SO WHO IS LOSING THEIR MIND?

 Dear George, 

 Katja and I went out for dinner at Le Bar a Boeuf last Friday night. It had just been included in Cincinnati Magazine’s list of the city’s top ten restaurants, so it was a special occasion. As we sat down, I said to Katja that I thought we’d eaten here once before. She shook her head and gave me a funny look. “You don’t remember?” she asked. “Well, I think I do,” I said, “I just can’t remember when.” “We ate here for my birthday,” Katja said. “Oh,” I said, “which year was that?” “My last birthday,” Katja said, “just last December.” That was a total shock. I had no recollection whatsoever of the occasion. I said, “My short-term memory is getting worse and worse.” Katja suggested that I see the doctor, but, even though I was actually worried about losing touch with reality, I resisted her suggestion. 

 I had bad dreams that night about memory loss, and I went to the computer when I got up. I keep a daily diary there, so I went to Katja’s birthday on December 9, 2023. Much to my relief, it said that we celebrated by enjoying dinner out at McCormick and Schmick’s, a local seafood restaurant. I woke Katja up to give her the news. “So who is losing their mind?” I asked. Katja said, “Well, we did eat at Le Bar a Boeuf recently. Maybe it was for our anniversary.” 

 I went back to the computer and did a search on “Le Bar a Boeuf.” It turned out that we had eaten there on November 5, 2022, about five months ago. I still had no recollection of that recent an outing. My main conclusion is that I’m not the only one losing their mind. I was mixed up, Katja was mixed up. It’s not encouraging, but at least I’m not alone in the wilderness.

 Love, 

Dave

ON ALPHABETIZING ONE'S LIFE

Dear George, 

 When I turned 61 I decided it was time to write a memoir to pass along to the younger generation. The task, however, proved overwhelming. There was so much stuff. I didn’t know where to start, what to include, how to organize it. I got dizzy just thinking about it, and I didn’t complete a single word.. Then I was in the thrift store one day and I ran across a battered old dictionary with tons of illustrations in it. It was a eureka moment. I could use the illustrated items in the dictionary to write a memoir in alphabetical order, adding a personal anecdote with the picture and definition for each dictionary item. This still proved to be a big task, but selecting and organizing content became much easier. I finished half the alphabet back then and set it aside, but recently I decided I should complete the task. Here are selected entries for the letter A to give you a sense of what an alphabetical memoir looks like (though I haven’t included the illustrations here). The first half took three years. I hope to be quicker (and around) for the second half. 

 Love, 

Dave 

Abreast.  Walking or marching side by side. When my dad was scoutmaster of our troop, he recruited a former army drill sergeant to train us for three months to march in Menominee’s annual Memorial Day parade. While my father was sure that the rigorous discipline would have wholesome effects upon his attention-deficit charges, we scouts were less enthusiastic and grumbled a lot among ourselves. 

Addams, Jane.  A graduate of Rockford (Ill.) Seminary, Jane Addams was an American social worker who founded Hull House in Chicago. After working for years as an adjunct French instructor, my wife Katja followed her sister’s advice and completed her MSW at the university, then taking a full-time social work position at the Cincinnati Association for the Blind. She and her classmate Terry joked that they were cut out to be social workers for the wealthy. Katja was particularly successful in working with seniors, one of whom proclaimed, “I never knew it was so much fun to be blind.” 

Airplane Hostess.  Airplane hostesses render a variety of personal services to passengers of an airliner in order to make their trip as pleasant as possible. On one of Katja’s and my flights to Green Bay on North Central Airlines, she had a head cold and complained of pain in her ears. The hostess returned a few minutes later, asked if she felt better, and explained that the pilot had lowered the plane by 10,000 feet. 

Alaskan malamute.  The oldest known Alaskan breed originally bred by an Alaskan tribe known as Mahlemute and often crossed with the wolf. After graduating from college, our son J moved to San Francisco for the summer. When visiting an acquaintance and trying to pet his hybrid dog-wolf, the creature slashed J’s right eyelid in two. At the emergency room he was so impressed with his experience that he decided to become a doctor. Despite his father’ voiced skepticism, J persisted and carried out his dream. 

American literature.  Originating in the 17th century as a branch of English literature, American literature has become one of the most exciting national literatures the world has known. When I discovered in my freshman year of college that I was ill-suited to be an Engineering major, I switched to Literature, but then, when my lit professor explained that this was a gravely under-rewarded career choice, I followed his advice and switched once more to Psychology. 

