Monday, November 21, 2022

TIME FOR THANKS

 


Dear George, 

I recently ran across a study that concluded that people who give weekly thanks for events in their lives are physically and mentally healthier than those who don’t. Ever since I started this blog I give thanks once a year around Thanksgiving time. That’s probably not as beneficial as once a week, but I’m sure it helps somewhat. Usually many of my thanks have had to do with the past, e.g., parents, school, job, parenting. This time I decided to concentrate on the here-and-now. Here’s what I’m thankful about in 2022. 


First of all, I owe gratitude to my doctors whose interventions have kept me alive, and I thank the Mercy Health Plex fitness center for helping keep me in reasonably good physical shape. I’m particularly happy about starting my Zumba class again after a long layoff during the pandemic. 

I owe most thanks for love and respect from my immediate and extended family members: Katja, J and K and kids, Vicki, my siblings’ spouses and families, Ami and David Werrin and families. While we’ve lost many friends in the last decade, it’s been rewarding to continue FaceTime contacts with a couple of my long-time friends. 

I’m thankful to the University whose retirement package provides us with financial security. 

While impersonal, I’m thankful to the Internet and to television for lots of rewarding activities. It’s amazing how the Internet has transformed our lives, with immediate access to weather reports, movie and TV reviews, travel planning, local and national news, poems of the day, and research on any question of interest. Likewise television resources have increased tenfold or more in the last decade, with unlimited content from PBS, Netflix, Amazon, HBO Max, Hulu, and AMC+. 

A lot of my quality of life these days is tied to my and Katja’s participation in OLLI, the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute sponsored by the university. I take a poetry writing class every term, as well as offerings in literature and art. It’s a lot like being in college all over again, minus homework, exams, and grades. 

I’m thankful for our miniature schnauzer, Iko, who provides me with exercise and ever-loyal affection day in and day out. 

For their help in making me a more “cultured” person, I’m thankful for the Cincinnati Art and Taft Museums and the Cincinnati Symphony and Linton Chamber Music series. 

Cutting across all of this, I’m thankful to be retired. While I enjoyed my job and was nervous about its ending, the freedom I enjoy to engage in whatever I please is delightful. A true blessing. 

 Love, 
 Dave


Thursday, September 22, 2022

A GATLINBURG REPORT


Dear George, 
 We’ve driven through the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee and North Carolina several times on our way to the South Carolina and Florida coasts, but we’ve never stopped to vacation there. Inspired by our recent trip to northern Michigan, we decided to spend a week in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, the famous resort town that’s the gateway to the Smokies. The Smokies include the country’s most visited national park, and the mountains were awesome. With both of us limping around a bit we did our mountain touring by car rather than by hiking. In particular, we visited the Roaring Fork Nature Motor Trail near Gatlinburg and Highway 441 south through the Great Smokies National Park to the Chimney Tops and to the Newfound Gap. At one stop a lady said to me, “We are in God’s presence.” While I didn’t agree with her on all the details, I did share the sentiment. Here are some of the views.

 

Downtown Gatlinburg could be regarded either as a tourist paradise or a tourist nightmare. The mile-long strip along the Parkway is filled with every sort of attraction one might imagine: endless gift shops, restaurants of all sorts, art galleries, wineries (including Cotton Candy Wine), mini-golf courses, video game arcades, an aquarium that USA Today listed as the best in the country, the Ripley Believe It or Not museum (where we spent several enjoyable hours), the Amazing Mirror Maze, an earthquake ride, escape games, laser tag, skylifts up adjacent mountains, a space needle, candy makers, movie theaters, ice cream shops, and a mountain adventure park. We browsed in the shops, ate at numerous good restaurants (most notably, Chesapeake’s), and feasted on dark chocolate almonds from the Ole Smoky candy factory. Here are a few pics to give a flavor of downtown Gatlinburg.

 

The highlight of our trip was the afternoon we spent at Anakeesta, Gatlinburg’s new mountain-top theme park that opened in 2017. You get there by riding a skylift to the top of the mountain. Katja was completely relaxed and fearless, riding no-handsies, while my knuckles turned white from gripping the safety bar in front of us. Anakeesta is a beautifully done mountain village with attractive shops, multiple restaurants, a lush botanical garden, and numerous treetop adventures for kids and families, e.g., ziplines, a mountain coaster, and an 880-foot Skywalk bridge. I climbed to the top of the AnaVista Tower which offers scenic views of the mountains as far away as Kentucky on a clear day. Among other treats, we enjoyed a delicious meal at the Cliff Top Restaurant.


