks in the snow. 

My father tied the toboggan to the Lincoln’s rear bumper 

and towed his squealing children at terrifying speeds. 

We chopped down our own Christmas tree. 

made strings of popcorn and cranberries, 

and tried to stay awake to see Santa. 

My mother cooked whitefish, 

Texas Tommies, and potato sausage. 

When the ice melted and flowed out in April, 

my father named the tinkling sounds 

“Chinese Bells Day”. 

In spring the rainfall turned the road to mud 

and some days we got free vacations from school. 

Steve and I played basketball after dark, 

lighting the hoop with a desk lamp. 

At 16 I built a hidden camp in the woods 

from the trunks of alder trees and vowed 

to live there by myself forever. 

My father gave me Thoreau’s Walden to read. 

Like Tarzan or Robinson Crusoe, 

I had become a creature of the forest.

"I Am A City Girl" (by Katja L.)

 

Dear George, 

This summer Katja and I have been attending an informal OLLI-initiated poetry group that meets on Thursday mornings. Last week one of our members suggested that we write a poem about “Where I am from.” People responded with enthusiasm. Katja’s and my poems could not be more different. Hers about growing up in center city Philadelphia; mine about growing up in the country outside Menominee. I’m posting Katja’s here, will follow with mine in a week or so. 

Love, 

Dave 

             I Am A City Girl 

                by Katja L.  

I am a city girl 

Born from a flurry of sounds and smells 

Father and mother — two people and a 

four year old singing their way through 

the Blue Ridge mountains in a boxy 

old Chevy 

from Roanoke to our forever home — Philadelphia: 

     “It’s a long, long trail a winding 

     Into the land of my dreams 

     where the nightingale is singing

     and the white moon gleams “ 

I am a city girl 

Raised in a noisy, colorful world 

of trolley cars that clickety clacked 

across the cobblestone streets; ten 

cents to get me across town to Spring Garden School 

Lining up outside in perfect lines 

Eager to hear the buzzer — signaling 

our race to “home room” and snacks 

Apples, Twinkies, peanut butter and grape jelly, no crusts 

Every Monday lunch: 

Boiled Hot Dogs 

Boiled Sauerkraut 

Steamed Baked Beans 

Milk 

Junior High — so far away 

Trolley car, subway, bus — twenty five cents 

Eighteen hundred students 

Pushing, jostling, cursing, angry 

fourteen years old 

Algebra, English, Phys Ed 

So many smells 

Don’t forget homework, papers, deadlines, 

food, money! 

Missed the bus 

Wait until 4:30 for the next one 

Home by 5:30 

Help Dad with the animals. 

Clean cages. 

Hold the Tabbies. 

Feed the pups. 

Mom upstairs — home from her job. 

Tired and grouchy. 

The smells from the animals wafting 

up through the air vents — mixing with the aroma of hamburgers 

and onions frying. 

My father’s veterinary practice on the 

first floor 

My mother’s domain on the second 

a combination that drove the two 

of them into perpetual angry retreats 

Center City Philadelphia 

     The border between the ghetto and the Gilded Age. 

    Saturdays were the best. Grandfather

came and took me to the movies. 

Betty Grable in technicolor or 

Randolph Scott in a double header. 

Lassie Come Home 

National Velvet 

Popcorn and chocolate covered mints. 

My mother’s beloved father 

kind and gentle. A tailor from the 

“old country” living in a new world 

that had no need of bespoke tailored 

suits and, thus, had little need of him. 

Germantown — a large niche in the 

fabric of Philadelphia. 

His business was on the first floor — in front. The 

smells of dry cleaning fluid and musty 

fabric mixed with the aromas of his 

kitchen where my grandmother made 

borscht and black pumpernickel throughout 

the week. 

     Some Saturdays we would sit 

together in the kitchen before an old 

wooden cased radio listening to the 

Metropolitan Opera, marveling at the 

drama taking place before 

us — in our very own kitchen. 

Upstairs — the parlor. 

Covered in dark, prickly, plush 

fabric 

on the walls, two large black, velvet 

pictures of oriental ladies wearing 

pink geisha girl costumes — beckoning 

the onlooker in knowing ways. 