Amoeba.  Any of a genus of unicellular, naked protozoans found in stagnant water. As a freshman biology student I bred amoeba and other protozoa in a dozen or so Mason jars filled with swamp water and yeast. Unfortunately my roommate became offended by the increasing swamp odor in our room and insisted that I move my collection to the fire escape. When I came out to check one day, they had mysteriously disappeared. 

Anchovy.  A small fish resembling herring in appearance, possessing very rich pungent flavor. One of the various conflicts Katja and I coped with in our early courtship was her strong preference for anchovies on the pizzas we ate at Com’s Hilltop Tavern. 

Animal intelligence.  The capacity of animals for learning new behaviors, memory, and other forms of adaptive behavior. Our sheepdogs Mike and Duffy pretty much failed every task set for them at dog obedience school, though everyone admired their cuteness and funny antics. We decided that sheepdogs are too intelligent to be engaged with the boring tasks of dog school. 

Antioch College.  Yellow Springs, Ohio; founded in 1853; about 600 students. An Antioch alumnus interested my parents in the college, but he became annoyed with my mother’s obsession with Greek houses and formal balls and sarcastically said that a tuxedo was an absolute must for Antioch students. When admitted, I managed to convince my mother that I should check out the campus before they buy me a tuxedo. 

Aquarium.  A vessel constructed of glass and containing fresh or salt water in which freshwater animals are kept. When Katja and I went on a weeklong trip, we asked our elderly upstairs neighbors if they would keep and take care of our aquarium. Though speaking little English and initially reluctant, they finally agreed. Unfortunately the air hose stopped working, and all the fish died. Our neighbors kept the little bodies in their freezer, riddled with guilt and not knowing what we might want to do. 

Armor.  Covering worn to protect the body against weapons; any defensive or protective covering. In grad school I participated in one of the professor’s pre-testing of a new projective measure of defense mechanisms he was developing. Later he took me aside and said I was the most defensive subject he had ever encountered. While he cautioned me about the negative effects of prolonged total inhibition, I’ve only experienced positive effects to date. 

Atomic bomb.  The atomic bomb, or more accurately the Nuclear Fission Bomb, relies upon a fast chain reaction in a sample of relatively pure uranium and produces an explosion greater than 40,000 tons of TNT. In the mid-1950’s when fears of a nuclear holocaust were reaching their peak, my father, my uncle Ralph, and my grandfather decided to build a nuclear fallout shelter in a small room in the basement of our family drugstore. There was a lengthy discussion of whether to stock it with guns to prevent neighbors from trying to break in, but they finally decided not to do so.

TIME FLIES

 
Dear George, 

 Here we are almost three months into 2023. Such a shock. I feel as if 2022 just zipped by. While we know that the January 6th insurrection occurred fourteen months ago, it feels like more recent than that. And I find it hard to believe that Joe Biden, our new-ish president, has finished over half of his term in office. I’m always amazed when I read that Hurricane Katrina occurred 17 years ago or that the World Trade Center attack was 21 years ago. In my own life I’m particularly astonished that it’s been thirteen years since I retired. Where did that time go? Likewise it seems not that long ago that my wife and I turned forty and not much longer than that that we first met as college sophomores. 

 Researchers have amply documented that younger and older persons differ in their perceptions of the passage of time. There are multiple ideas why this might be the case. In the first Psychology textbook (1890) William James proposed (as do many current scholars) that time seems to speed up as we age because adulthood involves fewer new and memorable events. For the little kid life is filled with novel and exciting things. Practically everything is new. In adulthood life becomes far more routine and familiar, and, in James’ words, days and weeks “smooth themselves out…and the years grow hollow and collapse”. In brief, the smaller the number of memorable events in a time period, the briefer we feel the time period has been. Curiously, I think of my grandkids, born in 2009, as having been alive for a long time, but the time since I retired in 2009 has gone by in a flash. 

 As do current theorists, William James also speculated that age differences occur because the amount of time passed relative to one’s age varies. For a ten-year-old, five years is half of their life — a long, long time. For an eighty-year-old five years is a mere 6% of their lifetime — a much briefer slice of time. This “ratio theory” suggests we compare time intervals with the total amount of time we have lived. 