One of the main things about our recent trips to Michigan and Tennessee is that they have helped us put the pandemic behind us. After two and a half years of feeling locked up at home, life does seems to be getting back to normal these days. It’s about time. 
Love, Dave

Monday, August 29, 2022

I AM A COUNTRY BOY

 

Dear George, 
 I mentioned on my blog post last week that our summer poetry group took up the task of writing about “where I am from”. Katja wrote about growing up in center city Philadelphia in a poem titled “I Am a City Girl”. I wrote about growing up at our home on the Menominee River and adopted a parallel title: “I Am a Country Boy”.  It’s fun to view the two poems in comparison, and it’s hard to imagine such different backgrounds for a couple who celebrated their 62nd wedding anniversary yesterday. 
Love, 
Dave 

I AM A COUNTRY BOY

In 1946 my father returned 
from occupied Japan, 
and our family moved from town to
my grandfather’s Norway Pine cottage 
on the banks of the Menominee River, 
a mile outside the city limits, 
the first residents ever to live 
on Riverside Boulevard. 
Looking across the river from our front yard, 
we could see the local cemetery to the east, 
grand sunsets to the west,
and wild pigs on the island to the south. 
My grandfather had died in 1942, 
and the house had never been finished, 
no electricity, 
no phone, 
no indoor plumbing. 
We bathed in the river, 
used an outhouse by the garage, 
carried water to the kitchen from an outdoor pump, 
and lit kerosene lanterns at sundown. 
I was 9, Steven was 5, Peter was 1, 
and Vicki was yet to be born. 
We shared our property with native species, 
chipmunks, red and gray squirrels, 
garter snakes, grass snakes, water snakes, 
frogs and toads and box turtles, 
snapping turtles in the river, 
crayfish, bloodsuckers, mud puppies, 
Luna moths and hordes of mosquitos, 
wayward deer and wild turkeys, 
foxes, porcupines, otter, 
dead skunks flattened on the road, 
pheasants and woodpeckers, birds of all sorts, 
mice in the pantry, bats in the attic. 
Six-foot pine snakes hid underneath the house. 
In summer we children virtually lived 
in the river and the forest, 
building rafts of dead white pine logs,
camping along Little River at Mason Park,
scouring the woods for deer antlers and snakeskins. 
Our parents taught us the names
of the trees, the flowers, the birds. 
I gathered wild strawberries for breakfast, 
collected cicada skeletons from the river bank, 
made ashtrays for my mother from river bottom clay. 
We rowed our boat to Indian Island for picnics 
with our Irish Setter Mike paddling along behind. 
Steve and I had acorn fights in the autumn, 
wrote messages in ink on birch bark, 
pressed red and yellow leaves in thick books, 
and, with the first winter storm, 
held barefoot races in the snow. 
The river froze over in December 
and we ice-fished for perch, 
shoveled off a skating rink, 
hiked to Pig Island with snowshoes, 
and followed deer tracks in the snow. 
My father tied the toboggan to the Lincoln’s rear bumper 
and towed his squealing children at terrifying speeds. 
We chopped down our own Christmas tree. 
made strings of popcorn and cranberries, 
and tried to stay awake to see Santa. 
My mother cooked whitefish, 
Texas Tommies, and potato sausage. 
When the ice melted and flowed out in April, 
my father named the tinkling sounds 
“Chinese Bells Day”. 
In spring the rainfall turned the road to mud 
and some days we got free vacations from school. 
Steve and I played basketball after dark, 
lighting the hoop with a desk lamp. 
At 16 I built a hidden camp in the woods 
from the trunks of alder trees and vowed 
to live there by myself forever. 
My father gave me Thoreau’s Walden to read. 
Like Tarzan or Robinson Crusoe, 
I had become a creature of the forest.

Thursday, August 18, 2022

"I Am A City Girl" (by Katja L.)

 

Dear George, 
This summer Katja and I have been attending an informal OLLI-initiated poetry group that meets on Thursday mornings. Last week one of our members suggested that we write a poem about “Where I am from.” People responded with enthusiasm. Katja’s and my poems could not be more different. Hers about growing up in center city Philadelphia; mine about growing up in the country outside Menominee. I’m posting Katja’s here, will follow with mine in a week or so. 
Love, 
Dave 

             I Am A City Girl 
                by Katja L.  