I would caress their velour bodies and 

wonder at their softness. 

 I am a city girl. 

     Years of piano lessons — another 

subway ride to Little Italy and Miss Theresa’s house. 

     The smells of Braciola and Ragu 

permeating my embrace of Grieg 

and Tschaikowsky while Miss Theresa, 

totally blind since birth, reminded

me to sit up straight and try “pianissimo”. 

 I am a city girl 

     Walking through Rittenhouse Square —

     pushing brother and sister in a royal 

     wicker pram up to Mickey’s Garage 

     where I stand — gorging 

     on gas fumes that left us swooning. 

 I am a city girl 

     I come from holiday dinners and loud, noisy eaters — each trying 

to capture the last matzoh ball 

or lightest knish. Three months of study 

with Rabbi Jacobs over in a blink! I ask 

the four Seder questions and am showered 

with gilded chocolate coins. My reward 

is candy and loud murmurings of 

“congratulations”. 

     I am the result of Sunday dinners 

at City Line Horn & Hardarts. 

Chicken a la King, Mashed Potatoes, 

Creamed Spinach, and cherry jello topped 

with real whipped cream for dessert. 

     I am a survivor of the Philadelphia 

High School for Girls. A test to get in — a test 

to get out! Rules, discipline, competition. 

Miss Wilhemina — Geometry. Failed again. 

Told to try harder — or else. 

     On to Shakespeare, French, Physics, Phys Ed. 

An opening in the orchestra. 

Hallelujah! Out of the gym, into the symphony. 

A percussionist. Big noisy me! Father comes 

every Friday to the school’s back door and off we go with the 

Timpani, snare drum, tambourines, and 

castanets to our little home where I 

practice like crazy. Poor Mr. Finkelstein 

and Mrs. Alberti next door. 

     Terrified of being cast back into 

     Phys Ed, my percussion skills improve 

     and warrant a solo performance in the 

     Girls’ High “Olympic” band. 

     My roots are in the city — 

     I come from a flurry of smells and 

     sounds that form the moving screen 

     of my life. 

     I am a city girl.

GOOD TIMES IN WATER WONDERLAND

Me, L, Katja, and A at Farm

Dear George, 

Katja and I are just back from our weeklong trip to the U.P. and Northern Michigan. Our son J persuaded us to come up to our family farm in Menominee. He and his family were there, along with our nephew Jacob, his wife Kazandra, and their kids August and Delphine, all of whom had come from Brooklyn. We had a great time. It was a treat to see our grandkids, and we hadn’t seen Jacob and Kazandra’s family in over a decade. Their twelve-year-old daughter Delphine overheard me saying that my sister Vicki and I rarely talk on the telephone, so she called Vicki and said I was on the line, then told me that Vicki was on the line for me. Vicki and I had a nice talk, and it wasn’t till later that I learned that Delphine had arranged the whole thing to repair our fragile brother-sister connection. 

I’d had my 85th birthday just two weeks before, and J arranged for a family birthday celebration at Berg’s Landing, our favorite Menominee restaurant. My grandkids, A and L, gave me thoughtful and fun presents that they’d bought in New York City, and my grand-niece Delphine gave me an artistic birthday card that she’d drawn. I don’t think I’ve had a birthday party with a family group since high school, so it was a memorable occasion. 

As always, we had a good time in Menominee. This included visits to Henes Park, the marina and historic district, the House of Yesteryear and Main Street antique malls, the Rusty Wolfe art gallery, the Goodwill and St. Vincent de Paul stores, the Menominee County Museum, the Stephenson Library (with its bargain book sale), and meals out at the Watermark, Culvers, and Mickey-Lu Bar-B-Q. I found being at Farm very peaceful. I think it’s because I associate it so strongly with our parents and with wonderful family get-togethers over the years. Everybody was happy to be there.  My cousins Ann and John Buscher came to Farm for lunch, and Ann brought along her amazing family genealogy book.  Then Jacob interviewed me about our family history, an interesting and fun conversation. 