 I haven’t seen any discussion of it but my hunch is that one factor may involve fears about mortality. The older people get, the less time they have left, the more they wish that time would slow down, and the faster time seems to be moving toward a feared outcome. For young children, on the other hand, the passage of time is desirable. Growing older and all the benefits associated with it are eagerly anticipated, and the long wait for such change is frustrating. For a nine year old it takes forever to turn ten. For a ninety year old birthdays arrive much more quickly than desired. 

 Now and then I think about how to slow time down. There do seem to be some possibilities. One way is to experience new things, e.g., learning a language or taking a French cooking class. Living a totally routine life makes time fly by much too quickly. 

 Experts also suggest that being “mindful” — fully engaged and in the moment — can make those moments seem longer. Finding joy and excitement in one’s here and now life will counter the attitude that “nothing much is happening” and “time is slipping by.” 

 I also think keeping better track of events stretches time out more. For several years I’ve been keeping a daily diary. I might have the impression that the month of January went by very quickly. However, when I go back and look over my diary entries for January, I realize that a lot happened over a fairly lengthy period of time. 

 Here’s one final suggestion that I make to myself. When one begins to panic because of accelerating time, it’s desirable to remind yourself that time is not literally getting any faster as you age. It’s all in one’s mind. 

 Love, 

 Dave 

 SOURCES: Anderer, John. Physics offers explanation to why time flies as we get older. studyfinds.org, Jan 20, 2022; Dwyer, Christopher. Why Does “Time Fly” as We Get Older? psychologytoday.com, Sept. 6, 2022; Lewis, Jordan Gaines. Why Does Time Fly as We Get Older? blogs.scientificamerican.com, Dec. 18, 2013; Sawyer, Abigail. Wy time flies so fast as we get older. biotechniques.com, Mar. 22, 2019; Wilson, Jillian. Time Flies By Faster As We Get Older. Here’s Why. huffpost.com, Dec. 16, 2022.

SWEET MARCH, THE SEASON OF HOPE AND NEW BEGINNINGS

 
Dear George, 

It’s 67 here on March first, with a predicted high today of 76. The sky is sunny, the daffodils are blooming in our garden, and the newly sprouting grass on our lawn is a handsome green. In some ways March is the most exciting month of the year. It signals the end to the snow and ice that have made dog walking a little perilous and makes outings to the zoo and the city parks more enticing. True, we have more frost and a few chilly storms to go, but this is definitely a season of hope and new beginnings. Here are some of the many interesting things about March. 

Some Basic March Facts.  In the early Roman calendar March was the first month of the year. It was named after the Roman god Mars because it was the month in which generals resumed military campaigns which had been interrupted by the winter. It’s also the start of the season for farming, and many societies still celebrate March as the beginning of the New Year (which is how it feels to me today). The Anglo-Saxons called it Hlyd monath (Stormy month) or Hraed monath (Rugged month). The Vernal Equinox is on March 20th this year, marking the beginning of Spring and the day on which day and night have the same 12-hour length. Daylight Savings Time starts on March 12th. (d) 

March in Cincinnati.  March is a transition month, winding up winter and beginning to move toward summer. Compared to the year as a whole, March is cooler, wetter, and less sunny than the average month in Cincinnati. It’s the fourth snowiest month of the year (averaging 4.5 inches). We typically get rain on ten days during the month. Sixty-three percent of March days are cloudy, 20% are partly cloudy, and 17% are sunny days free of clouds. The average high temperature is 55, the average low 34. March is the windiest month of the year in Cincinnati with winds averaging 11 m.p.h. (a) 

Quirky March Holidays.  March 1 is “National Pig Day”, and March 2 is “What if Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day?” “National Fanny Pack Day” is on March 11, and March 13 is “National Open an Umbrella Indoors Day”. Some celebrate “National No Selfie Day” on March 16 which is the same day as “Absolutely Incredible Kid Day”. March 20 is the “International Day of Happyness”. On the more serious side, Purim begins on March 6th and St. Patrick’s Day is March17th. (d) 

March Madness.  March is the number one month of the year for college basketball fans since it’s the time for March Madness, the NCAA tournament in which the nation’s 64 best teams compete to become the national champion. As a consequence, it’s also the most unproductive month of the year for businesses in America because of all the time workers spend on office betting pools. It’s estimated that some companies lose up to $1.9 billion because of wasted time during March Madness. Because the surgical procedure requires staying home for recovery (presumably on the couch in front of the TV), the first week of March Madness also sees the highest number of vasectomies of any week in the year. (e) 