I am a city girl 
Born from a flurry of sounds and smells 
Father and mother — two people and a 
four year old singing their way through 
the Blue Ridge mountains in a boxy 
old Chevy 
from Roanoke to our forever home — Philadelphia: 
     “It’s a long, long trail a winding 
     Into the land of my dreams 
     where the nightingale is singing
     and the white moon gleams “ 

I am a city girl 
Raised in a noisy, colorful world 
of trolley cars that clickety clacked 
across the cobblestone streets; ten 
cents to get me across town to Spring Garden School 
Lining up outside in perfect lines 
Eager to hear the buzzer — signaling 
our race to “home room” and snacks 
Apples, Twinkies, peanut butter and grape jelly, no crusts 
Every Monday lunch: 
Boiled Hot Dogs 
Boiled Sauerkraut 
Steamed Baked Beans 
Milk 

Junior High — so far away 
Trolley car, subway, bus — twenty five cents 
Eighteen hundred students 
Pushing, jostling, cursing, angry 
fourteen years old 
Algebra, English, Phys Ed 
So many smells 
Don’t forget homework, papers, deadlines, 
food, money! 
Missed the bus 
Wait until 4:30 for the next one 
Home by 5:30 

Help Dad with the animals. 
Clean cages. 
Hold the Tabbies. 
Feed the pups. 
Mom upstairs — home from her job. 
Tired and grouchy. 
The smells from the animals wafting 
up through the air vents — mixing with the aroma of hamburgers 
and onions frying. 
My father’s veterinary practice on the 
first floor 
My mother’s domain on the second 
a combination that drove the two 
of them into perpetual angry retreats 
Center City Philadelphia 
     The border between the ghetto and the Gilded Age. 

    Saturdays were the best. Grandfather
came and took me to the movies. 
Betty Grable in technicolor or 
Randolph Scott in a double header. 
Lassie Come Home 
National Velvet 
Popcorn and chocolate covered mints. 
My mother’s beloved father 
kind and gentle. A tailor from the 
“old country” living in a new world 
that had no need of bespoke tailored 
suits and, thus, had little need of him. 
Germantown — a large niche in the 
fabric of Philadelphia. 
His business was on the first floor — in front. The 
smells of dry cleaning fluid and musty 
fabric mixed with the aromas of his 
kitchen where my grandmother made 
borscht and black pumpernickel throughout 
the week. 

     Some Saturdays we would sit 
together in the kitchen before an old 
wooden cased radio listening to the 
Metropolitan Opera, marveling at the 
drama taking place before 
us — in our very own kitchen. 
Upstairs — the parlor. 
Covered in dark, prickly, plush 
fabric 
on the walls, two large black, velvet 
pictures of oriental ladies wearing 
pink geisha girl costumes — beckoning 
the onlooker in knowing ways. 
I would caress their velour bodies and 
wonder at their softness. 

 I am a city girl. 
     Years of piano lessons — another 
subway ride to Little Italy and Miss Theresa’s house. 
     The smells of Braciola and Ragu 
permeating my embrace of Grieg 
and Tschaikowsky while Miss Theresa, 
totally blind since birth, reminded
me to sit up straight and try “pianissimo”. 

 I am a city girl 
     Walking through Rittenhouse Square —
     pushing brother and sister in a royal 
     wicker pram up to Mickey’s Garage 
     where I stand — gorging 
     on gas fumes that left us swooning. 

 I am a city girl 
     I come from holiday dinners and loud, noisy eaters — each trying 
to capture the last matzoh ball 
or lightest knish. Three months of study 
with Rabbi Jacobs over in a blink! I ask 
the four Seder questions and am showered 
with gilded chocolate coins. My reward 
is candy and loud murmurings of 
“congratulations”. 
     I am the result of Sunday dinners 
at City Line Horn & Hardarts. 
Chicken a la King, Mashed Potatoes, 
Creamed Spinach, and cherry jello topped 
with real whipped cream for dessert. 