After four days in Menominee, we drove up to St. Ignace where we had whitefish at the Village Inn and stayed overnight at the Budget Host. Katja bought her supply of Murdick’s Fudge for friends, and then we crossed the Mackinac Bridge, driving down the Lake Michigan coast through Petoskey, Charlevoix, Traverse City, Manistee, Pentwater, Ludington, Grand Haven, and South Haven. These are such pristine towns, filled with boutiques and restaurants, and offering magnificent views of Lake Michigan. We stayed overnight in Ludington, did an eight-hour drive back to Cincinnati, and picked up our little dog Iko the following evening.  Now we're resting up and enjoying happy memories.  

Love, Dave 

CONFESSIONS OF A PROFESSIONAL HOARDER

Dear George, 

I retired from my faculty job at the university in 2009, but, thanks to available space and a generous departmental policy, I’ve been able to maintain an office there since that time. It definitely eased the shock of retirement, since I still found myself continuing to go to my workplace four or five times a week. Though I was no longer teaching or doing research, I used the office for writing tasks on the computer, including working on this blog and later poetry projects. Over time my use gradually dwindled, and the pandemic drastically reduced my time on campus. Recently I was notified by the department head that the university was shutting down the entire 16th floor that my office was on and that he was looking into alternative space. I told him that it wasn’t vital to me to have an office, but he persisted and, much to my surprise, came up with a larger office than my current one, all my own. The university’s moving date will be August 15th. 

This left me in a quandary. When I retired I disposed of about half my books and some of my files, e.g., old exams, grad student projects, faculty meeting notes. However, I held on to five file cabinets full of documents related to my career: e.g., all of my lecture notes, all of the xeroxed articles I used in teaching and research, published and unpublished papers, research data, even a couple of undergraduate college papers, my grad school class notes, and the materials from my dissertation project, now 55 years old. I haven’t had the need to use any of this material for the past thirteen years — I don’t think I’ve even opened most of the file cabinet material drawers. If all of this material vanished overnight, it wouldn’t have any tangible impact on my existence. 

To make my decision still worse, the deparrment put a large recycling bin in the hallway outside my office for use by myself and two of my emeriti colleagues who are also moving. What to do? I could get rid of all of the stuff, half of the stuff, or none of the stuff. While all that paper material had no practical value for me, it had a lot of sentimental value since it documented the entire course of my career (plus representing perhaps ten thousand hours of effort on my part). As astute reader probably knows the answer to my dilemma. I decided to keep everything, down to the last paper clip. So far I’ve boxed up my five file cabinets into 22 sizable cartons, and next I have to work on my books, desk, and table, saving all that as well. It was just too disturbing to say goodbye to my entire career. I’ll force myself to throw a few things out the next time they tell me to move. 

Love, 

Dave

ANOTHER OF THOSE BIG BIRTHDAYS

 
Dear George, 

I remember thirty years ago when Katja and I met with our financial advisor to plot out our remaining years. He said that our financial plan was based on a life expectancy of ninety. At the time, that seemed ridiculous. Who lives that long? Now, with my eighty-fifth birthday having arrived today, it doesn’t seem so preposterous. Since two-thirds of my 1937 age cohort are no longer with us, I consider us fortunate. I’ve no idea how I’ve stayed healthy this long, but I guess I’ll continue doing the same things. I think solving Wordle each morning helps. 

When I was young I viewed old age with trepidation. My only direct experiences were with my grandparents in their final years, and that was depressing. My grandmother had a major stroke and was bedridden for several years before she finally passed away, and my grandfather became very frail and unable to carry out most everyday functions. Years later my mother had severe circulatory problems and couldn’t walk toward the end of her life, while my father developed Alzheimer’s. 

My experience of aging nowadays is very different, mainly because of attending classes at OLLI (the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute). Most of my fellow students are in their seventies and eighties, and they are a robust group — bright, articulate, active, engaged. Every now and then it dawns on me that this isn’t a representative sample — clearly drawing from a healthiest and well-educated subgroup of elders. However, it does leave me with a positive, nonstereotypic experience of “old age”. 