Poets born in March: Elizabeth Barrett Browning (Mar. 6, 1806); Paul Verlaine (Mar. 30, 1844); A. E. Housman (Mar. 26, 1859); Robert Frost (Mar. 26, 1874); Dr. Seuss (Mar. 2, 1904); Robert Lowell (Mar. 1, 1917); Lawrence Ferlinghetti (Mar. 24,1919); Jack Kerouac (Mar. 12, 1922); Frank O’Hara (Mar. 27, 1926); Gregory Corso (Mar. 26, 1930); John Updike (Mar. 18, 1932). (c) 

March in My Childhood.  After the war our family moved out of town to our house on the Menominee River. Ice on the river melted, broke up, and flowed toward the bay in late March. My parents named the day “Chinese Bells Day” because of the wonderful tinkling sounds from the moving ice. Steve and I tried to rescue treasures from the river that the ice had torn from the banks. We made our last snowmen of the season in March, and I spent less time shoveling our hundred-yard driveway. The melting snow caused deep muddy ruts on Riverside Boulevard, and we’d usually get several days off from school in March because the road was impassable. 

March Nowadays at Our House.  Because of the warming temperatures our dog Iko will get to enjoy longer walks. Katja will go to Rahn’s Greenhouse to buy trays of pansies, and the gardener will begin working on the front and side of our house in earnest. We will watch the Oscars on March 12th, and we’ll celebrate World Poetry Day that same day too. We’ll see the new pottery exhibition by Roberto Lugo at the Art Museum (opening on March 17th), take in the Frank Stella prints at the Skirball Museum (opening March 23), and go to the Dayton Art Institute’s show on artists from Taos and Santa Fe in the 1920’s and 30’s. My OLLI classes in Advanced Poetry and Greek and Roman Mythology wind up in mid-March, and we’ll plan for the Spring quarter. We’ll go to the Linton Concert and the symphony, and Katja and I will each attend our writing groups. I hope to take my first camping trip of the year by the end of the month. 

A March Quote:  "March is a tomboy with tousled hair, a mischievous smile, mud on her shoes and a laugh in her voice.” (Hal Borland, writer) (b) 

 SOURCES:  (a) city-data.com, “Cincinnati, Ohio”; (b) louisem.com, “70 Inspiring March Quotes to Welcome a Marvelous Month”; (c) marchbirthdaysofpoets.wordpress.com, “March Birthdays of Poets”; (d) random-times.com, “The Month of March: holidays, fun facts, folklore and more”; (e) rd.com, “14 Facts You Probably Never Knew About the Month of March”; (f) thefactsite.com, “20 Marvelous Facts About March”; (g) wikipedia.org, “March”.

THRIFT STORE MANIA

Dear George, 

I can’t remember when my passion for thrift stores began. The closest thing in my childhood was when my dad came back from the war. Though he had his law degree, his practice was just beginning, and he had very few clients. Hence, our family had very little income. To save money, we moved to the unfurnished cottage that my grandfather had built shortly before his death out of town on the Menominee River. Every now and then I would get my red wagon and my dad and I would walk the half mile up Riverside Boulevard to the City Dump in order to find furnishings for our new house. This was the most exciting father-son activity of my young life. While he retrieved household items (e.g., broken furniture, worn kitchen utensils), I collected soda bottle caps (a remarkable variety being available back in the forties). I definitely was convinced at an impressionable age of the wonder and value of discarded, secondhand items. 

Nowadays our nearest thrift shore is about two miles away in Winton Place. I visit perhaps once a month. I was excited when they recently opened up a discount warehouse store a block away. As an employee explained, the second store is the “end of the line.” It’s all the stuff that wouldn’t sell in the regular store and is purportedly being given away at bargain basement prices. It’s much more popular than the main store. All of the merchandise is piled into one or another of about sixty huge bins, each holding about 80 cubic feet of cast-offs. Everything is sold by the pound: clothing, toys, electronics, and odds and ends for $1.09 a pound; books for 49 cents. Most of the customers are busy searching through the clothing bins. However, it’s the books and odds and ends that appeal to me. Stuffed animals, toys and games, records and CDs, tableware, office supplies, Xmas lights, baseball caps, artwork, just about everything one might need or desire. On my first visit I filled my shopping basket with miscellaneous treasures including a 1966 Columbia Encyclopedia yearbook (the year I came to Cincinnati). The book was admittedly heavy, but, even so, I was shocked at the cash register to learn that I was being charged $2.35. Since hardback books at the “up-scale” thrift store next door cost $1.00 apiece, the so-called discount price struck me as way out of line. 