     I am a survivor of the Philadelphia 
High School for Girls. A test to get in — a test 
to get out! Rules, discipline, competition. 
Miss Wilhemina — Geometry. Failed again. 
Told to try harder — or else. 
     On to Shakespeare, French, Physics, Phys Ed. 
An opening in the orchestra. 
Hallelujah! Out of the gym, into the symphony. 
A percussionist. Big noisy me! Father comes 
every Friday to the school’s back door and off we go with the 
Timpani, snare drum, tambourines, and 
castanets to our little home where I 
practice like crazy. Poor Mr. Finkelstein 
and Mrs. Alberti next door. 
     Terrified of being cast back into 
     Phys Ed, my percussion skills improve 
     and warrant a solo performance in the 
     Girls’ High “Olympic” band. 

     My roots are in the city — 

     I come from a flurry of smells and 
     sounds that form the moving screen 
     of my life. 

     I am a city girl.

Friday, August 12, 2022

GOOD TIMES IN WATER WONDERLAND

Me, L, Katja, and A at Farm

Dear George, 

Katja and I are just back from our weeklong trip to the U.P. and Northern Michigan. Our son J persuaded us to come up to our family farm in Menominee. He and his family were there, along with our nephew Jacob, his wife Kazandra, and their kids August and Delphine, all of whom had come from Brooklyn. We had a great time. It was a treat to see our grandkids, and we hadn’t seen Jacob and Kazandra’s family in over a decade. Their twelve-year-old daughter Delphine overheard me saying that my sister Vicki and I rarely talk on the telephone, so she called Vicki and said I was on the line, then told me that Vicki was on the line for me. Vicki and I had a nice talk, and it wasn’t till later that I learned that Delphine had arranged the whole thing to repair our fragile brother-sister connection. 


I’d had my 85th birthday just two weeks before, and J arranged for a family birthday celebration at Berg’s Landing, our favorite Menominee restaurant. My grandkids, A and L, gave me thoughtful and fun presents that they’d bought in New York City, and my grand-niece Delphine gave me an artistic birthday card that she’d drawn. I don’t think I’ve had a birthday party with a family group since high school, so it was a memorable occasion. 


As always, we had a good time in Menominee. This included visits to Henes Park, the marina and historic district, the House of Yesteryear and Main Street antique malls, the Rusty Wolfe art gallery, the Goodwill and St. Vincent de Paul stores, the Menominee County Museum, the Stephenson Library (with its bargain book sale), and meals out at the Watermark, Culvers, and Mickey-Lu Bar-B-Q. I found being at Farm very peaceful. I think it’s because I associate it so strongly with our parents and with wonderful family get-togethers over the years. Everybody was happy to be there.  My cousins Ann and John Buscher came to Farm for lunch, and Ann brought along her amazing family genealogy book.  Then Jacob interviewed me about our family history, an interesting and fun conversation. 


After four days in Menominee, we drove up to St. Ignace where we had whitefish at the Village Inn and stayed overnight at the Budget Host. Katja bought her supply of Murdick’s Fudge for friends, and then we crossed the Mackinac Bridge, driving down the Lake Michigan coast through Petoskey, Charlevoix, Traverse City, Manistee, Pentwater, Ludington, Grand Haven, and South Haven. These are such pristine towns, filled with boutiques and restaurants, and offering magnificent views of Lake Michigan. We stayed overnight in Ludington, did an eight-hour drive back to Cincinnati, and picked up our little dog Iko the following evening.  Now we're resting up and enjoying happy memories.  

Love, Dave 


Monday, August 1, 2022

CONFESSIONS OF A PROFESSIONAL HOARDER



Dear George, 
I retired from my faculty job at the university in 2009, but, thanks to available space and a generous departmental policy, I’ve been able to maintain an office there since that time. It definitely eased the shock of retirement, since I still found myself continuing to go to my workplace four or five times a week. Though I was no longer teaching or doing research, I used the office for writing tasks on the computer, including working on this blog and later poetry projects. Over time my use gradually dwindled, and the pandemic drastically reduced my time on campus. Recently I was notified by the department head that the university was shutting down the entire 16th floor that my office was on and that he was looking into alternative space. I told him that it wasn’t vital to me to have an office, but he persisted and, much to my surprise, came up with a larger office than my current one, all my own. The university’s moving date will be August 15th. 

This left me in a quandary. When I retired I disposed of about half my books and some of my files, e.g., old exams, grad student projects, faculty meeting notes. However, I held on to five file cabinets full of documents related to my career: e.g., all of my lecture notes, all of the xeroxed articles I used in teaching and research, published and unpublished papers, research data, even a couple of undergraduate college papers, my grad school class notes, and the materials from my dissertation project, now 55 years old. I haven’t had the need to use any of this material for the past thirteen years — I don’t think I’ve even opened most of the file cabinet material drawers. If all of this material vanished overnight, it wouldn’t have any tangible impact on my existence. 