Eighty-five is a big point of transition since gerontologists consider this the beginning of the “Oldest Old” category (85 and over). I’m not convinced about that. Aside from moderate hearing loss, I feel pretty much the same way that I did two or three decades ago. True that lots of people at 85 show serious signs of aging, but there’s also lots of variation. According to my doctor, I don’t look 85 and I don’t act 85 (although he’s careful to remind me that I actually am 85). 

I had planned to go to the Warren County fair with Katja to celebrate my birthday. That was my choice because county fairs were the most exciting events of my childhood and adolescence. Unfortunately today’s 90+ heat advisory put a crimp in that plan. I attended my poetry group this morning, and we will go to a good seafood restaurant for dinner tonight. All in all, a perfect way to start my year number eighty-six. 

Love, 

Dave

AN IMAGINED CONVERSATION WITH ARNIE EPPO

 
Dear George, 

It seems like every ten years or so I run into Arnie Eppo, one of my high school friends who lives in lower Michigan. Arnie’s always curious about my goings on and asks me lots of questions. Here’s a sample of how our conversation goes. (This, of course, is recreated from memory and imagination, so some parts may reflect a real-life conversation more than others.) 

Love, 

Dave 

 Arnie (A): So you’ve been retired for quite a while now. 

D (Dave): It’s actually been thirteen and a half years. Whew! That’s gone by so quickly. I’m trying to figure out some way of slowing time down. 

 A: I know the feeling. How has it gone so far? 

D: At first I would usually say that I liked working better, mostly because I missed contact with colleagues. But now I find retirement much more relaxing and less stressful. No bosses, no demands, I enjoy lots of freedom and spend my time doing things that give me pleasure. 

 A: Do you miss teaching? 

D (laughs): Actually I never wish that I were back in a classroom. I always found teaching stressful, even though I think I did o.k. at it. Every now and then I walk past my old classroom and feel a momentary pang of nostalgia. But it’s very momentary.

 A: I know you’ve also been married over sixty years. That’s pretty amazing. 

D: It is amazing. Katja’s really the first girl I ever dated seriously. I knew from the minute I saw her that she was the person I wanted to marry. It was a rocky process though. I was such a shy, introverted kid. Katja’s parents were certain that we would get divorced, and her father told my father that on the night before our wedding. My dad told us in no uncertain terms that nobody in our family had ever been divorced (and that no one ever would). It made a big impression. It probably helps account for why we’ve made it through sixty-two years. 

 A: You and Katja must share a lot of similarities to have stayed together so long. 

 D: If anything, it’s probably that old truism that “opposites attract”. Katja’s from Philadelphia; I’m from Menominee. She went to a prestigious big-city college prep school; I went to a small-town public high school. Her parents were staunch Roosevelt Democrats; mine, Eisenhower Republicans. She grew up with classical music; my family listened to big bands and jazz. Katja is very free with money; I’m very stingy.  She's very outgoing; I'm very introverted.  We did, of course, both go to Antioch College, we agree on most political and social issues, and we were both attracted to academic careers. But basically we’re more different than we are similar. 

 A: It’s sort of strange that you wound up going to Antioch, such a hotbed left-wing politics. 

D: It is strange. My conservative parents picked out Antioch for me based on conversations with an Antioch alumnus who worked at Ansul Chemical Co. in Marinette. But I don’t think they had any idea of the college’s political orientation. The alumnus reassured my mother that that there was a strong Greek system at Antioch (totally untrue) with ballroom dances practically every weekend (equally untrue). Needless to say, my first year at Antioch involved a total culture shock. I think I was probably the only student from the U.P. to ever attend Antioch. 

 A: Are you glad you went there? 

D: Definitely yes. It was an eye-opening experience, and my fellow students were exceptional – intelligent, value-oriented, creative. In many ways the most exceptional people that I’ve met during my life. Antioch, without a doubt, changed my life in important ways and shaped all that was to come, including my marriage, my career, and even our long-time residence in Cincinnati (which I picked in part because of its proximity to Yellow Springs). 

 A: So you met Katja at Antioch? 

D: Yes, I first saw her across the lawn at a freshman mixer, and she was so pretty and gregarious that I decided on the spot that she was the girl I would like to marry. I was much too shy to say hello, but I watched her from a distance for the next year and a half. By chance, I was on my first coop job in Madison, while two of my freshman hallmates and Katja were working at mental hospitals in Milwaukee. I came down for a weekend with my friends, met Katja, and things just developed from there. 