I went home and stewed about this for the rest of the day. Finally I took 10 average-sized hardbound books off our bookshelf and weighed them. The average book weighed 2.4 pounds, meaning it would cost $1.18 at the discount warehouse. Convinced of the injustice of my purchase, I wrote a letter to the manager, conveying this information and arguing that it was unfair for the discount warehouse to sell books, on average, for 18 cents more than the “main” store charges. I suggested that 39 cents a pound would be more fair. Even 29 cents would be reasonable for a discount thrift store. I didn’t hear back right away, but I assumed that the price per pound for books would have been lowered by the time of my next visit. Disappointingly it wasn’t. The manager, despite several months to consider the matter, still hasn’t replied to my carefully thought out, helpful and persuasive letter. While discouraged, I do still buy books at the warehouse. But I’m careful to only choose their less weighty offerings. 

Love, 

Dave

WRITING CLERIHEWS: CINCINNATI CELEBRITIES

Dear George, 

A clerihew is a short funny poem about a famous person. The form was invented by poet Edmund Clerihew Bentley (1875-1956) when, at age 16, he was bored in a science class. Rules are simple. Clerihews are four lines long. The first line names a person, and the second line rhymes with the first. Also the third and fourth lines rhyme with each other (i.e., an AABB rhyme pattern). A good clerihew captures something of a person’s character or reputation. The main aim is to sum up an entire life through one incident or detail, making fun of the person. Clerihews are not intended to be rude, but rather are amusing and/or silly. Lines can be any length, and one needn’t use rhythm. W.H. Auden is among the many poets who have written clerihews. Here are some of the clerihews I’ve written about Cincinnati celebrities, current and past. 

Love, 

Dave 

The Bengals’ head coach is Zack Taylor 

Has the mindset of Vlad the Impaler 

Zack draws up the plays for Joe Burrow 

Blazing rockets shot straight down the furrow 

Chef Jean-Robert de Cavel 

Attracted a hip clientele 

The crown prince of French cuisine 

He knew what to do with a bean 

A living legend, hometown hero Pete Rose 

Had gambling debts up to his nose 

Banned for life from the Hall of Fame 

Pete fortunately is impervious to shame 

We all of us remember Nick Clooney 

A most charming man, slightly goony 

Was he likeable?, believe it, Mister 

Though less famous than his son or his sister 

Channel 5’s a.m. star was Paul Dixon 

Way back in those days of R. Nixon 

Paul teased the front row about their knees 

Gave Bonnie Lou and Colleen a squeeze 

Our Reds star these days is Joey Votto 

Hitting better is what Joey ought to 

’Twas a worse than lackluster season 

The wise guys say old age is the reason 

UC’s prez is Dr. Neville Pinto 

Engineering’s the field he’s been into 

Neville’s minions — fifty thousand young students 

All but ten are chronic impudents 

The Reds were once owned by Marge Schott 

Fans prayed that she’d sweeten the pot 

Stupid thoughts about Hitler and Blacks 

But her players soft-pedaled the attacks 

The Bearcats’ best coach was Luke Fickell 

But Luke left the team in a pickle 

Wisconsin wooed our Luke away 

Eight million, hard to say neigh 

The sheriff for years was Simon Leis 

A tough nut who ruled by caprice 

No one ever called Simon humane 

Since his treatments were spankings and pain 

The worst native son is Charlie Manson 

Who was famed at Walnut Hills for his dancin’ 

Manson ordered his groupies to kill 

And they all seemed to think it a thrill 

My first love was Miss Doris Day 

Though Rock Hudson got in my way 

Doris was guileless and pure 

Not to mention her golden coiffure 

Cincy’s cowpoke, a Rogers named Roy 

Such a hero to me as a boy 

Roy would have a shootout with some goon 

Then would croon by the light of the moon

THE BEST CINCINNATI NEW STORIES OF 2022

 

Dear George, 

The population of Menominee County where my home town is located and is about 23,000 while Hamilton County which includes Cincinnati has 826,000 people. Consequently there are about forty times as much of everything in Cincinnati than in Menominee — poor people, rich people, homicides, suicides, vegetarian restaurants, tobacco shops, you name it. As a “small town guy,” I am always amazed by our local news in Cincinnati. Here are my choices for “best” stories in 2022 (where “best” means most amusing, strange, etc.). 