To make my decision still worse, the deparrment put a large recycling bin in the hallway outside my office for use by myself and two of my emeriti colleagues who are also moving. What to do? I could get rid of all of the stuff, half of the stuff, or none of the stuff. While all that paper material had no practical value for me, it had a lot of sentimental value since it documented the entire course of my career (plus representing perhaps ten thousand hours of effort on my part). As astute reader probably knows the answer to my dilemma. I decided to keep everything, down to the last paper clip. So far I’ve boxed up my five file cabinets into 22 sizable cartons, and next I have to work on my books, desk, and table, saving all that as well. It was just too disturbing to say goodbye to my entire career. I’ll force myself to throw a few things out the next time they tell me to move. 
Love, 
Dave

Thursday, July 21, 2022

ANOTHER OF THOSE BIG BIRTHDAYS


 
Dear George, 
I remember thirty years ago when Katja and I met with our financial advisor to plot out our remaining years. He said that our financial plan was based on a life expectancy of ninety. At the time, that seemed ridiculous. Who lives that long? Now, with my eighty-fifth birthday having arrived today, it doesn’t seem so preposterous. Since two-thirds of my 1937 age cohort are no longer with us, I consider us fortunate. I’ve no idea how I’ve stayed healthy this long, but I guess I’ll continue doing the same things. I think solving Wordle each morning helps. 

When I was young I viewed old age with trepidation. My only direct experiences were with my grandparents in their final years, and that was depressing. My grandmother had a major stroke and was bedridden for several years before she finally passed away, and my grandfather became very frail and unable to carry out most everyday functions. Years later my mother had severe circulatory problems and couldn’t walk toward the end of her life, while my father developed Alzheimer’s. 

My experience of aging nowadays is very different, mainly because of attending classes at OLLI (the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute). Most of my fellow students are in their seventies and eighties, and they are a robust group — bright, articulate, active, engaged. Every now and then it dawns on me that this isn’t a representative sample — clearly drawing from a healthiest and well-educated subgroup of elders. However, it does leave me with a positive, nonstereotypic experience of “old age”. 

Eighty-five is a big point of transition since gerontologists consider this the beginning of the “Oldest Old” category (85 and over). I’m not convinced about that. Aside from moderate hearing loss, I feel pretty much the same way that I did two or three decades ago. True that lots of people at 85 show serious signs of aging, but there’s also lots of variation. According to my doctor, I don’t look 85 and I don’t act 85 (although he’s careful to remind me that I actually am 85). 

I had planned to go to the Warren County fair with Katja to celebrate my birthday. That was my choice because county fairs were the most exciting events of my childhood and adolescence. Unfortunately today’s 90+ heat advisory put a crimp in that plan. I attended my poetry group this morning, and we will go to a good seafood restaurant for dinner tonight. All in all, a perfect way to start my year number eighty-six. 
Love, 
Dave

Saturday, July 9, 2022

AN IMAGINED CONVERSATION WITH ARNIE EPPO


 
Dear George, 
It seems like every ten years or so I run into Arnie Eppo, one of my high school friends who lives in lower Michigan. Arnie’s always curious about my goings on and asks me lots of questions. Here’s a sample of how our conversation goes. (This, of course, is recreated from memory and imagination, so some parts may reflect a real-life conversation more than others.) 
Love, 
Dave 