 A: How did you win her over? 

D: I can’t imagine. It’s amazing. Katja was very popular, and she told me at one point that 18 of our college classmates had proposed to her during her freshmen year. Not all of these proposals were serious, but some of them were. On our first date I told her that I’d thought that she was the person I’d like to marry the first time I saw her. Katja got really angry and said that that was the worst line she’d ever heard. I, of course, was completely serious. 

 A: Then what happened? 

D: At the end of our three-months stays in Madison and Milwaukee, I invited Katja to come home to Menominee with me over quarter break, and she accepted. I think she didn’t want to go home to Philadelphia. In any case, she was very taken with my parents and their friends, and they with her. My mother told her that she was the first girl that I had ever brought home. Katja wondered what she’d gotten herself into. 

 A: How about your son J? 

D: He probably thinks we’re sort of a weird couple. Like his mom, J is more gregarious and has better social skills than I do. He likes to travel like Katja does. Temperamentally, he’s may be a little more like me. As a teenager J would sometimes say that he’s a sort of balance between the two of us and that it wasn’t easy for him to integrate these opposite influences. 

 A: So, unlike your parents, you wound up having just one child. 

D: Yes, I think that was mainly Katja’s preference, though I went along with it. J often wishes that he had siblings, although when we asked him as a kid, he wasn’t interested. There were some advantages to having a solo child. In contrast to my own family which was sharply divided into separate parent and child sub-groups, Katja, J, and I operated pretty much as a cohesive threesome, and I think J wound up a lot more mature as a result from all that adult interaction. When J went off to college, he went sort of wild in immersing himself in his peer culture, something he’d never done in the process of growing up in Cincinnati. 

 A: Now, of course, you’re grandparents. 

D: Yes, that’s the biggest life change for us in our older years. Our grandchildren, A and L, are very bright and interesting. They’ll turn fourteen in September, are a lot more mature than we ever were at that age, and are doing very well in school. I’m sorry that they’re so far away in New Orleans, and the pandemic has put a crimp in our traveling. I hope we’ll do more trips during the coming year.

What's the Scoop on the Real Seniors?

Dear George, 

I have a big birthday coming up next month. Eighty-five — the biggest number so far. Since 66% of people born in 1937 are no longer with us (1), I should appreciate being around to celebrate this event, and I do. However, it’s still a bit unnerving. Gerontologists call the “85 and over” age group the “old old” or the “oldest old”, a life stage associated with risk of degenerative disease and disability, loss of autonomy, and physical dependence upon others. I prefer to rely upon a British radio station that asked their 85 and older listeners to vote on a new name for people in their age bracket. (15) The number one choice was “Real Senior” (40%), followed by Long Lived” (26%), Wisdom Warriors (12%), and the “Very Oldies” or the “Venerables”. I googled “Real Senior”, and the first thing I got was an organization that helps people remain in their homes as long as possible. (7) Not too reassuring. Then I tried “age 85”, “85 years old”, “oldest old”, etc. Here are some of the things I found. 

 The first thing I noticed confirmed my belief that statistics lie. Most research studies and reviews use “85 and over” as an age group category. However, “85 and over” has an interesting feature. All the earlier age groups are typically in five-year increments, e.g., 40-44, 55-59, etc. “85 and over”, though, is open-ended. Like we’ll just lump all these ancient people into a single category, whether they’re 86 or 102. In one empirical study the researchers reported that members of the 85 and over category in their sample ranged between 85 and 103. That’s a big spread. Looking at census data, about 66% of 85 and overs are 85-89, 26% are 90-94, and 8% are 95 or older. Consequently. “85 and over” (hereafter 85+) is broader and less precise than other age categories and may not be particularly descriptive of persons who are 85. 