Love, Dave 

 THE AFTER SCHOOL SATAN CLUB 

 Local parents were disturbed when the Lebanon City Schools approved meetings of the “After School Satan Club” for children in the first through fifth grades. The club is sponsored by the Satanic Temple whose organizers say that the Satan Club is an alternative to the Good News Club, an evangelical organization that offers Bible and faith lessons after school. The Satanic Temple does not really believe in Satan but instead promotes “scientific rationality”. Lebanon parents aren’t convinced. (cincinnati.com, 1-21-22) 

DETAINED FOR BEING BLACK 

Two police officers were called to a suburban Meijer store to look for an accused shoplifter described as a white man in his 30s, wearing a dark green jacket with a red hoodie. They promptly stopped a 60-year-old Black man, Arik Lindsey*, who was wearing an orange down coat and a brown and tan scarf. Lindsey’s lawyer said its another instance of a Black person being confronted by law enforcement merely for going about his or her daily life. (cincinnati.com, 2-4-22) 

COACH WYCHE WILL BE AT SUPER BOWL 

Sam Wyche, coach of the last Bengals Super Bowl team in 1989, died of cancer in 2020 at age 74. However, his daughter, Callie Wyche, has brought his ashes and bobblehead to each of the Bengals playoff games, and she’ll have him sitting in front of the TV screen in Cincinnati for the Super Bowl. She’s not sure whether her dad has had a role in the team’s wins, but she’s not taking any chances. (cincinnati.com, 2-9-22) 

 BAD INMATE MANNERS 

Ryan Stock, 24 of Green Township, was jailed for kidnapping a man and shooting him three times in the head when he couldn’t give Stock and his colleagues $5,000. Disgruntled in jail, Stock used a bottle to spray “wet feces” on three different deputies. He is currently undergoing competency tests to see if he understands the charges against him. (cincinnati.com, 2-27-22)  

FAKE DAUGHTER ENDS SOMEONE ELSE’S FATHER’S LIFE 

When Elicia Malthus arrived at the hospital in Edgewood to visit her dying father, Donald, she was told that Elicia Malthus was already in the room visiting him. The impersonator, Marissa Jenkins, 23, signed in as Elisha Malthus and advised staff to remove life support. Marissa was not related to Donald Malthus but was his “ex-stepfather’s sister’s girlfriend’s child” and referred to him as “uncle”. Malthus died the following morning. Jenkins has been charged with identity theft and forgery. Police are also investigating the theft of $2,900 in cash from Malthus’ wallet in the hospital room. (wlwt.com, 4-1-22) 

NOT REALLY SATAN’S DOING 

Southbound I-75 drivers this week probably noticed that a billboard for “The Chosen”, a web series about Jesus, has been defaced. The graffiti artist drew heart-shaped glasses on Jesus’ face and wrote “Stupid Plots” on the billboard. As it turns out, the vandalism was the work of the series’ producers who altered billboards nationwide to promote “The Chosen”. The series co-founder said it only made sense to have the Devil attack Jesus, and he hopes that fans enjoy the humor of this gag. (cincinnati.com, 4-20-22) 

 BAD BOYFRIEND 

Pat Hickey of Clermont County pled no contest to having burnt down his own house and frame his girlfriend. The fire was caught on home security camera which showed two people entering the house with gas cans and removing two large TVs. Hiceys had purchased a custom-made mask of his girlfriend’s face from a company called “That’s My Face” and wore it during the arson. While Hickey did not go to jail, he was required to pay $400K back to the insurance company. (wlwt.com, 4-27-22) 

CRIMINAL JUDGE 

Garda A. Stuckey, 61, of suburban Wyoming, a candidate for juvenile court judge in Hamilton County, has had over a dozen run-ins with local police in the last decade. These include instances where she was found walking topless in her community or lying comatose in a parking lot. Most of the time police or witnesses describe Stuckey as intoxicated and disoriented. Police have made numerous runs to her home for “domestic trouble”, and she has been charged with child endangerment. Democratic party officials chose not to endorse Smith, saying “She did not fit the level of expertise and professionalism that we would expect.” (cincinnati.com, 4-29-22) 

 MUCH TOO YOUNG DRIVER 

A 7-year-old boy was alone in a red Kia SUV, driving in the eastbound lanes of Roosevelt Boulevard in nearby Middletown. He then crossed the median, entered the westbound lanes, struck a guardrail, and crashed into a parked red jeep. Bystanders helped get the boy out of the car after the crash. His parents, unaware that he had left the house, joined him at the hospital. (cincinnati.com, 5-13-22) 