 Arnie (A): So you’ve been retired for quite a while now. 
D (Dave): It’s actually been thirteen and a half years. Whew! That’s gone by so quickly. I’m trying to figure out some way of slowing time down. 
 A: I know the feeling. How has it gone so far? 
D: At first I would usually say that I liked working better, mostly because I missed contact with colleagues. But now I find retirement much more relaxing and less stressful. No bosses, no demands, I enjoy lots of freedom and spend my time doing things that give me pleasure. 
 A: Do you miss teaching? 
D (laughs): Actually I never wish that I were back in a classroom. I always found teaching stressful, even though I think I did o.k. at it. Every now and then I walk past my old classroom and feel a momentary pang of nostalgia. But it’s very momentary.
 A: I know you’ve also been married over sixty years. That’s pretty amazing. 
D: It is amazing. Katja’s really the first girl I ever dated seriously. I knew from the minute I saw her that she was the person I wanted to marry. It was a rocky process though. I was such a shy, introverted kid. Katja’s parents were certain that we would get divorced, and her father told my father that on the night before our wedding. My dad told us in no uncertain terms that nobody in our family had ever been divorced (and that no one ever would). It made a big impression. It probably helps account for why we’ve made it through sixty-two years. 
 A: You and Katja must share a lot of similarities to have stayed together so long. 
 D: If anything, it’s probably that old truism that “opposites attract”. Katja’s from Philadelphia; I’m from Menominee. She went to a prestigious big-city college prep school; I went to a small-town public high school. Her parents were staunch Roosevelt Democrats; mine, Eisenhower Republicans. She grew up with classical music; my family listened to big bands and jazz. Katja is very free with money; I’m very stingy.  She's very outgoing; I'm very introverted.  We did, of course, both go to Antioch College, we agree on most political and social issues, and we were both attracted to academic careers. But basically we’re more different than we are similar. 
 A: It’s sort of strange that you wound up going to Antioch, such a hotbed left-wing politics. 
D: It is strange. My conservative parents picked out Antioch for me based on conversations with an Antioch alumnus who worked at Ansul Chemical Co. in Marinette. But I don’t think they had any idea of the college’s political orientation. The alumnus reassured my mother that that there was a strong Greek system at Antioch (totally untrue) with ballroom dances practically every weekend (equally untrue). Needless to say, my first year at Antioch involved a total culture shock. I think I was probably the only student from the U.P. to ever attend Antioch. 
 A: Are you glad you went there? 
D: Definitely yes. It was an eye-opening experience, and my fellow students were exceptional – intelligent, value-oriented, creative. In many ways the most exceptional people that I’ve met during my life. Antioch, without a doubt, changed my life in important ways and shaped all that was to come, including my marriage, my career, and even our long-time residence in Cincinnati (which I picked in part because of its proximity to Yellow Springs). 
 A: So you met Katja at Antioch? 
D: Yes, I first saw her across the lawn at a freshman mixer, and she was so pretty and gregarious that I decided on the spot that she was the girl I would like to marry. I was much too shy to say hello, but I watched her from a distance for the next year and a half. By chance, I was on my first coop job in Madison, while two of my freshman hallmates and Katja were working at mental hospitals in Milwaukee. I came down for a weekend with my friends, met Katja, and things just developed from there. 
 A: How did you win her over? 
D: I can’t imagine. It’s amazing. Katja was very popular, and she told me at one point that 18 of our college classmates had proposed to her during her freshmen year. Not all of these proposals were serious, but some of them were. On our first date I told her that I’d thought that she was the person I’d like to marry the first time I saw her. Katja got really angry and said that that was the worst line she’d ever heard. I, of course, was completely serious. 
 A: Then what happened? 
D: At the end of our three-months stays in Madison and Milwaukee, I invited Katja to come home to Menominee with me over quarter break, and she accepted. I think she didn’t want to go home to Philadelphia. In any case, she was very taken with my parents and their friends, and they with her. My mother told her that she was the first girl that I had ever brought home. Katja wondered what she’d gotten herself into. 
 A: How about your son J? 
D: He probably thinks we’re sort of a weird couple. Like his mom, J is more gregarious and has better social skills than I do. He likes to travel like Katja does. Temperamentally, he’s may be a little more like me. As a teenager J would sometimes say that he’s a sort of balance between the two of us and that it wasn’t easy for him to integrate these opposite influences. 
 A: So, unlike your parents, you wound up having just one child. 
D: Yes, I think that was mainly Katja’s preference, though I went along with it. J often wishes that he had siblings, although when we asked him as a kid, he wasn’t interested. There were some advantages to having a solo child. In contrast to my own family which was sharply divided into separate parent and child sub-groups, Katja, J, and I operated pretty much as a cohesive threesome, and I think J wound up a lot more mature as a result from all that adult interaction. When J went off to college, he went sort of wild in immersing himself in his peer culture, something he’d never done in the process of growing up in Cincinnati. 
 A: Now, of course, you’re grandparents. 
D: Yes, that’s the biggest life change for us in our older years. Our grandchildren, A and L, are very bright and interesting. They’ll turn fourteen in September, are a lot more mature than we ever were at that age, and are doing very well in school. I’m sorry that they’re so far away in New Orleans, and the pandemic has put a crimp in our traveling. I hope we’ll do more trips during the coming year.