 The second thing is that researchers and reviewers tend to focus on negative attributes of the Real Old, i.e., disease, disability, death. However, there are always alternative ways of viewing any given finding. For example, one research team found that 37% of 85+ people have severe visual impairments. (9) This is, of course, an important and distressing finding. Note, however, that we can conclude with equal validity that 63% of 85+ people do not have severe visual impairments. Below I’m going to report some of the research findings I’ve run across on Real Seniors, but turning the reported results around to state them in an optimistic direction. 

*80% of 85+ people live in their own home or apartment, and only 8% live in nursing homes. (12) 

*A British study found that 59% of 85+ respondents reported feeling no more lonely than they had a decade previously. (5) 

*By age 85 80% of people show no meaningful loss of muscle mass and strength. (6) 

*About 50% of adults over age 85 do not have hearing impairments. (6) 

*82% of people 85 and over do not report clinically relevant depressive symptoms. (8) 

*About 20 out of 100,000 people 85+ commit suicide in a given year (0.000002%). (11) 

*Despite decreasing thirst perception with age, 59% of 85+ people drink sufficient liquids daily. (17) 

*According to Webmd, a study of 1,299 women 85 years and older found that 77% do not have mild cognitive impairment and 82% do not have dementia. (16) 

*47% of persons age 85+ report no difficulty performing any daily living activity. (8) 

*A U.S. survey study found that 51% of elderly persons (85+) did not have a need to be driven places, 65% did not need support in taking care of their residence or assistance in shopping, and 77% did not need assistance with housekeeping activities. (14) 

*In 2018 the percent of adults 85+ who did not need help with personal care was 79%. (2) 

*A study of 125 older adults (85+) found that, compared to younger age groups, they score as high or higher on scales measuring resilience, coherence, purpose in life, and self-transcendence. (13) 

 Here’s my way of summing this up: A majority of people in the 85 and over age bracket in the U.S. live in their own homes or apartments; do not have hearing impairments or severe visual impairments; do not show muscle loss; do not exhibit clinical symptoms of depression; have a near-zero probability of committing suicide; do not need assistance in driving, shopping, housekeeping activities, or personal care. While any given individuals might not show all of these attributes, it seems clear that a hefty number of adults 85 and over function effectively in the world, physically, mentally, and socially. So much for the negative stereotypes of the “oldest old”. The next question is how one can age successfully as a Real Senior. I hope to get back to you on that. 

Love, 

Dave 

 SOURCES: (1) 247wallst.com, “How Many People Are Still Alive From the Year You Were Born,” 7-31-21; (2) sci.gov, “2019 Profile of Older Americans,” May 2020; (3) apa.org, “A snapshot of today’s older adults,” Sept. 2021; (4) assets.aarp.org, “Chronic Conditions Among Older Americans,” undated; (5) cambridge.org, “An investigation into the patterns of loneliness and loss in the oldest old,” 10-30-15; (6) frontiersin.org, “Age-Related Disease and Clinical and Public Health Implications for the 85 Years Old and Over Population,” 12-11-17; (7) help4seniors.org, “Stay Independent at Home,” undated; (8) imaging.org, “Read how IOA views aging in American,” undated; (9) ncbi.nim.nih.gov, “Blood pressure and mortality in elderly people,” 6-13-98; (10), ncoaorg, “Get the Facts on Healthy Aging,” 1-1-21; (11) npr.org, “Isolated And Struggling, Many Seniors Are Turning To Suicide,” 7-27-19; (12) pew research.org, “Growing Old in America,” 6-29-09; (13) pubmed.ncbi.nim.nih.gov, Resilience, sense of coherence, purpose in life and self-transcendence…,” 7-9-05; (14) soa.org, “Retirement Experiences of People Age 85 and Our,” 2019; (15) the guardian.com, “Keep it ‘Real Senior’,” 12-15-14; (16) webmd.com, “Prevalence of Dementia Increases Dramatically After Age 90, Study Finds,” 5-9-11; (17) en.wikipedia.org, “Old age”, undated

JUNE IS BUSTING OUT ALL OVER

 
Dear George, 

 I’m confused about where we stand with the pandemic. Some days the news sounds like it’s almost over, even though the disease will continue to be around for the indefinite future. Other days infections and deaths are reportedly on a sharp rise. Our own lives are about halfway back to normal. We’re been going to the Symphony and the Linton chamber music series again with no masks required. Aside from doctors’ offices, most places have dropped a mask mandate. Maybe 10% of people I see on the street are wearing a mask. We’ve also started going out to eat more than we have in the past two years, though we’ve yet to return to the movies. As an older person with a finite number of years left, I’m eager to be doing more in the world and am simultaneously cautious about taking risks. we recently learned that a long-time friend, a few years, younger than us and fully vaccinated, came down with Covid for the third time, was hospitalized for two weeks, and is currently in a nursing home. Gives one pause. 