 PURE EVIL Cincinnati police officer Erik Wertha was reassigned and then fired for having “pure” and “evil” tattooed on his right and left knuckles. Department policy forbids tattoos on the face, neck, head, and hands. Wertha appealed, saying that the tattoos do not represent “pure evil” but are on different hands and symbolize the struggle between good and evil. He will not have the tattoos removed because of the cost of cosmetic surgery. (wlwt.com, 6-7-22) 

 MEALS NOT YUMMI 

Anastasia Shinster and Sachar Wilson weren’t happy with their meals at Yummi Xpress on Reading Road in Roselawn and wanted their money back. Wilson sucker punched an employee in the face and kept asking Shinster to shoot him. Shinster then pulled a gun out of her purse and shot the restaurant owner in the arm. Both are due in court on Monday. (local12.com, 7-23-22) 

HELPING THE BENGALS WIN 

 An Enquirer sports columnist during the Bengals win streak asked readers: “What did you do to make the Bengals win again?” Here are some of their rituals. (1) I stopped watching the games live. (2) I stand up and scream on important plays. (3) Put my left leg over right for offense; right leg over left for defense. (4) Keep the remote and phone about a 30 degree angle next to each other on the couch arm. (5) Wear my gold chain every game. (6) Set the volume to 24 on my TV and 19 or 21 in my truck. (7) Wear the same sweatshirt for each home game and never wash them. (8) Don’t wear any Bengals gear. (cincinnati.com, 12-15-22) 

 *Pseudonyms used throughout.

NOLA TRIP PIX

 Dear George, 

We’re recently back from a weeklong family Thanksgiving trip to New Orleans. It was a special time to visit. Our family has recently moved from Mid-City to their new Uptown home. Our grandkids, A and L, are in their final year of junior high and will soon be taking a big test to get into the high school of their choice. K’s parents, Linda and Ted, have both recently returned to New Orleans, Ted staying in J and K’s basement apartment for the winter months and Linda in her nearby apartment complex. Here are some of the highlights of our visit.

On our first full day K took us to see the newly established Museum of the Southern Jewish Experience. It’s a very excellently done coverage of the adaptation of European Jewish immigrants to the rural South, often in situations where they were the only Jewish family in the community. Many tears and smiles and highly recommended if you visit NOLA.

 

On Thanksgiving Day J roasted a 20-pound turkey, filling it with butter under its skin, and other family members prepared sides for the holiday feast. Here are a few of the hard-working cooks (Katja, L, and A).

Before Thanksgiving dinner J took a group of us to the horse races at the fairgrounds where the local citizenry dress up in colorful and wacky costumes. My reckless associates lost all of their bets on the horses.

Here is our group at dinner: (from the left), A, Conrad (a family relative), Eddie (as family friend), our daughter-in-law K, K’s dad Ted, the back of my head, L, Linda (K’s mom), and J taking the photo. A happy and filled up bunch.

New Orleans, of course, is a great town for eating out. We had family dinners out at Dat Dog (with the fanciest hot dogs on the planet) and La Crepe Nanou, an elegant French Restaurant. We lunched at the Redfish Grill on Bourbon Street (raw oysters for Katja, a fried oyster po-boy for me), Freret Faire at Rouse’s Market, and Ted’s Frostop, a 1950’s style diner. Above is Katja enjoying her oysters at Redfish Grill, a happy trio at La Crepe Nanou, and Ted’s Frostop.

J took the kids and us to the Historic Orleans Collection which featured a digital tour of the Notre Dame Cathedral post-fire renovation, and then we visited M. S. Rau Fine Arts and Antiques on Royal Street (Picasso, Chagall, Matisse, etc., with price tags up to $2 million, including a million-dollar ornate chess set).

J also took us to see the top high school football player in the nation and University of Texas recruit, quarterback Arch Manning (Peyton’s and Eli’s nephew), in his last home game for local Newman High. Unfortunately Arch had an off day and his team got blown out by upstarts from Baton Rouge.

 

One of our favorite places is the New Orleans Art Museum. This time we saw an exhibition of Black studio photographers in New Orleans and works by surrealist painter Louise Bourgeois. 

Our week went by too quickly and we miss our sweet family. Hopefully we’ll be back in the spring. 

Love, 

Dave