 One of the best things for us is that OLLI (the university-sponsored Osher Lifelong Learning Institute) has resumed in-person classes, and Katja and I both enrolled this term, having taken a break in the winter. Katja is doing a cooking course on spices, a poetry workshop, a literature course on spies and detectives, and a course called “Let’s Do Lunch” which meets at restaurants around the city on Fridays. I’m taking Advanced Poetry for about the eighth time and a course called “Learning with Laughter through Improv.” I signed up for the Improv course with high hopes that it would offer dramatic personal change, helping transform me to become more open, uninhibited, and spontaneous. So far it’s not as life-changing as I wished, and I’m nowhere near as amusing as I imagined myself to be, but still it’s good for me. My poetry class has pretty much the same people each quarter, we know one another well, and the atmosphere is supportive. We’re not the world’s greatest poets, but everybody appreciates one another’s efforts. 

 Last week Katja couldn’t find her purse. She’d last had it when she went to visit a friend in a nursing home, but she was certain that she’d brought it home with her. I helped look. When she comes home she normally puts her purse in the kitchen, or, if not, she takes it into the solarium. We both searched the kitchen, then the solarium. Then both of them again. The foyer, the living room, all the upstairs rooms. In grocery bags, underneath furniture, behind doors, etc., etc. Every square inch. Katja began to worry that her purse was stolen. I constantly nag at her for living the kitchen door unlocked with her purse in plain sight. Maybe this time my fears had come true. Katja called Visa and American Express to report her missing cards. The next morning we drove to the nursing home, but no luck, and we stopped at all the other places she’d been: The Framery, Whole Foods, CVS. Still no luck. Fortunately I’d made a list of all the cards and documents in her purse. Katja prepared to start calling while I took one last look around. I went into the solarium. There, leaning against the vacuum cleaner near the table, was Katja’s purse. In plain view. We couldn’t believe it. I guess we don’t look near vacuum cleaners. We were very glad that the thief hadn’t gotten it, and we plan to be more mindful about where we put valuable stuff. 

We’ve rarely gotten together with friends since the pandemic started, so we were excited when a poetry class acquaintance from OLLI invited us to a riverboat party on the Ohio. Her daughter had given her the boat cruise as a Mother’s Day gift, and she invited 16 OLLI friends to join her and her partner. It was a lot of fun. The boat was equipped to hold about two dozen visitors. It took off from Newport and cruised up and down the river on both sides of downtown Cincinnati, along with a side trip up the Licking River for a quarter mile or so. Everybody brought tasty food, and we nibbled along the way. I’m not the world’s greatest party-goer, but it was an enjoyable occasion. Katja, on the other hand, is the world’s greatest party-goer so she had the best time. 

 I went down to the kitchen for a midnight snack last Saturday night, and, when I turned the light on, there was a mouse scurrying about the kitchen floor. Then on Sunday night Katja also saw a mouse. Maybe the same mouse, maybe his twin brother. I baited two mousetraps with peanut butter on Monday night. Two little dead mice on Tuesday morning. They were cute creatures with beady black eyes, and it made me sad. I hoped that I’d solved our problem with Mr. and Mrs. Mouse, but I put the traps out again anyway. Two more dead mice on Wednesday morning. Then two more on Thursday. To make a long story short we’ve caught two mice every night for a week. Do all these mice live in our house? Are there a hundred of them? When I was a teenager I used to enjoy catching mice in our kitchen on the river bank, but now it’s a grisly affair, and it’s more unpleasant every day. I’m not sure who’s going to run out of steam first. Me or the mice. 

Love, 

Dave